Language and Love

Zianbu is easing into our family quite well. Really, I'm not sugar-coating it. He is happy and HEALTHY. He throws an occasional tantrum (usually when he has to put on a seat belt) but what 3 year old doesn't? Mostly though he's glued to my side and ready to play. The tough part for me now (other than my aching back from holding him) is the language barrier. We can communicate well enough as far as potty, sleep, share, eat, etc. But I miss the conversations I could be having with him. Kids are so funny, I hate that it will be a few months before I can really "get" all that he's saying. The other day, one of Lily's friends said, "I can't wait till I'm 100. Because then I'll have a servant who will carry me around since my legs won't work." Is that a riot or what??? Those are the things I hate to miss with Zinabu. I'm trying to be patient as I continue in my role as "nanny" and ease slowly into "mom." I feel like a nanny because I care for his needs, but I'll feel more like a mom when I can talk to him about why ice cream is so yummy. It's hard to explain... I'm such an impatient person. It's hard to wait.

Just For Fun
This week I am supposed to be attending 2 luncheons, 1 soccer practice, a teacher appreciation event, writing the school newsletter, and other lame commitments. Instead, I will be doing a whole lot of gazing at my kids. A fair trade, really. Today Zinabu said something in Amharic, and although I didn't know what it was, I repeated it back to him. He cackled with laughter. Gee, so I guess my pronunciation needs some work, but he didn't have to be so cruel. He laughed for a good 10 minutes and kept giggling whenever he said the word again. This from the child that once again wore 2 shirts, a hat, and a fleece that he refused to take off even in the heat of the day. He loves his clothes.

A Very Brave Boy

Imagine being 3 years old. You're whisked away from your native language, food, and surroundings by a (nice) white man and taken to America. Once in America, you meet your new mom, brother, and sister. Your first 48 hours are a whirlwind as you take in new sights, sounds, and smells. And then you start to feel really, really sick. You're so sick, in fact, that you cannot eat or drink for 4 days. You go to the hospital, where people who do not speak your language stick needles in your arms, draw blood, hold you down when you're screaming, and stick tubes up your nose. Can you imagine that? I can not. I watched Zinabu go through it, and I still have a hard time grasping what that would feel like. Thankfully, all that is behind us now. Zinabu is a little weak and tired, but he's so happy! He ate a great breakfast and a great lunch, and right now he's taking a much deserved nap. He played hard in the sandbox most of the morning, and threw a bit of a fit when I told him it was time to go inside. How wonderful.

A huge hooray for all the nurses who took care of Zinabu. Most of them were outstanding. The bummer was they all wore special masks and gowns and gloves whenever they worked on him, so he could never see them smile. But they were gentle and supportive. They used Amharic when I gave them certain words to say, and that helped. A huge boo to the ER doctor who was a complete jerk--but I won't waste any time going there.

I consider our family very blessed. What Zinabu had was a serious virus that is completely preventable here in the United States. He was exposed in Ethiopia. We are thankful he did not get sick in Ethiopia, or on the plane with David. We try not to worry about "what almost happened." It's like a very bad dream that I still can't believe happened.

The good news is that Zinabu is very attached to us now. David and I took turns holding him 24/7, and Zinabu was comforted by this. He knows we love him and that we take care of him. Although I wish he had never been sick, his illness really speeded up the attachment process. Zinabu is a very happy, very sweet boy. He loves our family and he loves being here. The only times of day that are a little rough are nap and bedtime (an anxious time for lots of 3 year olds) and changing clothes. In the care center, all the clothes are communal. No child has anything of their own. So Zinabu, once dressed, is reluctant to take any clothes off. I HAD to give him a bath last night, and he really fought me. It wasn't until I figured out he didn't want to take off his new jacket that I was able to reassure him. I kept telling him "Zinabu's" as I pointed to his clothes. After a few seconds, he had a huge smile. We even spend time in his closet pointing out what is his and telling him over and over it belongs to him. Still, when I put him down for a nap today, he was wearing 2 shirts (he loves them both) and that jacket. So cute.

I look forward to all the fun posts I get to share in the future about Zinabu. It will be so nice when this past week is just a distant memory.

Lily coloring with Zinabu--who is wearing the infamous jacket.

WE ARE HOME!!!!

Thank you, all of you, for your amazing support and prayers. I attribute Zinabu's recovery to a miracle--there is no other explanation for it. He was discharged from the hospital today, and he is currently asleep in his bed...all snuggled in with no IV's or meds to worry about.

I will post tomorrow about this crazy week (I promise). For now, I need to get some sleep. I am breathing the first sighs of relief since Monday. It feels so good.

We're At The Hospital!
I took Zinabu to the hospital yesterday morning and they spent a few hours hydrating him and doing blood work. He has an infection so they admitted him. Last night was really tough, as I was pushing through my 3rd night with little sleep. At one point his fever was 104 and I was crying because I felt so helpless. There I was with my Amharic phrasebook, and there is no way to look up "You're in the hospital and they have to stick IVs in your arm and run crazy tests on you but it's OK." I speak to him in short, comforting phrases...and he loves when I hold him. But the pediatric ward is depressing, and I can't leave the room because he's so contagious. The nurses are very kind, but on the whole the staff treats Zinabu like he's E.T. Since he's from Africa and has not had vaccinations, they ran probably 30 tests on him. They even stuck a tube down his throat to suck up mucus from his lungs. I hate this! The endless hours of fevers and vomiting are not going away. Please pray for me--that I not get sick! Please pray for Zinabu to make a very speedy recovery and that he can come home soon. Blessings!

Brutal Honesty

I will probably delete this post in a few days, so that Zinabu never knows I wrote it, but the last 48 hours have been some of the hardest of my life. If I didn't post on April 30th about how wonderful everything was going, I wouldn't believe it. Zinabu continues to vomit and run a fever. We have antibiotics for him, but I was only able to give him his first dose and have it stay down this afternoon. Today he was so sick he began associating our house and family with his illness. He tried to get into our van and he started crying the most mournful cry you've ever heard. He wanted to go back to Ethiopia...and who can blame him? The language barrier is so difficult when he's sick. There is NOTHING I can do for him except be there. He is angry at us, but he also wants me to hold him all the time. He was so clingy I couldn't even put him down to clean up the vomit on our floor.

I have hardly spoken to Carver and Lily, as they stand off to the side and cover their ears at Zinabu's cries. I try to be there for them, but it's impossible. I miss them, and I don't know how to express that. I have to believe Zinabu will start feeling better at some point...that I will actually sleep and brush my teeth at some point...that he will forgive me at some point for forcing medicine into him.

This is the part of adoption that I want to be bold and talk about. Everyone around you is so happy at the arrival of your child, it's easy to forget that this is when the hard work starts. Let's get real--I love Zinabu, but right now I am a nurse with no pay or shift change. Zinabu and I have no relationship. He does not trust me. He does not even like me very much. Of course it will get better in time. But for right now, the brutal honesty is that I am at my wit's end.

A Sick Little Boy

Zinabu has been fighting a cold, but this morning he woke up with a high fever and vomiting. He is pretty ill, and it is breaking my heart that I can only speak to him in broken Amharic. He's a trooper, but if he can't keep fluids down we'll be at the hospital tonight. Please pray for him.

More Pictures

Why this picture? Because it shows Zinabu is capable of independent and creative play. One of my (small) fears was that Zinabu wouldn't know how to play on his own or play creatively. He squashed that fear with his cute little foot right away! He's my kind of kid: plays with sand, digs in rocks, collects sticks, draws with chalk, and on and on. We had a blast watching him put sticks in the sand in his truck.



Bubbles were a big hit today. Of course he insisted on holding the bubble container so it was completely dumped out on his shoes in less than 2 minutes. He loves our backyard and the freedom to play and run and just be a kid. Life at the care center was very structured and there was not much room (or grass) to run around. Zinabu's muscles are actually a little soft from lack of exercise. We'll get him all buff in a couple of months.


A picture of a VERY happy boy eating shiro and injera. Shiro is ground chickpeas, and you add spices and cook it up. I put some chicken in it too, since the word on the street is that Zinabu loves meat (sigh--another meat eater!). When I pulled out the injera for him, he did a happy dance and shouted for joy. I was so glad I could provide a familiar meal for him, given that his entire life has been turned upside down. He has a hearty appetite. You can see him eating as a traditional Ethiopian with his hands. He's very adept at folding his injera up and scooping the shiro up. He can use a fork at mealtimes, but we don't care right now. Eating with his fingers feels "right" so we are happy to let him go at it. What's funny is that I should have taken a picture of Carver and Lily with their jaws touching the floor! They could not believe what Zinabu was eating.

As for me, I am tired but content. Today was a turning point for me, and I was surprised to have it come so quickly. I look at Zinabu and I can tell you that I love him fiercely. I grieve a little bit that Lily and Carver have to share me (sounds weird but it's how it feels)...that going from 2 to 3 kids spreads me thin. Still, I know this is right. He is ours.

It's All About Yellow

Yellow is it! Zinabu loves yellow. Our first full day together was a blast, and today will be another fun one. It's 80 degrees, so I had to convince Zinabu that the yellow sweatshirt was not going to work today. I talked him into a t-shirt with a yellow skateboard on it. I'm going to need to make run to Target at some point for more yellow t-shirts.

Zinabu is doing incredible! He worships Daddy and Carver, although he will make time for Lily and me. He's happy, excited, energetic, and playful. The only "issue" so far is typical orphanage behavior of grabbing toys and not wanting to share. He's almost on Colorado time. He woke up at 3 am again, but he stayed in bed. I snuggled with him, but he stayed quiet and eventually went back to sleep. He's a pretty good eater. He's used to eating everything with his hands, so we're working on using a fork. Funny, though, how he spears huge portions of food and shoves it in his mouth.

I have very few pictures. Zinabu will not hold still...and if I get a photo of him he's usually reaching for the camera and his face looks out of proportion. Also, he's still fighting a runny nose and I don't want to post pictures of his snot. Call me vain, but I'm being firm on this. I will try to get more pictures today and post again tonight.

Playing with chalk...

He's Here!

A quick post to let you know that Zinabu is in Colorado and doing a great job at destroying our house. Typical 3-year-old behavior, so we believe he's developmentally on target! All of David and Zinabu's flights (though long) went well, but Zinabu was so sleep deprived and messed up from the time change, he was too tired to give me anything other than a polite smile when we met. He fell asleep in the car halfway home, and never woke up! We think by tomorrow he'll be on US time. He awoke at 3am this morning and enjoyed a long bath. We played with the bath toys and blew bubbles at each other. I liked that he had some alone time with me.

Zinabu is a very happy child and will play and chat with anyone. The benefit of that is he's joyful and easy going. The downside is I think it will take a few weeks before he grasps that we are his family and not just another care center. All in due time. It also will take me awhile to "feel" like his mom and not just a caregiver. Again, all in due time.

I will TRY to post some pictures tonight. He's a darling, but he has a nasty cold and an unattractive slimy nose. Right now he's not looking his best. Have a wonderful day! We sure will.

How surreal to see the countdown clock on my blog with just hours left. I am surprisingly calm (for me, people, this is a big deal) and I am getting ready to put the kids to bed. The house is clean. The pantry is stocked. The laundry is done. We're ready.

Right now David and Diana and Zinabu are (hopefully) sleeping and are about to land in Rome to refuel. They don't get off the plane--they just keep flying to Washington, D.C. When I wake up in the morning, I'll do a few last minute things--like make dinner so that when we return from Denver all tired and hungry, it will be ready. I plan to leave our house around noon so we can stop at an Ethiopian food market and pick up some fresh injera and some cooking spices. Then we'll zig zag on over to the airport and TRY to stay calm while we wait for this BOY to join our family. When I was at the grocery store today I wanted to tell each and every person in the aisles, "Guess what? My son is coming home tomorrow!!!" I restrained myself, but it was hard.

I thought of something this week that is interesting. As of tomorrow, I will be a minority in my family. There will be three children with brown skin, and two adults with white skin. I don't think I can express how humbled I am by the privilege of raising my children. This family we've created through adoption has blessed me beyond all my wildest dreams. I no longer say, "We're done adopting" because I said that before and look what's happening tomorrow. I don't know if we'll adopt more children. Maybe yes, maybe no. But as our family grows and settles even deeper into the "trans racial" category, I feel that we represent so much hope, so much love, and so much delight.

I will TRY to post some pictures of Zinabu tomorrow night, but no guarantees. Even when he falls asleep, I doubt I will be able to leave his side even for a second. I'll post again when I can. Thanks for all your support.

A Bit Of A Blow (And A Blow-Out!)

I let David know this morning that the school district had called and wanted to get in touch with him. He called the woman who had interviewed him, only to find out he did not get the position. (Gee--do you think having to interview on a pay phone in Rome might have affected it?) We are both a little shocked and David is very discouraged. To make a long story short, he had been planning and working toward this new job for the last 2 years. We firmly believe God must have something else in store for him, we just don't know what. I can tell you he's not going to stay in his current job much longer. Too stressful. He's ready to move on. So we'll see where this goes.

David gave a great update on our little guy. Zinabu is nearly impossible to settle down at night and at nap time, but once he finally lies still, he is asleep in about 20 seconds. He slept through the night and was happy to be with his Dad. Most children in Ethiopia are sharing their intestines with active parasites. I'll spare you the details, but David informed me that Zinabu is definitely fighting some poop bugs. I've already made a doctor's appointment for Zinabu for next Wednesday, and I expect our doctor will prescribe parasite meds right away.

Tomorrow will be the house cleaning festival of the century. I knew I would need something to keep me busy all day Friday, so I've purposely let the house get messy. All will be put back in order by Friday night. I can go to sleep (yeah, right...) and wake up Saturday ready to meet my son at the airport. I can not believe the day is almost here.

We Have A Winner!

For no other reason except that it made me laugh out loud... this week's Cathy Award goes to this photo. Enjoy.

A Voice!

I am one of those freaks that is somewhat anti-cell phone and doesn't feel the need to have one. But I tell you, today I am singing the praises of technology because I just spoke with Zinabu on the phone. David called me (on our $4.99 a minute) international phone, and Zinabu is with him now at the guest house. David has full custody and the boys are together in the room. All through our brief conversation, I could hear Zinabu in the background babbling like a normal 3 year old boy. In fact, he was talking so fast, so loud, and so excitedly David and I were laughing till tears were running down our faces. Such joy! David put the phone up to Zinabu's ear and I said, "Selam, Zinabu! Mommy!" I heard him scream, "MOMMY."

Okay, I am ready for them to come home now.

Signed, Sealed, Delivered--He's Ours!

Yesterday was Embassy Day in Addis. I said in an earlier post I wouldn't sleep well until David made it through the Embassy with our paperwork and we got the stamp of approval. For all my stress and paper-pushing, David said it took 2 minutes for the Embassy employee to look everything over and say these wonderful words...

"Congratulations. He's yours."

Another Update

The following is from an email from David:

"I spent the morning in school with Zinabu. He is such a happy, healthy boy. Diana and I walked to the school where he spends each morning. We found him in a small room, sitting on cushions with 25 other three-year-olds. They were listening and repeating in Amharic. They were going to release him to me, but I asked if I could watch. So Diana and I spent the next hour watching the lesson. They sang three songs that I recognized:

My God Is So Big
God Is So Good
This Is The Day

He knows all the words! He is a quiet talker, unless he is talking to or at one of his friends. We will sing these songs often to him for familiarity. I held him any time he wasn’t in a formal lesson. This was his choice, not mine. He is very possessive of me which I encourage. When I set him down to go to his assigned seat I make sure that I never hold any other kid; even though many are clamoring. I want him to know that I am only here for him. He has told many of his classmates: Ababa! Ababa! (prounounced: Ah buh buh, which means "Dad").

The morning session was all in Amharic, except for the songs listed above. After a snack and recess---I held him the entire time---he had English instruction. He can recognize the entire alphabet with an assigned picture. I know this because he was called to the front of the class to use the big stick to point to each and call it out while the class echoed him. This was repeated many times. The class then colored an O and an orange on a sheet of paper. Our boy was the first to complete the assignment! He colors in the lines and uses his right hand.

He can count to ten and knows many parts of the body. Oh yeah, his ears are ticklish!"

I just got off the phone with David and I hardly know what to write. We had a rushed conversation because it was so expensive for him to call, but he was able to tell me a lot. David and Diana flew in safely, but they were completely unprepared for the overwhelming poverty everywhere. It was a very, very hard ride from the airport to the guest house. As soon as they arrived, they were thrust into meetings. Granted, David and Diana arrived a day late but there was no time for them to catch their breath. Because the day was so busy, David only had about 15 minutes with Zenabu. But I can tell you it was glorious! David arrived at the care center and was taken to the "3 year old" room (that's how he described it). All the children began chanting "Zinabu, Zinabu, Zinabu..." Zinabu was shy for 1.5 seconds, then ran into David's arms, where the boys wrestled and rolled around like puppies for a while. David said he is beyond cute. Just adorable. Thank you, Lord, that this day has finally come!

Oh--did you notice the spelling in Zinabu's name now? We received his birth certificate, and it's officially Zinabu.

A New Feature!

Zenabu's arrival is fast approaching, and in a few weeks all this "As the World Turns" drama will come to a close. I thought it would be fun to start giving the "Cathy Award" to certain people/places/products that make me happy or somehow make my life easier. And when something makes me fume, it/they will receive the "What Were They Thinking?" award. So why not start right now?

This week's "Cathy Award" goes to (drum roll):


Flat Earth chips. We eat the cheddar flavored crisps and I love them. Best of all, my kids love them. These chips actually give you a half serving of fruits or vegetables for every 12 chips. Someone was thinking when they came up with these beauties. Probably a cool parent that was looking for a way to get more veggies into their kids' bloodstream.

Unfortunately, the "What Were They Thinking" Award has to go to one of my fave mags:



This month's edition has an article about infertility and how different families handled it. A few of the families chose to adopt, but imagine my horror when the writer used such medieval terms like, "they knew they couldn't have children of their own" and "she might be their only natural child." Are you kidding me? Of course, it took me 2 seconds to send a letter to the editor to complain. When will we move past these dumb terms? Shame on you, Real Simple.

In other news, I continue to cook as little as possible (how many grilled cheese sandwiches do you think we can eat?) and just enjoy Carver and Lily. I may not post again until I hear from David on Saturday--after he's met Zenabu. Stay tuned.

David called from Rome today. They've been doing as much as they can on foot, and are blown away by the beauty and history of one of the greatest cities in the world. I'm so happy David and his sister are having this experience. Unfortunately, it's going to be interrupted by another job interview. Before David left, the Assoc. Superintendent of our school district assured him they would not do the second round of job interviews until after he got back. David was smart and gave them all his info. anyway, but again and again he was told, "We'll talk to you when you get back." So you can understand my anger when the school district called yesterday morning to tell me to tell David they would complete the second interview on Friday at 3pm Rome time. After getting all the information, I said (insert snide, dripping-with-sarcasm voice) "I'll do my best to get in touch with him." So poor David, who will already be checked out of his hotel and not yet at the airport, will have his HUGE job interview at a payphone somewhere in Rome. I hope this makes for a funny story someday, but right now I'm too bent out of shape.

On another note, I am daring to believe warm weather is really right around the corner and I've changed my blog color to be a little more "spring-y." Colorado still gets snow well into May, but we can also have 90 degree days in May. But I'd like to hope flip-flop/shorts/no-more-coat weather is on its way.

What Happens When?

I thought I'd let you know what David's week is going to look like. I realized I haven't yet posted any kind of timeline/calendar of events for David's time in Ethiopia. Here we go...
Friday the 20th, David and Diana leave Rome very late at night and arrive in Addis on Saturday morning.
Saturday the 21st, David and Diana get settled into our agency's guest house and have a de-briefing with agency staff about Zenabu. This is when they will receive a packet of information all about Zenabu--current medicals, temperment, personality, likes and dislikes, and photos. It helps prepare David. The rest of Saturday, David will be able to be with Zenabu at the care center. I can't WAIT.
Sunday the 22nd. David and Diana are taking a round-trip drive to the area Zenabu lived before he was relinquished. They will have the opportunity to get out of Addis, see the landscape where Zenabu lived, and possibly meet any living birth relatives (should they choose to show up).
Monday the 23rd. Play with Zenabu, shopping, whatever.
Tuesday the 24th. Embassy day. You go to the embassy and submit your paperwork for a visa for your child to enter the US. (I don't think I'll sleep very well until I know this is over and done with and the paperwork is all good). It doesn't take very long, so David and Zenabu and Diana will still have lots of time to do other things.
Wednesday the 25th. This is the day David will probably take full custody of Zenabu, and Zenabu can stay with David at the guest house.
Thursday and Friday, the 26th and 27th. More shopping, sightseeing, playing, napping, a farewell ceremony for Zenabu.
Friday the 27th, they leave Addis VERY LATE at night and fly straight through to Washington D.C. They transfer to Denver, where I will be standing in a puddle of tears, waiting for my son to join our family.
Hope this helps...

Up, Up, and Away...

And they're off! I just got back from the round trip drive to Denver International Airport. Getting up at 4 am just isn't my cup of tea anymore. It's downright frightening. It's raining today, but I think flights are flying in and out all right. It was hard saying good-bye to David. 12 days is a long time to be apart from him--especially during such an important time in our lives. We stayed up talking last night, just marveling at the crossroads we are at as a family. Miraculous!

Packing turned out to be a lot harder than anyone could imagine. You have to pack what you need, pack what you want, and then pack in case all of what you need and want gets lost somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean. We also tried to cram last minute toys and donations for the kids at the care center in Addis. If we exceeded the weight limit on our luggage, I guess that's David's problem now.

As I write this, David should be just finishing up the job interview the school district so stupidly scheduled for today. I know he just wanted to get it over and done with so he could look forward to his trip. I'm praying it went well for him, but mostly praying for safe travel and fun in Rome with his sister. Pray for me too! I now enter the realm of "single mom" until David returns. I have such a respect for the women in the world that raise their children on their own. They have the toughest jobs, hands down. At least I know my single status is temporary. Another temporary situation is a mom to 2. In 12 days, I'm a mom to 3--one of which will not speak a lick of English.

Life is amazing.

The Severity of the Situation

This is the man who is getting on a plane in about 14 hours to fly across the world and pick up our son. He is taking our digital camera (with good reason) but I realized I won't have any current photos to post for a while. As I was scrolling through our picture archives, I found this gem. It's from our trip to Disneyland last summer. NOTE: He is not riding with a child. I believe he went "one more time" to try to top his high score. A toast...to fun husbands!

Happy (early) Birthday, Lily


Lily's birthday is May 1. But that's 3 days after David returns home with Zenabu. We didn't want the "big 6" to get lost in the shuffle, so we had a surprise party for the little princess today. Just family, and it was extra special because Aunt Diana flew in last night. I can't believe Lily is almost 6. How did that happen? Here's a picture of her at about 9 months old.

What a sweetie.

We continue to press on here at Adoption Command Central. The paperwork has reached critical mass (as in...there's no more putting it off. I have to get it done). It's not that there's soooo much of it (there's just a lot) but it's that it has to be done exactly right. I feel that given my inability to make good pizza dough from scratch, remember to apply sunscreen all the time, and return my library books before getting fined---the odds are not in my favor that I'll finish this paperwork error free. Prayers, please.

Crunch Time!

Do you remember this scene from Star Wars? They're in the big trash compactor and the walls are closing in on them. Hmmm. I can relate. The walls are definitely closing in on this family. Just 3 days until David leaves, and we've been thrown for a few loops. There is a job that David has been waiting a couple of years for, and the woman currently in the position is retiring. Back in February, the school district posted the job--meaning you could send in an application. So David did. The school district has had 15 weeks to get their act together and start the interviews, but they kept putting it off. Wouldn't you know, David gets a call on Thursday telling him they'll be starting the first round of interviews on Tuesday. As in Tuesday, the day he leaves!

Can he do it? Yes, with a lot of juggling. The interview is scheduled for 8:30 am, so he will have to rent a conference room at Denver Int'l. Airport and do it over the phone. We will probably have to leave our house at 4:00 am on Tuesday to drive the hour+ to the airport, make sure he gets through int'l. security, and he can get to this conference room to use a phone. He doesn't want to use a cell phone for fear of getting cut off or a bad connection. Oh, and it gets better. If he makes it through the first round of interviews (which he will), the next round will be on Friday--when David is already checked out of his hotel in Rome and sitting at the Rome airport. We're trying to figure out the time difference and getting through security in Rome so he can do the interview, but the phone is a kicker. Our international cell phone charges $4.99 a minute, and this second interview will probably be a good 45 minutes. We're looking into phone cards, anything.

So our weekend has been stolen from us. Our last few days together as a family of 4 were pulled out from under us, so to speak. David is a ball of stress, and I am trying to just stay out of his way. This job situation steals the attention we had wanted to give to the trip and to the adoption. The timing could not be worse. David has a lot to prepare for with this interview. And it's not like anyone in HR for the school district cares that he's leaving the country. It doesn't matter if you're having your leg amputated, they schedule the interview, you figure out how to get there.

We are watching the weather closely, too. Another big storm is scheduled for Monday/into Tuesday. I think we have to be completely ready to leave this house--packed and paperwork ready--by Monday morning in case I need to drive David and Diana up to Denver a day early. Big storms here mean they close the highway.

I'll keep you posted.

Busy...

That's what it is right now. Just plain busy. I hate busy. I really dislike having a to-do list that's a mile long. It freaks me out. David's long-time best buddy happens to be in town this week. We're scheduled for a blizzard on Friday. Diana comes Saturday. We are celebrating Lily's birthday on Sunday (since her birthday is May 1--four days after Zenabu arrives). Packing. Paperwork. Notarizing documents.

Gotta run...I can feel the tremors coming on.

What Is In Your Pantry?


I was talking with my sister-in-law tonight about how the price of groceries seems to keep going up and up. Whether it's the cost of gasoline or just basic inflation--I don't know--but I sure felt like it was a real problem.

And yet...

And yet tonight in Ethiopia a mother has no food in her pantry to feed her children. I know the world still has the images of famine-starved African children in their minds when they think of a country like Ethiopia. Yes, there was a famine. But it's so much more than that, too. Every day mothers and fathers die to preventable diseases like typhoid and malaria, or they succumb to AIDS. When a parent dies, the other parent is left carrying the load of work and childcare and basic survival, and the downward spiral begins. There just isn't enough money to buy enough food or medicine or clean water to allow young children to live. There just isn't. The vicious cycle of extreme poverty sucks the life out of the next generation.

I don't think the solution is for the world to adopt all the orphans in Africa. I believe a better solution is to end extreme poverty and help rebuild the amazing countries in Africa to be self-sufficient and family strong. Adoption makes a difference in the life of one child, but it will not stop the hemorrhaging that is happening in places like Ethiopia. 6,500 Africans die EVERY day to PREVENTABLE, TREATABLE diseases. I remember when the tsunami hit and Americans were awestruck at the sheer number of reported deaths. And that happens every week in Africa.

Please, if nothing else, please go to your pantry right now and give thanks for the food you have. Give thanks that you will not be faced with the dilemma of watching your children starve.

Hurry home, Zenabu.

Checklist

1. Finished taxes
2. Purchased airline tickets to Ethiopia
3. Finished editing job
4. Started paperwork for Zenabu's visa for the U.S.A.
5. Actually finished a movie with David (we are slowly working our way through Academy Award winners...but we're still back in 2005)

I could have posted a list of everything that didn't get done, but there's not enough room. We're inching our way forward, though, to the big trip. Some details just can't be worked on until a day or two before David leaves. This week should be crazy--but good crazy. Each day gets us closer to Zenabu. In fact, 21 days from today I will be holding him in my arms. Amazing.

Happy Easter. He is Risen!

What Is Brave?


Is it Lily leaving the house dressed like this? Is it me letting Lily leave the house like this? I would like to invent a universal sign that mothers can use to communicate to one another that our child dressed themself that morning. Why would I pick striped tights, a black leotard, and pink crocs for Lily when she has so many other outfits? But still...what a combination!

I confess I am surprised that the number one question I get asked is "Will you keep his name?" The number one question for a while had been "Will he come with a name?" which I highly resented because it made it sound like our son was a product. I will never forget the first time I heard Zenabu's name. Lindsay had called me with our referral and she said, "His name is Zenabu and he's 3 years old." It took me about 24 hours to get used to this unusual but beautiful name (which means rain) and since then I've been smitten. There was much discussion in our house about whether or not to keep his Ethiopian name or change it or shorten it. David's middle name is Jon, so we settled on Jon Zenabu. It flows well and would be easy to transition into. But there's one problem...

I can't do it. I cannot call our son anything other than Zenabu. So who knows what we'll do. Maybe everyone else will call our son Jon, but I will be the holdout for Zenabu. Maybe we'll call him J.Z. Maybe Zenabu will not allow anyone to call him Jon and he will decide for us. After all, it's his name. I guess we will wait and see.

Aaahhhhhh!


God has an unbelieveable sense of humor. Earlier last week I was praying for lots of distractions. So I took on some freelance projects, volunteered for some things at my kids' school, and let the house go to pot. Then out of the blue we get the call that we can travel, so suddenly I am in warp speed trying to do a million things at once. I have way too much on my plate right now. My editing job is due on Wednesday, and let's just sayI'll probably be sacrificing a lot of sleep to get it done. Not to mention packing, paperwork, last minute everything, and just general upkeep with an already disheveled house. Mama mia!

Happy Everything!

Yesterday was such a great day that I was super-woman. After getting the unexpected call from CHSFS that Zenabu's case somehow made it through court on Thursday, things went from terribly awful to amazingly incredible in a snap. (Feeling bi-polar is a regular occurrence when you're adopting.) I especially wanted to have a great day with Carver and Lily. They've done a lot of TV watching this week while their mother stared at blank walls and cried. So I packed up the swimming things and we hit the big indoor pool here in town. Water slide, wave pool, lazy river. We swam like fishes for hours. Everyone was happy. Then, because today is my 11th wedding anniversary, my mom watched the kids last night so David and I could go out on a date. There was so much to celebrate, I let David pick the restaurant! Aren't I super???? And when he said he wanted to go to a steakhouse, I only gagged once. He got his week's quota of red meat, and I sat with stars in my eyes thinking about happy anniversaries, happy adoptions, and happy families. Happy Everything!

How It All Adds Up!

This one boy...



Plus these four people....




Equals our new family. HE IS OURS!!!! Going to get him April 20.

Major Distraction

To be honest, yesterday was one of the lowest of my lows. Trapped in the court system in Ethiopia for the 3rd time (but who's counting). I was so tired, emotionally and physically, that my brain was mush. I didn't think I'd be able to quit thinking about all the drama and get some sleep. Well...I was pleasantly surprised! As I was getting ready to tuck Lily into bed, I noticed that a helicopter was hovering low somewhere nearby. Really low and really nearby. I looked out the window and saw the helicopter searchlights shining on my front lawn while a car I didn't recognize was pulled up in front of our house. At that moment, three police squad cars screeched up to our house and approached the car with guns drawn. Uh...hmmm. We turned out our lights, calmed the kids down, and watched the drama unfold. There were two people in the car and they both fled---over our fence, through our backyard, and over the other fence! They were gone in just a few seconds, but the police stayed for several hours. So did the helicopter. It hovered for at least 20 minutes with our house completely lit up. The officers left their cars, with lights flashing, on the street while they searched our front and back yard with their flashlights. Carver kept yelling, "This is awesome!"

To me, the funniest part was that the whole neighborhood and anyone driving by our house had to think we were raving ax murderers or cocaine suppliers. It looked like the police were there to arrest us. And truly, we live in the most boring neighborhood in the universe, so it was a random, one-in-a-million event.

But it sure helped me not think about court delays in a certain country.

Inspiration

When we began this adoption a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, I had expected it to go well. We've adopted twice before, and David and I felt like adoption pros. But how wrong I was. As things went from bad to worse, I began to rely on other people in adoption-land for help and support. As much as people in your life try to empathize with you when things are hard, there is a giant chasm of "you-just-don't-get-it" that I feel at their words. Two women who have also gone through a lot in their adoption journeys are Heather and Anne (see my links section). Heather's adoption saga just came to an end, and it was a nightmare. But each day I checked her blog--knowing that someday, something had to go right for her. And it did. She inspires me and has encouraged me every step of the way. If she was able to persevere, I can too. Anne and I don't know each other--we've never spoken, except to each leave a polite comment on each other's blogs. But I discovered Anne's blog last year and was so drawn to her and her family and their quest to bring Hayat home. Her wit and down-to-earth attitude left me inspired many times, and when she finally had Hayat in her arms, I actually cried!

So here I am, on the verge of either a mental breakdown or able to see this thing through. I will see it through. Even though Zenabu's case was denied--again--and I don't know when this will end, I can't give up. He's my son and he's part of our family. We ache for him. And if anyone is reading this blog and has also experienced some kind of setback in their adoption dreams, I hope I can somehow be an encouragement to you to keep going. Do not give up!

How To Live In Limbo



I have not slept in 2 days, hence the sunglasses which are hiding my bloodshot eyes. As I have not heard from CHSFS today, my suspicion is that Zenabu's case did not make it through court. I was tempted to rant and rave about how unfair this is, but my heart is with Zenabu today...who has been living in an orphanage for too long. He's the one that has the most right to complain. It's most unfair to him. I understand the courts in Addis wanting to make sure all the details are squared away as fas as paperwork is concerned, but the piece of paper they want--in my opinion--does not warrant this much of a delay. I think what's most anxiety inducing is that our fingerprints for immigration expire in 9 weeks. I feel like a time-bomb is ticking away, and I do not want to re-do those fingerprints! So for now, I will continue to pray for my little guy...and I will visit my happy place. I like to see some of the sweetest babies in the universe. Want to come with me? Click here.

No News...



Good grief! I hardly know myself anymore. I have been reduced to a hand-wringing, eating-out-of-the-carton, absent-minded, phone-vigil woman. CHSFS emailed today (after I sat quite rigidly by the phone for 4 hours) that their contact in Ethiopia hadn't called yet with the news about court cases. Uh--okay. I can tell you I slept for all of 4 hours last night. I kept waking up and looking at the clock and figuring out what time it was in Addis. So...I don't know what happened yet with Zenabu's case. Hopefully someone will call CHSFS tonight (when it's the work day in Addis) and give an update. Lindsay told me she'd call as soon as she heard anything. Right-o. Back to my carton of comfort.

Is The Third Time A Charm?

Tomorrow (Tuesday) is Zenabu's next scheduled court date. This is the third time his case will be presented, waiting for approval. I hardly know what to do today. The weather is nice, so we're going on a picnic at a local park. I'm picking up a work project (I'm a freelance editor) so I'll try to distract myself with work. The hardest part will be trying to sleep tonight. I'm just praying that my anxiety level not build up to volcanic proportions. CHSFS is great about calling the second they have news (good or bad) so hopefully tomorrow I can update my blog with good news. Please be praying...

Let's Play A Game...




Can you answer this question? What chore is Cathy doing this afternoon? Is it:

a) reading a book
b) cleaning the carpet where a child puked last night
c) shopping for new shoes

If you picked "b" you're a WINNER! Your prize? The satisfaction that you don't have to clean my carpet.

When A Wait is Good

One of my favorite verses in the Old Testament is Jeremiah 33:3--"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." I don't profess to know all the reasons why this adoption has been such a rough journey for us. But a lot of good has come out of it too. Things that I didn't know but have become more clear as time moves on. The longer we've had to wait, the more comfortable we've become with adopting an older child. When we started this process, we said age 2 would be our age limit. Months and months went by, and we began to feel more excited about a child older than 2. Zenabu is almost 3 and a half (although I suspect he's closer to 4. It's hard to know because they don't mark birthdays the way we do in the United States). Another great thing that has come about is that I would do this again in a heartbeat. In 2 or 3 years, when Zenabu is 5 or 6, I can see us adopting a 4 or 5 year old. And if you had told me a few years ago that I would be at a point where I would be willing to adopt an older child from Ethiopia, I would have laughed in your face. But this journey--though hard and painful--has stretched and grown me in ways I never expected. Why wouldn't we do this again? Why wouldn't we adopt an older child? It's so exciting to wonder about what we don't yet know.

Cooking--Part Two

When we received our referral information for Zenabu, we were given a lovely photo (which I will post the second his case makes it through court) and some brief documents about his health and development. At the bottom of one document, it said his favorite food is injera and wot. I think (other than the picture) that was what made me feel most connected to him. When Carver was 3, he would have said quesadillas. When Lily was 3, she would have said apples. And now I know the favorite food of our new son!

If you don't already know, injera is a flat, pancake-looking bread that is made from teff (a grain). You make the batter and let it ferment and sit and do its magic, then you pour it out onto a large, circular griddle. You then serve the injera with the protein part of you meal around it or on top of it. Ethiopians traditionally use their hands to eat with, and injera is most definitely a finger-friendly food. You tear a piece off and scoop up meat and sauce and eat away. Another tradition Ethiopians have that I adore is they feed eachother. It shows care, love, and friendship. I look forward to sitting with Zenabu at our dinner table and putting morsels of food in his mouth. When he finally feels comfortable with all of us, I will celebrate the day he reaches his sweet hand out to put food in our mouths.

Okay--now here's the hard part. Injera is a science. You don't get a recipe and mix everything up and voila!--perfect injera. And as much as I love to bake, I have given myself the grace to bow out of this one task. I found a fantastic website that will let me order injera and the spices necessary to make doro wot so that Zenabu will not have to rely on my failed injera attempts to eat his favorite food. How amazing is the internet, anyway? With a few clicks, I can have authentic injera shipped to my doorstep for my family. Of course, if it's not very good, Zenabu will let me know and I will have to quickly come up with a plan B.

One woman that has completely amazed me is my cyber-friend Heather. She is in Ethiopia right now picking up her new son and daughter. They're a little older, and Heather has spent a good chunk of time getting injera right at her house so she can make her kids' favorite foods too. If you click on her link on the sidebar, you can see her step-by-step instruction in her blog. But if you want to sample a little injera and don't know how to make it, go to ethiopianspices.com

Cooking--Part One

First of all, a HUGE thank you to all the people on the CHSFS forum who responded with such empathy and love to my post there. I cannot tell you how great of a support group I have on that forum. And now...for something not really adoption realated: cooking. My first nemesis is my oven.

It sits there in my kitchen and every day at about 4:00 pm it starts taunting me that I need to make dinner. I absolutely hate to cook. I love to bake (go figure) but I hate to cook. It's just not my thing. I would be perfectly happy with a salad every night. But I am not the only person living in this house so I don't get to choose that. Apparently I'm mostly responsible for the dietary needs of three other people (soon to be four other people). One of those three people feels he must have a giant slab of meat at every dinner. Another of those people thinks American Cheese in a flour tortilla is haute cuisine. And the third is pretty happy-go-lucky. Last night I made chicken pot pie (one thing I can make well) and I realized that when Zenabu gets here, I will need to increase the size of all our meals. Not a lot...but enough that I'll have to switch off auto-pilot in the kitchen and think about making sure all my meals feed 5 people.

My other nemesis when it comes to cooking? This sweet face!


He's really cute, I know, but please refer to the above paragraph where I mention American Cheese and tortillas. Enough said. All in all, though, I do a decent job of making sure everyone gets enough fruit and veggies, protein and dairy, and fill in gaps where necessary. I am a little nervous about Zenabu coming when I think about food. His paperwork says his favorite food in the whole wide world is injera and wot. Eh hmmmmm.

Our Timeline

Someone left a comment on my last post that since I didn't have to wait long for a referral with CHSFS that I should not be so hyped up about not getting a travel date yet. And I totally agree with that...if that were the whole story. But some people may not realize what this entire adoption has been like for us thus far, so I thought I'd post our timeline.

July 2005--Decided to adopt from Ethiopia
July 2005--Sent in application to our first agency/Sent in application to home study agency
Feb 2006--Homestudy FINALLY done after horrible delays. Took 7 months (usually takes 2)
Nov 2006--Left first agency after waiting 9 months for a referral. Agency misled and lied to us.
Nov 2006--Switched to CHSFS
Nov/Dec 2006--Had to redo all our paperwork/homestudy/dossier.
Jan 2007--Approved with CHSFS and officially waiting. Received our referral in 3 days. We are very thankful, but the referral process with CHSFS is about the only thing that has gone smoothly for us. In about 4 months we will be at the 2 year mark of this journey. It shouldn't have to be this way, and I would never suggest to anyone that this is typical of how it is to adopt from Ethiopia. It's not. It is generally a smooth process. We have hit just about every snag there is. But am I still overjoyed to be united with Zenabu? You bet. Can you blame me for aching to get him here where I can hold him? I hope not.

Not A Good Day...

Three families with our adoption agency got their clearance to travel today. I am trying so hard to be happy for them. I really am. But all I did was cry. We've been waiting a month longer than them to travel, but they get to go before us. I am just so, so tired. I am tired of waiting and I am tired of having what little hope I have left in me smashed all over the floor. It just plain stinks. Zenabu's case isn't even scheduled for court for another week, and I really have no guarantees it will go through then. What's a mom to do?

Getting Ready


My husband David is a bit of a bicycle fanatic. He loves to mountain bike (and has all the scars and broken bones to prove it) and he's the bike magician at our house. Guess what he bought me for my birthday last year? Yep...a bike! A retro 1969 Schwinn Cruiser. This is a photo of him getting Zenabu's bike all ready for him. This is the bike David bought for Carver when Carver was about 2 and a half. I balked at the price, but David assured me it was a good investment and it would last forever. He knows the good bike brands and bought it at an honest-to-goodness bike shop. Well, here we are 6 years later and this little bike is going strong. Carver rode it forever, then Lily rode it, and now it's getting ship-shape for Zenabu. I can't wait to see those little legs pumping away on it.

Sunday Here...

It was so beautiful this weekend (upper 70s) I actually dragged out the kiddie pool and let the kids splash around. Other than a really bad meltdown from she-who-must-not-be-named, we had a very relaxing weekend together. Church this morning was beautiful, and so many people encouraged me to hang in there--that they're praying for me--that I feel I can face another week. And the best part is, while it's late Sunday afternoon here in Colorado, it's almost the start of the workday on Monday in Addis, Ethiopia. Maybe court is underway even as I write. So here's to good news about Zenabu this week.

Braids and Bugs


I spent most of the morning braiding Lily's hair. It takes about 5 or 6 hours total, so I break it up. I begin on Friday night and get the back done, then on Sat. morning while she watches cartoons, I finish the sides and top. It's absolutely fantastic when I'm done, because other than keeping her scalp moisturized, I don't have to do a thing to her hair for 3 weeks! Who knew a white girl like me could learn how to do braided extensions, but I have. Lily loves her braids and to me that is the best part. She feels incredibly beautiful and happy with her hair when it's braided like this. It is a balmy 70 degrees in Colorado today, so I am headed out to the sandbox for some digging with 2 cutie pies, and then we have a jam-packed day that includes looking for bugs, riding bikes, swinging, grilling burgers, and whatever else we feel like doing. David has nothing scheduled, so we get to be together as a family until we can't stand it anymore. Who knows, this may be one of our last weekends together as a family of 4. Once we get Zenabu, we'll be 5. I'm just leaning on God for His timing.

Conversations With A Pharmacist

I was at the store tonight to drop off a vast array of prescriptions to be filled, and the pharmacist was quick to notice they were mostly travel meds. The anti-malaria pills must have been the big tip-off. He wanted to know where we were going so I told him Ethiopia. His eyes got big and just out of curiosity asked why. I explained that David was going to pick up our son. Have you ever seen your pharmacist melt? I have. He just gushed over me. The cashier came over and gushed too. They had all the fun questions like how old is he? what's his name? how long will David be there? when did we get our referral? I found myself getting excited all over again. They had the awesome response you hope you get when you share your news that you are adopting, and I got to talk about my current favorit subject: Zenabu. It was so fun, in fact, I didn't even bat an eye at the total cost of all those travel meds. Blimey!

I don't advise self-medicating with food, but man was this chocolate good today!

RATS!

It's a four-letter word, but at least it's appropriate. I got home to a blinking answering machine and heard Lindsay's voice asking me to call her. She's our contact at CHSFS and is handling our adoption case. I actually thought (silly me) she was calling with good news that Zenabu's case made it through court and that we could travel. No such luck. His case is delayed again due to some documentation the court feels they really need. They need a little bitty piece of paper that tells them the area Zenabu lived in before he was relinquished. That's it. We're not the only family that's stuck with this problem, either. There are 4 or 5 others. Lindsay said the courts used to overlook it if this certain paper was missing, but lately they've been cracking down. I can't tell you how discouraged I am today. We have been through so much with this adoption. We have hit every possible problem I can think of, it is crazy that we are one of the families "stuck" in court still. At least Lindsay didn't seemed concerned. She said the document will come--we just have to wait for it. She hopes we'll be able to travel in mid-April. But that is a month away from now and it feels like an eternity. I hate this!

guardian angel



David and Carver made it home safe and sound last night. It wasn't until they were on their way that I had the terrible visions of David lying on the slopes with a broken leg. Skiing just 2 or 3 weeks before you travel to Africa may not have been the wisest move. Nevertheless, they came home after an incredible day together, and I know a few guardian angels that had their jobs cut out for them yesterday. Carver is surprising us with his snowboarding abilities. He's really good.

Today I did something that I hate to do. It was really, really awful. I went to (drumroll please) Wal-Mart. Yech! I never set foot in that store because it drives me bananas. And why shop at Wal-Mart when there is a very lovely Target just down the street? I shouldn't complain, though. Someone was very generous and gave us gift cards to Wal-Mart, which I used today to purchase the items David will need to take with him to Ethiopia. Things like anti-nausea meds., hand sanitizer, travel toothpaste, et. cetera. My cart was pretty full by the time I was done, but I feel confident I was able to get just about everything he'll need. The fun part was buying colored markers (100 of them) for the children at the care center, and lots of stickers for Zenabu to play with on the airplane. It warms my heart that in just a few weeks, David is going to an amazing country in Africa where he will meet our son. Words just can't express all that we're feeling.

almost time to start planting...

That's me with my father, a long, long time ago. I bet I was 3 years old. We lived in New York and it was our first house. There was lots of black dirt, and my dad loved a project! I do remember this afternoon together with him, and I treasure it. My dad has been gone almost 4 years now, and it hurts as much today as it did the day he died--it's just that you learn to function through the pain. It is unfathomable to me that we are about to adopt our 3rd child, and my father will not know our son. Zenabu will have no memory of my dad. My dad doesn't know that we've added another child to our family. I hate it! But I'm thinking of my dad fondly today. The weather is getting warmer here, and in a week or two, I'll start my seedling indoors. My dad would be so proud. I'll add a photo of part of last years crop. And I can't wait to let Zenabu help me with this year's garden.

girlie day

The boys in the family left early this morning to go snowboarding. Always looking for a bargain, David saw that a local car dealership was offering free lift tickets if you came in and test drove one of their cars. Completely up for the challenge, David went in a few weeks ago and did the test drive. When they got back to the dealership, the sales-dance began. I think the conversation went something like this:
"Sir, I'd like to tell you about some of the excellent features in this vehicle."
"I'm here only for the free lift tickets."
"I understand, sir, but first if you'll allow me--"
"I'm here only for the free lift tickets."
"The gas mileage alone is--"
"I'm here only for the free lift tickets."
"Financing is an option if--"
"I'm here only for the free lift tickets."

The salesperson finally gave up, and David left with (you guessed it!) free lift tickets. It's a beautiful day here in Colorado so I know David and Carver will have a wonderful day together. Lily and I plan to do a whole lot of nothing, including a walk to the horse stables, playing in the sandbox, making brownies, and goofing off! Hooray. I hope you have a wonderful day too.

a day at the zoo...





No school today, so my friend Ali and I took our kids to the zoo. Lily and best buddy Bailey got to giggle together and actually look at the animals while Carver and best buddy Noah ran around, wrestled, and generally annoyed the animals. What fun!

the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day!

CHSFS emailed today to inform us that Zenabu's case did NOT make it through court on Feb. 28th as planned. We don't know why. It's just life and there are delays. His case is now set for March 13th. I am devastated because this really throws off all hopes of travel over David's spring break AND David's sister being able to travel with him. She still may, but I don't know if she can get the time off work. Oh--and lest you think I am sooooo super-spititual with giving up snacking for Lent...today's bad news sent me into a downward spiral toward a carb-induced coma. I am taking my bloated self to bed now.

please ring!

the phone really, really needs to ring today with good news for travel. we are getting down to the wire here. last night i slept about 2 hours because my mind was racing in circles about how much we have to do before david goes to ethiopia, and how little time we will probably have to do it in. the packing and the paperwork is overwhelming. so if our agency would call today with the news that our paperwork is through the courts in addis, that would be a good thing.

how much?

something kinda sad happens when you turn 35. your metabolism slows down. i've slowly begun to realize this over the last several months, and i am not happy about it. last week i decided to start seeing how many calories i ate in a day, and looked for ways to cut out what i really don't need. but something happened along the way, and i've begun to think about the millions of people on this planet that have 300 calories a day--in a bowl of rice, for instance--and that's it. for the last 5 days, i have only been eating a small breakfast, a tiny lunch, and a normal dinner, and no more. i drink a lot of water and hot tea, but there's no denying the fact that my tummy feels empty. i feel so fortunate to have so much food in my house, and access to food all around me. the u.s.a. is so focused on food, in fact, you really can't go very far without it staring you in the face. i usually don't take part in lent, but this year i am challenging myself to eat the bare minimum and live with hunger pains as so much of the world does. at least i know when lent is over, i can eat whatever and whenever i want. others are not so blessed.

have you met my friend bono?

i know it's self-serving, but where else can i post my all-time favorite picture? yes, that's me about 2 years ago (with short hair). i'm completely obscuring david's face. he's behind me with the baseball cap and blue shirt. we got to meet bono (lead singer for u2 for those of you who have been living under a rock the last 20 years) before a concert. i'd like to tell you i had a very meaningful conversation with him, but i'm pretty sure i only had a tiny bit of drool coming out of my mouth. i made pointless hand gestures that i wanted his autograph, and he signed my shirtsleeve. so why do i care so much about a rock star? he's been a very influential person in my life. he's championed the causes that have pierced my heart. he's the reason behind product red (see my link inspi(red)). he's a major reason people are waking up to the aids crisis in africa. and i believe god is using him to spread the message of the poor. please watch his speech at the naacp awards last night. http://sandiego.cox.net/cci/entertainmentvideonews
rock on, bono!

amazed...

two really wonderful things happened yesterday. we received an email with updates on zenabu. even though ethiopia is having trouble with broadband, their turtle-paced dial-up is slogging along, so they do have some communication. when your child is on the other side of the world, living in a care center (albeit a great care center) you spend a lot of time awake at night wondering "how is my sweet boy?" so to get an unexpected email with a copy of a report that shows zenabu's latest milestones--well, it's a cause for celebration! zenabu is now 36 inches tall and 30 lbs. he interacts great with others and also enjoys playing by himself. they've said he has a "quiet" personality. huh? wonder what that's like! he's healthy and doing well--praise god!





the other wonderful thing that happened yesterday was that the women from my bible study threw a shower for zenabu. this is an incredible group of women that i've been close to for 5 years now. we've been through a lot together--and they've supported me through this entire crazy journey. they have told me again and again that they feel like they're getting a little boy too! so you can see carver and lily standing in front of lots of cute boy clothes, and the other picture shows some of the haul zenabu received. zenabu is so blessed and he doesn't even know it yet. all these women that fussed over the cutest little details for him--like socks and shoes and hats and toys and clothes, clothes, clothes. sweet cards telling him how they've prayed for him and are so excited to meet him. wow.

it was a great night.

3 year old boys

i've been trying to remember what little boys are like at 3. i have an 8 year old boy now...so it's been a while. i was looking through old photos, and i found this treasure of carver. this is how i remember a 3 year old boy. wanting his face painted every single day, trying to ride a bike with training wheels, laughing, giggling, and rolling around in the grass a lot. sign me up!

snow...

it just started snowing here in Colorado, and it's really snowing in minnesota where our adoption agency is located. the agency is actually closed today because of the weather. folks, we're talking minnesota--land of the vikings--so you know it has to be bad there. i am sad because this means no phone call today with news for travel. i'm trying not to get anxious. the bible clearly says, "be anxious for nothing" but does that have to include waiting for the phone to ring so you can book a flight to go pick up your son? gak--i guess so. still, i have a lot to look forward to this weekend. david is gone on a men's retreat so i have the t.v. all to myself after the kids go to bed. friends from my bible study are having a party for me tonight in honor of zenabu. and carver has a big event tomorrow that we're all looking forward to. i'll try to keep busy not thinking about our quiet phone...