When we began this adoption a long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, I had expected it to go well. We've adopted twice before, and David and I felt like adoption pros. But how wrong I was. As things went from bad to worse, I began to rely on other people in adoption-land for help and support. As much as people in your life try to empathize with you when things are hard, there is a giant chasm of "you-just-don't-get-it" that I feel at their words. Two women who have also gone through a lot in their adoption journeys are Heather and Anne (see my links section). Heather's adoption saga just came to an end, and it was a nightmare. But each day I checked her blog--knowing that someday, something had to go right for her. And it did. She inspires me and has encouraged me every step of the way. If she was able to persevere, I can too. Anne and I don't know each other--we've never spoken, except to each leave a polite comment on each other's blogs. But I discovered Anne's blog last year and was so drawn to her and her family and their quest to bring Hayat home. Her wit and down-to-earth attitude left me inspired many times, and when she finally had Hayat in her arms, I actually cried!

So here I am, on the verge of either a mental breakdown or able to see this thing through. I will see it through. Even though Zenabu's case was denied--again--and I don't know when this will end, I can't give up. He's my son and he's part of our family. We ache for him. And if anyone is reading this blog and has also experienced some kind of setback in their adoption dreams, I hope I can somehow be an encouragement to you to keep going. Do not give up!


Anonymous said...

I'm behind you in the process. Still waiting for "the call" but have been lurking on your adoption agency's site. Yesterday I saw you post and followed to your blog. I am praying for you and your family. Sometimes it just sucks and this is one of those times. However, when you do have your child in your arms, and you will, o the rejoicing from so many people in celibration with you. here's my blog

Anne said...

Oh, Cathy, I'm so, so sorry.

Thinking of you.

keely said...

Cathy- I am so very sorry to read of this terrible setback. i am so sad about it! Josh and I are really thinking about you guys (all of you). It is so hard!

I know our adoption journeys aren't identical at all, but I remember the terrible struggle of thinking we would literally never get Salem home to us when we thought we were losing her. We felt so helpless, but oh the delight we have with her every day now. I will be praying for good news for you guys.


Life in Fitzville said...

A little over a year ago, I was in despair that I would never hold my son. He was very, very sick and it seemed that everything was working against us. Here is a look at my old blog...


And now, a little over a year later, my son is a thriving 10 year old boy, just eating up American culture (and sharing Haitian culture with the rest of us!)

No one who hasn't been there "gets it". You are right. I will pray for your family. Glad I stumbled on here.