Photos of Our Trip

At a bubbling mud pit...


One of the steaming pools at Yellowstone


At the porch at the Old Faithful Lodge--an incredible building. One of our nation's finest!


In the closet at a hotel in Jackson, WY. It was 37 degrees and snowing.


One of the "happy" moments in the car. Cute kids!

We're Home!

Here is what went right:
1. We're home

Here is what went wrong:
1. Dead battery
2. Snow (yes, snow!)
3. The dinosaur museum in Utah was closed (the only reason we went to Utah)
4. Hubby got a "hefty" ticket by the park ranger for riding on a trail that was CLEARLY MARKED closed.
5. The lake we camped at had been drained. No water to play in.

I'll stop there. It was one of those trips we will laugh and laugh about in 5 years. For now, I'll chalk it up to a learning experience. The kids had an OK time, I think. Yellowstone was incredible for the time we were there. I'm hoping for good sleep and a long, hot shower tonight. I'll post again tomorrow.

Trying to Be a Nice Mom!


I know the inspiration behind this children's book. It was a mom who went camping for a week with her family. We pull out of civilization tomorrow and head for the hills (Yellowstone to be exact). Goodbye warm feet, clean hands, and flushable toilets. Hello mud, burnt hot dogs, and spiders. The kids are BESIDE themselves with excitement--even the littlest Ethiopian, who has no idea what he's in for. He just jumps for joy like the rest of the under-10 crowd. I am not, ahem, what you would call "outdoorsy." I love hiking and biking and swimming and getting dirty... but then I like to come home to a hot shower and clean sheets. Not to mention a refrigerator and essential stuff like that. We will at various points along the way find Internet access, so if I can post I will. If I don't post in a week, please call a forest ranger and tell him/her to look for the grumpiest mama around (that would be me) and rescue me with hot coffee and chocolate. Farewell, world.

ps--thanks to everyone who commented and emailed me with playroom advice.

Begging for Help!



Time for all you lurkers to come out of hiding. I am asking for your advice. I CANNOT believe I am posting about my messy house the day after I posted that Zinabu once lived in a hut. I mean, I'm not trying to make the point that Americans are terrible consumers, but the irony is gross. Here's the deal.

I like a clean house!

Adding a 3rd child has tipped the scales, so to speak, in child paraphernalia. I don't even let my kids have that many toys. But 3 kids, with 15 toys each (some in sets like that BLASTED Littlest Pet Shop and the wretched Bionicles) and all of a sudden were at 45 toys in this house. I have a toy "library" where we keep some of their toys. It's in our creepy crawl space, so no one really goes in there. If the kids get tired of the few toys they have in their room, then they can exchange it for a toy in the library. So far that's worked. But I can't keep up. There is stuff overtaking my house. So my question is.....

Playroom or no playroom?

Right now, we have no playroom. Each kid has toys in their room, but we also have the wooden train set and puzzles and balls and Legos that belong to everyone and hang out in our basement. I'm seriously considering burning...er, I mean moving the toys to the spare bedroom/office and converting it into a fun playroom. We don't use it very much, and it would be SOOOOOO nice to have the toys in there. If you have a playroom and it works for you, please respond. Help me....

Lots of Thinking


This is a picture of a traditional hut in Ethiopia. Found in the countryside and farmland, it is the type of hut Zinabu was born in and live the first 3 years of his life. This is a general photo I found on the web, but we do have priceless photo and video of Zinabu's family hut and very small farm. I am trying to come to grips with the great divide between Ethiopia and Colorado. Geographically, culturally, economically, and emotionally. Zinabu is the one I was prepared for to grieve and balk against living with us. I am finding that I am going through a lot of emotional work...just coming to grips with the very different upbringing Zinabu had before coming to us. It's hard for me to explain but I just need to process. I know the exact day and time Carver and Lily were born. I know they were born in sanitized hospitals. I know they had to wait only a few days and weeks before coming to live with us. It is so different with Zinabu. I can only guess at what his life was like. I don't know when he was born. I don't know his exact age. I don't know what he did or liked or thought. And I probably will never know as these memories are going to be lost for him before he can express them to us. I knew this in my head before Zinabu arrived, but back then he was just a face in a photo. Now he is my son! And these questions haunt me. CHSFS, our agency, goes to extremes to find out as much as they can about your child's birth history. They made a DVD for us that shows Zinabu's birthplace and some living relatives were interviewed. It is everything to us that we have this, and it will be everything to Zinabu as he gets older and has questions for us that we can't explain. The DVD is very sad and hard for me to watch, but it gives a pictorial account of Zinabu's life during the in between of his first family and us.

Darfur

George W. decided to impose sanctions against Sudan to try to stop the violence in Darfur. The sanctions are against companies that supply petroleum and military vehicles. I don't know if that will make a dent to the thousands of people who have already died or are still suffering. "The people of Darfur are crying out for help,'' Bush said. "I promise this to the people of Darfur: The United States will not avert our eyes from a crisis that challenges the conscience of the world.'' In my opinion, the White House is too little too late in this one. (Like 4 years!) Besides, sanctions always hurt the poor, the children, the displaced, the people that have so little. I wish there were another way...

Here in comfy America, I have the privilege of cooking whatever I want for dinner, drive-thru Starbucks, fresh-cut flowers, 25 different brands of toothpaste, organic asparagus or conventional, free checking, and all kinds of other luxuries I take for granted on a moment by moment basis. It's sickening. What am I most thankful for? My kids. Their health and safety. Their love. There was a lot of giggling coming from Zinabu's bed tonight, and when I went to check on him, this is what I found.

They're sleeping together like 2 hot dogs in a bun right now. How blessed I am.

Medical Mysteries Revealed

It's official. I am no longer waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. It's been 3 weeks since Zinabu was contagious, and I am not sick. Whoopie! I'm in the clear. And what is the mysterious virus he suffered from, you ask? The MUMPS! Most of our close friends knew what was going on, but I didn't want to post the diagnosis on my blog until things settled down. Zinabu was exposed to the mumps in Ethiopia, but we are so thankful to God he did not get sick until he was safe at our home, and under excellent medical care. He was very, very ill. Turns out the mumps can hit you in different ways: very little, horrible, or somewhere in between. Zinabu was in the "horrible" category. That's why he was such a big hit at the hospital. The staff there doesn't see mumps anymore. It's also why we were quarantined and treated like lepers. I understand, but it was a rough week. David had his booster shots before travel, Carver and Lily are all caught up on their vaccinations, but my mom and I were the lone rebels. We had to track down if we'd received at least one mumps shot (yes) and a booster (er...no). One shot kinda-sorta-maybe protects you. You really need the booster for full protection. We think I had some kind of booster in 1982... but that was pre-Michael Jackson's Thriller! Who can remember anything way back then? So it is with much celebrating that I can post we are all mumps free!

We are moving up in the medical world this week. We march on toward stool samples. Yes, that's right. Zinabu makes 'em and I collect 'em. Time to find out for sure if there are any unwanted guests residing in his intestines. I don't know if they'll find parasites, but I do know they will find pounds of strawberries. I cannot keep enough produce in this house. Especially strawberries. Today I bought this:


The photo makes it look small, but it's actually over 4 pounds of strawberries. I can guarantee they will be gone in 48 hours. But look at this sweet face. Who could say no to it?

CAFFEINE!

This week's Cathy Award goes to caffeine. It is coursing through my veins right now! I'm trying to figure out a way to grind espresso beans and mix them in with Diet Coke. Zinabu slept a little better last night. Fortunately David is home today and I plan to whine and complain a lot about how tired I am. Hopefully he'll get so sick of me he'll beg me to take a nap! But I have to get through this morning, first.

The What-Were-They-Thinking Award was a no-contest this week. The woman at the grocery store (why is it always the grocery store???) who walked up to me and the kids and asked, "What mix are they? Are they siblings?" HELLO! My kids have ears! They can hear you! I didn't answer her question. I pretended to be really busy with the orange selection. Why is this a big deal? Because it sends the message to my children that they aren't and will never be siblings. This is the one question I wish would go away and die in a cave somewhere.

I also don't know what I was thinking yesterday when I thought I would dink around with my blog a little bit. Next thing I knew, little fingers snuck in a pushed some buttons to "help" me and my blog was in pieces. I think I've got it back together, but I learned not to even attempt any changes while my kids are around. I hope that very soon I can start putting video and photos up of David's trip to Ethiopia. I need to go through the video, but I'd love for you all to be able to see some of the highlights. Look for that to come sometime this week. Have a fun Saturday.

Tired!

I'd like to buy this sign and plant it in our front yard. I am very sleep deprived these days--so much that I'm going to submit my brain to science so they can study my ability to function at 2% instead of 100%. Sleep issues with a newly adopted toddler are to be expected. I'm just in a quandary about what to do. Fortunately, Zinabu isn't screaming all night long. He's just waking up every hour or so and needing me. I don't like co-sleeping because I never can sleep when I share a bed with a kid. (It's hard enough with a husband!) I do snuggle with Zinabu and I also have a chair next to his bed. I sit in the chair until he falls back asleep, but in another hour he's awake again and needing me. I hope this is a short phase. I also hope for a lot of wisdom about how to help him go back to sleep on his own. I can't keep this up forever. Any advice?

Just For Fun

Warning! Shameless Bragging Ahead...



A huge thanks to Mary at Owlhaven, who gave me the illustrious Golden Keyboard Award. She posted a question on her blog about how to promote friendship among your kids. I responded that I try to say "Yes" to my kids when they ask to do something that gets them working together. For my kids, that usually involves a huge mess, but I try to look past that and let them do something fun (like big mud holes and lemonade stands). Aren't we ALL too quick to say "No" to our kids just because it's easier??? How about you? How do you promote friendship among your kids?

I think the bigger question is who is Mary to be asking for advice/ideas? She has 10 children. Yes, let me repeat that. 10! Eight at home and 2 on the way from Ethiopia. Wow.

I'm so used to sticking my foot in my mouth that it's nice to know I said something worthwhile for a change.

A Day With The Animals...

The animals being the billions of children at the zoo today. When I started blogging, I wanted to refrain from negative posts about my kids (and husband). Still, there's "wants" and there's "real life." Today was the big field trip to the zoo, and both Carver and Lily's classes went. How fun, I thought. I'll help chaperon and bring Zinabu. We'll have a wonderful time together. (Snort!) Famous last words. Here in our city, this is the last week of school for most districts. Every elementary school in a 50 mile radius seemed to be at the zoo today. Check out the look on Lily's face in the photo. That's an accurate reflection of how we all felt. Zinabu threw no fewer than 5 tantrums today. Too overstimulated. Me too.

May we never speak of this day again. Ever.

Chatty

David has had to work mega hours this week, and weekend, and I've barely seen him. I've spoken to him for maybe 2 minutes a day, and it hardly counts as conversation. As for the other man in my life, Zinabu talks NON-STOP. He wakes up talking and doesn't stop until he closes his eyes. Yesterday we went to a playground and Zinabu heard a family speaking in Spanish. I swear his eyes lit up and he thought, "Hey! There's another language I can learn! MORE words!" He uses short phrases, and he speaks half Amharic, half English. But he says the same thing over and over and over again. When we're all together in the car or sitting eating dinner together, I will tell Zinabu something, and he repeats it to everyone else as if they didn't know what I said. He talks to himself, he talks to his toys, he follows me into the bathroom and talks. The only time he's quiet is when we're out in a public place with lots of people and he feels intimidated. Then he's very quiet and he clings to me like I'm a life raft. It's good though. He seems to know that David and I protect him and are his family, while others are not. That's a huge step in the bonding process.

Today we are skipping church (scandalous!) and enjoying a day together! It's sunny, warm, and a great day to dig in the garden. I'm a little behind this year with my seedlings, so I may have to suck it up and buy some vegetable plants and flowers. But I won't bore you with all those details. Have a wonderful Sunday!

C is for Cookie

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

The Helmet Is Replaced!


It appears Zinabu has found something that trumps the helmet. An old set of headphones from our pre-iPod days. Given the fact that we have few battles to pick with our new boy, headphones all day (and all night) is just plain funny!

I would love to go to bed right now with a pair of headphones...preferably playing some great book-on-tape I could listen to. How ironic that even AFTER you bring your child home from Ethiopia, the paperwork continues. The piles are growing, and each day I say, "I'll get to that tonight." Eh hem--it hasn't happened yet. Not to mention reams of thank-you notes and pictures to send to family. I'm swooning at the thought!

So Much News
I had a sweet, poignant Mother's Day. I was overwhelmed with gratitude that Zinabu is with us now. But given that there are 3 birth mothers attached to our lives, Mother's Day can be a little tricky, too. My children's pasts are so different...so unique...I feel blessed that Carver, Lily, and Zinabu call me mom. I waver at times about how I think/feel toward their birth families. And honestly, there are lots of times I don't think about their birth families at all. I am so connected to my kids, so MOM to them, it's easy to disengage from their biological roots. Zinabu's situation brings it all back--slamming me in the face. There is so much pain, so much unfairness, so much grief for one so young. It's hard to put into words...

Lots of people want to know how Zinabu is doing with the language issue. I confess it is more fun than frustrating. Remember, he's 3. Most 3 year olds lives revolve around themselves, so I understand what he's saying 80% of the time. I would guess I know 30 Amharic words by now, and Zinabu knows about 40 English words. He's doing amazing. This morning he learned the word "yummy" and he's said it often today. He uses the word "no" emphatically and with gusto. He loves to call us animal names. Today he called me a chicken and laughed his head off.

Zinabu is much more relaxed about his clothes, although he loves to change shirts several times a day. He spends a lot of time walking through the house wanting to know who owns what. He points to the scissors and I say, "Mommy's." He points to a toy and I say "Zinabu's." He's fine if I tell him something is Carver's or Lily's...he just wants to know the lay of the land. We are teaching him "Everyone's" so he knows there are lots of things around the house that we share. We've almost got this down. Today he was carrying a can of black beans and saying, "Every body's Zinabu's. " Like if he adds his name at the end it makes it a little more his.

Zinabu has very little interest in TV (which I think is great) but I feel like a little Sesame Street is a good thing for him at this age. We got a Cookie Monster DVD from the library, and I ask you... is there anything funnier than a 3 year old, Amharic-speaking boy belly laughing at Cookie Monster? Humor is universal, and Zinabu loves to laugh. He really amazes me.

My Children


Lily--just turned 6 and really enjoys mixing and matching separates. I cannot even pretend that I care what she wears. As long as she's happy...


Zinabu--3 and positively in love with his bike helmet. He won't take it off.

Carver--8 and a darling...except for the current haircut. He caught me in a moment of weakness when I was trying to say "yes" to my kids a lot (right after Zinabu arrived).

Who would I be without my kids? It's hard to say. They make me a better person, no doubt about it. I'm so proud to be their mom.

Happy Mother's Day to All You Wonder Women


I, for one, am awfully proud of myself for making it through a whole week as a mother of 3, and I only cried 28 times. Wow! Instead of Mother's Day, I feel like celebrating Referee Day, because I've been doing a lot of whistle blowing and calling of fouls among siblings. Funny... Zinabu is doing fantastic. It's the rest of us that are trying to adjust to him. Carver and Lily are justifiably put out by Zinabu being 3 and into everything. About half the time they love him, and the other half they are far, far away from him. I reassure them we all just need some time to get to know one another. And I reassure them it will be a whole lot easier when Zinabu is more fluent in English. Zinabu is eating us out of house and home. He eats as much as Lily and Carver put together. I don't know how he does it. His favorite food right now is oranges, and he would eat 5 a day if I let him. He's better about letting me take clothes/layers off of him if it gets too hot, but he's REALLY attached to his bike helmet and he wears it constantly. I promise to post a picture of him in it. I've been too busy being mom to really spend time taking pictures. The house is a MESS, but I am doing my best giving time and love to my kids...and for now that's the way it's supposed to be.

Language and Love

Zianbu is easing into our family quite well. Really, I'm not sugar-coating it. He is happy and HEALTHY. He throws an occasional tantrum (usually when he has to put on a seat belt) but what 3 year old doesn't? Mostly though he's glued to my side and ready to play. The tough part for me now (other than my aching back from holding him) is the language barrier. We can communicate well enough as far as potty, sleep, share, eat, etc. But I miss the conversations I could be having with him. Kids are so funny, I hate that it will be a few months before I can really "get" all that he's saying. The other day, one of Lily's friends said, "I can't wait till I'm 100. Because then I'll have a servant who will carry me around since my legs won't work." Is that a riot or what??? Those are the things I hate to miss with Zinabu. I'm trying to be patient as I continue in my role as "nanny" and ease slowly into "mom." I feel like a nanny because I care for his needs, but I'll feel more like a mom when I can talk to him about why ice cream is so yummy. It's hard to explain... I'm such an impatient person. It's hard to wait.

Just For Fun
This week I am supposed to be attending 2 luncheons, 1 soccer practice, a teacher appreciation event, writing the school newsletter, and other lame commitments. Instead, I will be doing a whole lot of gazing at my kids. A fair trade, really. Today Zinabu said something in Amharic, and although I didn't know what it was, I repeated it back to him. He cackled with laughter. Gee, so I guess my pronunciation needs some work, but he didn't have to be so cruel. He laughed for a good 10 minutes and kept giggling whenever he said the word again. This from the child that once again wore 2 shirts, a hat, and a fleece that he refused to take off even in the heat of the day. He loves his clothes.

A Very Brave Boy

Imagine being 3 years old. You're whisked away from your native language, food, and surroundings by a (nice) white man and taken to America. Once in America, you meet your new mom, brother, and sister. Your first 48 hours are a whirlwind as you take in new sights, sounds, and smells. And then you start to feel really, really sick. You're so sick, in fact, that you cannot eat or drink for 4 days. You go to the hospital, where people who do not speak your language stick needles in your arms, draw blood, hold you down when you're screaming, and stick tubes up your nose. Can you imagine that? I can not. I watched Zinabu go through it, and I still have a hard time grasping what that would feel like. Thankfully, all that is behind us now. Zinabu is a little weak and tired, but he's so happy! He ate a great breakfast and a great lunch, and right now he's taking a much deserved nap. He played hard in the sandbox most of the morning, and threw a bit of a fit when I told him it was time to go inside. How wonderful.

A huge hooray for all the nurses who took care of Zinabu. Most of them were outstanding. The bummer was they all wore special masks and gowns and gloves whenever they worked on him, so he could never see them smile. But they were gentle and supportive. They used Amharic when I gave them certain words to say, and that helped. A huge boo to the ER doctor who was a complete jerk--but I won't waste any time going there.

I consider our family very blessed. What Zinabu had was a serious virus that is completely preventable here in the United States. He was exposed in Ethiopia. We are thankful he did not get sick in Ethiopia, or on the plane with David. We try not to worry about "what almost happened." It's like a very bad dream that I still can't believe happened.

The good news is that Zinabu is very attached to us now. David and I took turns holding him 24/7, and Zinabu was comforted by this. He knows we love him and that we take care of him. Although I wish he had never been sick, his illness really speeded up the attachment process. Zinabu is a very happy, very sweet boy. He loves our family and he loves being here. The only times of day that are a little rough are nap and bedtime (an anxious time for lots of 3 year olds) and changing clothes. In the care center, all the clothes are communal. No child has anything of their own. So Zinabu, once dressed, is reluctant to take any clothes off. I HAD to give him a bath last night, and he really fought me. It wasn't until I figured out he didn't want to take off his new jacket that I was able to reassure him. I kept telling him "Zinabu's" as I pointed to his clothes. After a few seconds, he had a huge smile. We even spend time in his closet pointing out what is his and telling him over and over it belongs to him. Still, when I put him down for a nap today, he was wearing 2 shirts (he loves them both) and that jacket. So cute.

I look forward to all the fun posts I get to share in the future about Zinabu. It will be so nice when this past week is just a distant memory.

Lily coloring with Zinabu--who is wearing the infamous jacket.

WE ARE HOME!!!!

Thank you, all of you, for your amazing support and prayers. I attribute Zinabu's recovery to a miracle--there is no other explanation for it. He was discharged from the hospital today, and he is currently asleep in his bed...all snuggled in with no IV's or meds to worry about.

I will post tomorrow about this crazy week (I promise). For now, I need to get some sleep. I am breathing the first sighs of relief since Monday. It feels so good.

We're At The Hospital!
I took Zinabu to the hospital yesterday morning and they spent a few hours hydrating him and doing blood work. He has an infection so they admitted him. Last night was really tough, as I was pushing through my 3rd night with little sleep. At one point his fever was 104 and I was crying because I felt so helpless. There I was with my Amharic phrasebook, and there is no way to look up "You're in the hospital and they have to stick IVs in your arm and run crazy tests on you but it's OK." I speak to him in short, comforting phrases...and he loves when I hold him. But the pediatric ward is depressing, and I can't leave the room because he's so contagious. The nurses are very kind, but on the whole the staff treats Zinabu like he's E.T. Since he's from Africa and has not had vaccinations, they ran probably 30 tests on him. They even stuck a tube down his throat to suck up mucus from his lungs. I hate this! The endless hours of fevers and vomiting are not going away. Please pray for me--that I not get sick! Please pray for Zinabu to make a very speedy recovery and that he can come home soon. Blessings!

Brutal Honesty

I will probably delete this post in a few days, so that Zinabu never knows I wrote it, but the last 48 hours have been some of the hardest of my life. If I didn't post on April 30th about how wonderful everything was going, I wouldn't believe it. Zinabu continues to vomit and run a fever. We have antibiotics for him, but I was only able to give him his first dose and have it stay down this afternoon. Today he was so sick he began associating our house and family with his illness. He tried to get into our van and he started crying the most mournful cry you've ever heard. He wanted to go back to Ethiopia...and who can blame him? The language barrier is so difficult when he's sick. There is NOTHING I can do for him except be there. He is angry at us, but he also wants me to hold him all the time. He was so clingy I couldn't even put him down to clean up the vomit on our floor.

I have hardly spoken to Carver and Lily, as they stand off to the side and cover their ears at Zinabu's cries. I try to be there for them, but it's impossible. I miss them, and I don't know how to express that. I have to believe Zinabu will start feeling better at some point...that I will actually sleep and brush my teeth at some point...that he will forgive me at some point for forcing medicine into him.

This is the part of adoption that I want to be bold and talk about. Everyone around you is so happy at the arrival of your child, it's easy to forget that this is when the hard work starts. Let's get real--I love Zinabu, but right now I am a nurse with no pay or shift change. Zinabu and I have no relationship. He does not trust me. He does not even like me very much. Of course it will get better in time. But for right now, the brutal honesty is that I am at my wit's end.

A Sick Little Boy

Zinabu has been fighting a cold, but this morning he woke up with a high fever and vomiting. He is pretty ill, and it is breaking my heart that I can only speak to him in broken Amharic. He's a trooper, but if he can't keep fluids down we'll be at the hospital tonight. Please pray for him.

More Pictures

Why this picture? Because it shows Zinabu is capable of independent and creative play. One of my (small) fears was that Zinabu wouldn't know how to play on his own or play creatively. He squashed that fear with his cute little foot right away! He's my kind of kid: plays with sand, digs in rocks, collects sticks, draws with chalk, and on and on. We had a blast watching him put sticks in the sand in his truck.



Bubbles were a big hit today. Of course he insisted on holding the bubble container so it was completely dumped out on his shoes in less than 2 minutes. He loves our backyard and the freedom to play and run and just be a kid. Life at the care center was very structured and there was not much room (or grass) to run around. Zinabu's muscles are actually a little soft from lack of exercise. We'll get him all buff in a couple of months.


A picture of a VERY happy boy eating shiro and injera. Shiro is ground chickpeas, and you add spices and cook it up. I put some chicken in it too, since the word on the street is that Zinabu loves meat (sigh--another meat eater!). When I pulled out the injera for him, he did a happy dance and shouted for joy. I was so glad I could provide a familiar meal for him, given that his entire life has been turned upside down. He has a hearty appetite. You can see him eating as a traditional Ethiopian with his hands. He's very adept at folding his injera up and scooping the shiro up. He can use a fork at mealtimes, but we don't care right now. Eating with his fingers feels "right" so we are happy to let him go at it. What's funny is that I should have taken a picture of Carver and Lily with their jaws touching the floor! They could not believe what Zinabu was eating.

As for me, I am tired but content. Today was a turning point for me, and I was surprised to have it come so quickly. I look at Zinabu and I can tell you that I love him fiercely. I grieve a little bit that Lily and Carver have to share me (sounds weird but it's how it feels)...that going from 2 to 3 kids spreads me thin. Still, I know this is right. He is ours.

It's All About Yellow

Yellow is it! Zinabu loves yellow. Our first full day together was a blast, and today will be another fun one. It's 80 degrees, so I had to convince Zinabu that the yellow sweatshirt was not going to work today. I talked him into a t-shirt with a yellow skateboard on it. I'm going to need to make run to Target at some point for more yellow t-shirts.

Zinabu is doing incredible! He worships Daddy and Carver, although he will make time for Lily and me. He's happy, excited, energetic, and playful. The only "issue" so far is typical orphanage behavior of grabbing toys and not wanting to share. He's almost on Colorado time. He woke up at 3 am again, but he stayed in bed. I snuggled with him, but he stayed quiet and eventually went back to sleep. He's a pretty good eater. He's used to eating everything with his hands, so we're working on using a fork. Funny, though, how he spears huge portions of food and shoves it in his mouth.

I have very few pictures. Zinabu will not hold still...and if I get a photo of him he's usually reaching for the camera and his face looks out of proportion. Also, he's still fighting a runny nose and I don't want to post pictures of his snot. Call me vain, but I'm being firm on this. I will try to get more pictures today and post again tonight.

Playing with chalk...

He's Here!

A quick post to let you know that Zinabu is in Colorado and doing a great job at destroying our house. Typical 3-year-old behavior, so we believe he's developmentally on target! All of David and Zinabu's flights (though long) went well, but Zinabu was so sleep deprived and messed up from the time change, he was too tired to give me anything other than a polite smile when we met. He fell asleep in the car halfway home, and never woke up! We think by tomorrow he'll be on US time. He awoke at 3am this morning and enjoyed a long bath. We played with the bath toys and blew bubbles at each other. I liked that he had some alone time with me.

Zinabu is a very happy child and will play and chat with anyone. The benefit of that is he's joyful and easy going. The downside is I think it will take a few weeks before he grasps that we are his family and not just another care center. All in due time. It also will take me awhile to "feel" like his mom and not just a caregiver. Again, all in due time.

I will TRY to post some pictures tonight. He's a darling, but he has a nasty cold and an unattractive slimy nose. Right now he's not looking his best. Have a wonderful day! We sure will.

How surreal to see the countdown clock on my blog with just hours left. I am surprisingly calm (for me, people, this is a big deal) and I am getting ready to put the kids to bed. The house is clean. The pantry is stocked. The laundry is done. We're ready.

Right now David and Diana and Zinabu are (hopefully) sleeping and are about to land in Rome to refuel. They don't get off the plane--they just keep flying to Washington, D.C. When I wake up in the morning, I'll do a few last minute things--like make dinner so that when we return from Denver all tired and hungry, it will be ready. I plan to leave our house around noon so we can stop at an Ethiopian food market and pick up some fresh injera and some cooking spices. Then we'll zig zag on over to the airport and TRY to stay calm while we wait for this BOY to join our family. When I was at the grocery store today I wanted to tell each and every person in the aisles, "Guess what? My son is coming home tomorrow!!!" I restrained myself, but it was hard.

I thought of something this week that is interesting. As of tomorrow, I will be a minority in my family. There will be three children with brown skin, and two adults with white skin. I don't think I can express how humbled I am by the privilege of raising my children. This family we've created through adoption has blessed me beyond all my wildest dreams. I no longer say, "We're done adopting" because I said that before and look what's happening tomorrow. I don't know if we'll adopt more children. Maybe yes, maybe no. But as our family grows and settles even deeper into the "trans racial" category, I feel that we represent so much hope, so much love, and so much delight.

I will TRY to post some pictures of Zinabu tomorrow night, but no guarantees. Even when he falls asleep, I doubt I will be able to leave his side even for a second. I'll post again when I can. Thanks for all your support.

A Bit Of A Blow (And A Blow-Out!)

I let David know this morning that the school district had called and wanted to get in touch with him. He called the woman who had interviewed him, only to find out he did not get the position. (Gee--do you think having to interview on a pay phone in Rome might have affected it?) We are both a little shocked and David is very discouraged. To make a long story short, he had been planning and working toward this new job for the last 2 years. We firmly believe God must have something else in store for him, we just don't know what. I can tell you he's not going to stay in his current job much longer. Too stressful. He's ready to move on. So we'll see where this goes.

David gave a great update on our little guy. Zinabu is nearly impossible to settle down at night and at nap time, but once he finally lies still, he is asleep in about 20 seconds. He slept through the night and was happy to be with his Dad. Most children in Ethiopia are sharing their intestines with active parasites. I'll spare you the details, but David informed me that Zinabu is definitely fighting some poop bugs. I've already made a doctor's appointment for Zinabu for next Wednesday, and I expect our doctor will prescribe parasite meds right away.

Tomorrow will be the house cleaning festival of the century. I knew I would need something to keep me busy all day Friday, so I've purposely let the house get messy. All will be put back in order by Friday night. I can go to sleep (yeah, right...) and wake up Saturday ready to meet my son at the airport. I can not believe the day is almost here.

We Have A Winner!

For no other reason except that it made me laugh out loud... this week's Cathy Award goes to this photo. Enjoy.

A Voice!

I am one of those freaks that is somewhat anti-cell phone and doesn't feel the need to have one. But I tell you, today I am singing the praises of technology because I just spoke with Zinabu on the phone. David called me (on our $4.99 a minute) international phone, and Zinabu is with him now at the guest house. David has full custody and the boys are together in the room. All through our brief conversation, I could hear Zinabu in the background babbling like a normal 3 year old boy. In fact, he was talking so fast, so loud, and so excitedly David and I were laughing till tears were running down our faces. Such joy! David put the phone up to Zinabu's ear and I said, "Selam, Zinabu! Mommy!" I heard him scream, "MOMMY."

Okay, I am ready for them to come home now.

Signed, Sealed, Delivered--He's Ours!

Yesterday was Embassy Day in Addis. I said in an earlier post I wouldn't sleep well until David made it through the Embassy with our paperwork and we got the stamp of approval. For all my stress and paper-pushing, David said it took 2 minutes for the Embassy employee to look everything over and say these wonderful words...

"Congratulations. He's yours."

Another Update

The following is from an email from David:

"I spent the morning in school with Zinabu. He is such a happy, healthy boy. Diana and I walked to the school where he spends each morning. We found him in a small room, sitting on cushions with 25 other three-year-olds. They were listening and repeating in Amharic. They were going to release him to me, but I asked if I could watch. So Diana and I spent the next hour watching the lesson. They sang three songs that I recognized:

My God Is So Big
God Is So Good
This Is The Day

He knows all the words! He is a quiet talker, unless he is talking to or at one of his friends. We will sing these songs often to him for familiarity. I held him any time he wasn’t in a formal lesson. This was his choice, not mine. He is very possessive of me which I encourage. When I set him down to go to his assigned seat I make sure that I never hold any other kid; even though many are clamoring. I want him to know that I am only here for him. He has told many of his classmates: Ababa! Ababa! (prounounced: Ah buh buh, which means "Dad").

The morning session was all in Amharic, except for the songs listed above. After a snack and recess---I held him the entire time---he had English instruction. He can recognize the entire alphabet with an assigned picture. I know this because he was called to the front of the class to use the big stick to point to each and call it out while the class echoed him. This was repeated many times. The class then colored an O and an orange on a sheet of paper. Our boy was the first to complete the assignment! He colors in the lines and uses his right hand.

He can count to ten and knows many parts of the body. Oh yeah, his ears are ticklish!"

I just got off the phone with David and I hardly know what to write. We had a rushed conversation because it was so expensive for him to call, but he was able to tell me a lot. David and Diana flew in safely, but they were completely unprepared for the overwhelming poverty everywhere. It was a very, very hard ride from the airport to the guest house. As soon as they arrived, they were thrust into meetings. Granted, David and Diana arrived a day late but there was no time for them to catch their breath. Because the day was so busy, David only had about 15 minutes with Zenabu. But I can tell you it was glorious! David arrived at the care center and was taken to the "3 year old" room (that's how he described it). All the children began chanting "Zinabu, Zinabu, Zinabu..." Zinabu was shy for 1.5 seconds, then ran into David's arms, where the boys wrestled and rolled around like puppies for a while. David said he is beyond cute. Just adorable. Thank you, Lord, that this day has finally come!

Oh--did you notice the spelling in Zinabu's name now? We received his birth certificate, and it's officially Zinabu.

A New Feature!

Zenabu's arrival is fast approaching, and in a few weeks all this "As the World Turns" drama will come to a close. I thought it would be fun to start giving the "Cathy Award" to certain people/places/products that make me happy or somehow make my life easier. And when something makes me fume, it/they will receive the "What Were They Thinking?" award. So why not start right now?

This week's "Cathy Award" goes to (drum roll):


Flat Earth chips. We eat the cheddar flavored crisps and I love them. Best of all, my kids love them. These chips actually give you a half serving of fruits or vegetables for every 12 chips. Someone was thinking when they came up with these beauties. Probably a cool parent that was looking for a way to get more veggies into their kids' bloodstream.

Unfortunately, the "What Were They Thinking" Award has to go to one of my fave mags:



This month's edition has an article about infertility and how different families handled it. A few of the families chose to adopt, but imagine my horror when the writer used such medieval terms like, "they knew they couldn't have children of their own" and "she might be their only natural child." Are you kidding me? Of course, it took me 2 seconds to send a letter to the editor to complain. When will we move past these dumb terms? Shame on you, Real Simple.

In other news, I continue to cook as little as possible (how many grilled cheese sandwiches do you think we can eat?) and just enjoy Carver and Lily. I may not post again until I hear from David on Saturday--after he's met Zenabu. Stay tuned.

David called from Rome today. They've been doing as much as they can on foot, and are blown away by the beauty and history of one of the greatest cities in the world. I'm so happy David and his sister are having this experience. Unfortunately, it's going to be interrupted by another job interview. Before David left, the Assoc. Superintendent of our school district assured him they would not do the second round of job interviews until after he got back. David was smart and gave them all his info. anyway, but again and again he was told, "We'll talk to you when you get back." So you can understand my anger when the school district called yesterday morning to tell me to tell David they would complete the second interview on Friday at 3pm Rome time. After getting all the information, I said (insert snide, dripping-with-sarcasm voice) "I'll do my best to get in touch with him." So poor David, who will already be checked out of his hotel and not yet at the airport, will have his HUGE job interview at a payphone somewhere in Rome. I hope this makes for a funny story someday, but right now I'm too bent out of shape.

On another note, I am daring to believe warm weather is really right around the corner and I've changed my blog color to be a little more "spring-y." Colorado still gets snow well into May, but we can also have 90 degree days in May. But I'd like to hope flip-flop/shorts/no-more-coat weather is on its way.

What Happens When?

I thought I'd let you know what David's week is going to look like. I realized I haven't yet posted any kind of timeline/calendar of events for David's time in Ethiopia. Here we go...
Friday the 20th, David and Diana leave Rome very late at night and arrive in Addis on Saturday morning.
Saturday the 21st, David and Diana get settled into our agency's guest house and have a de-briefing with agency staff about Zenabu. This is when they will receive a packet of information all about Zenabu--current medicals, temperment, personality, likes and dislikes, and photos. It helps prepare David. The rest of Saturday, David will be able to be with Zenabu at the care center. I can't WAIT.
Sunday the 22nd. David and Diana are taking a round-trip drive to the area Zenabu lived before he was relinquished. They will have the opportunity to get out of Addis, see the landscape where Zenabu lived, and possibly meet any living birth relatives (should they choose to show up).
Monday the 23rd. Play with Zenabu, shopping, whatever.
Tuesday the 24th. Embassy day. You go to the embassy and submit your paperwork for a visa for your child to enter the US. (I don't think I'll sleep very well until I know this is over and done with and the paperwork is all good). It doesn't take very long, so David and Zenabu and Diana will still have lots of time to do other things.
Wednesday the 25th. This is the day David will probably take full custody of Zenabu, and Zenabu can stay with David at the guest house.
Thursday and Friday, the 26th and 27th. More shopping, sightseeing, playing, napping, a farewell ceremony for Zenabu.
Friday the 27th, they leave Addis VERY LATE at night and fly straight through to Washington D.C. They transfer to Denver, where I will be standing in a puddle of tears, waiting for my son to join our family.
Hope this helps...

Up, Up, and Away...

And they're off! I just got back from the round trip drive to Denver International Airport. Getting up at 4 am just isn't my cup of tea anymore. It's downright frightening. It's raining today, but I think flights are flying in and out all right. It was hard saying good-bye to David. 12 days is a long time to be apart from him--especially during such an important time in our lives. We stayed up talking last night, just marveling at the crossroads we are at as a family. Miraculous!

Packing turned out to be a lot harder than anyone could imagine. You have to pack what you need, pack what you want, and then pack in case all of what you need and want gets lost somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean. We also tried to cram last minute toys and donations for the kids at the care center in Addis. If we exceeded the weight limit on our luggage, I guess that's David's problem now.

As I write this, David should be just finishing up the job interview the school district so stupidly scheduled for today. I know he just wanted to get it over and done with so he could look forward to his trip. I'm praying it went well for him, but mostly praying for safe travel and fun in Rome with his sister. Pray for me too! I now enter the realm of "single mom" until David returns. I have such a respect for the women in the world that raise their children on their own. They have the toughest jobs, hands down. At least I know my single status is temporary. Another temporary situation is a mom to 2. In 12 days, I'm a mom to 3--one of which will not speak a lick of English.

Life is amazing.

The Severity of the Situation

This is the man who is getting on a plane in about 14 hours to fly across the world and pick up our son. He is taking our digital camera (with good reason) but I realized I won't have any current photos to post for a while. As I was scrolling through our picture archives, I found this gem. It's from our trip to Disneyland last summer. NOTE: He is not riding with a child. I believe he went "one more time" to try to top his high score. A toast...to fun husbands!

Happy (early) Birthday, Lily


Lily's birthday is May 1. But that's 3 days after David returns home with Zenabu. We didn't want the "big 6" to get lost in the shuffle, so we had a surprise party for the little princess today. Just family, and it was extra special because Aunt Diana flew in last night. I can't believe Lily is almost 6. How did that happen? Here's a picture of her at about 9 months old.

What a sweetie.

We continue to press on here at Adoption Command Central. The paperwork has reached critical mass (as in...there's no more putting it off. I have to get it done). It's not that there's soooo much of it (there's just a lot) but it's that it has to be done exactly right. I feel that given my inability to make good pizza dough from scratch, remember to apply sunscreen all the time, and return my library books before getting fined---the odds are not in my favor that I'll finish this paperwork error free. Prayers, please.

Crunch Time!

Do you remember this scene from Star Wars? They're in the big trash compactor and the walls are closing in on them. Hmmm. I can relate. The walls are definitely closing in on this family. Just 3 days until David leaves, and we've been thrown for a few loops. There is a job that David has been waiting a couple of years for, and the woman currently in the position is retiring. Back in February, the school district posted the job--meaning you could send in an application. So David did. The school district has had 15 weeks to get their act together and start the interviews, but they kept putting it off. Wouldn't you know, David gets a call on Thursday telling him they'll be starting the first round of interviews on Tuesday. As in Tuesday, the day he leaves!

Can he do it? Yes, with a lot of juggling. The interview is scheduled for 8:30 am, so he will have to rent a conference room at Denver Int'l. Airport and do it over the phone. We will probably have to leave our house at 4:00 am on Tuesday to drive the hour+ to the airport, make sure he gets through int'l. security, and he can get to this conference room to use a phone. He doesn't want to use a cell phone for fear of getting cut off or a bad connection. Oh, and it gets better. If he makes it through the first round of interviews (which he will), the next round will be on Friday--when David is already checked out of his hotel in Rome and sitting at the Rome airport. We're trying to figure out the time difference and getting through security in Rome so he can do the interview, but the phone is a kicker. Our international cell phone charges $4.99 a minute, and this second interview will probably be a good 45 minutes. We're looking into phone cards, anything.

So our weekend has been stolen from us. Our last few days together as a family of 4 were pulled out from under us, so to speak. David is a ball of stress, and I am trying to just stay out of his way. This job situation steals the attention we had wanted to give to the trip and to the adoption. The timing could not be worse. David has a lot to prepare for with this interview. And it's not like anyone in HR for the school district cares that he's leaving the country. It doesn't matter if you're having your leg amputated, they schedule the interview, you figure out how to get there.

We are watching the weather closely, too. Another big storm is scheduled for Monday/into Tuesday. I think we have to be completely ready to leave this house--packed and paperwork ready--by Monday morning in case I need to drive David and Diana up to Denver a day early. Big storms here mean they close the highway.

I'll keep you posted.

Busy...

That's what it is right now. Just plain busy. I hate busy. I really dislike having a to-do list that's a mile long. It freaks me out. David's long-time best buddy happens to be in town this week. We're scheduled for a blizzard on Friday. Diana comes Saturday. We are celebrating Lily's birthday on Sunday (since her birthday is May 1--four days after Zenabu arrives). Packing. Paperwork. Notarizing documents.

Gotta run...I can feel the tremors coming on.

What Is In Your Pantry?


I was talking with my sister-in-law tonight about how the price of groceries seems to keep going up and up. Whether it's the cost of gasoline or just basic inflation--I don't know--but I sure felt like it was a real problem.

And yet...

And yet tonight in Ethiopia a mother has no food in her pantry to feed her children. I know the world still has the images of famine-starved African children in their minds when they think of a country like Ethiopia. Yes, there was a famine. But it's so much more than that, too. Every day mothers and fathers die to preventable diseases like typhoid and malaria, or they succumb to AIDS. When a parent dies, the other parent is left carrying the load of work and childcare and basic survival, and the downward spiral begins. There just isn't enough money to buy enough food or medicine or clean water to allow young children to live. There just isn't. The vicious cycle of extreme poverty sucks the life out of the next generation.

I don't think the solution is for the world to adopt all the orphans in Africa. I believe a better solution is to end extreme poverty and help rebuild the amazing countries in Africa to be self-sufficient and family strong. Adoption makes a difference in the life of one child, but it will not stop the hemorrhaging that is happening in places like Ethiopia. 6,500 Africans die EVERY day to PREVENTABLE, TREATABLE diseases. I remember when the tsunami hit and Americans were awestruck at the sheer number of reported deaths. And that happens every week in Africa.

Please, if nothing else, please go to your pantry right now and give thanks for the food you have. Give thanks that you will not be faced with the dilemma of watching your children starve.

Hurry home, Zenabu.

Checklist

1. Finished taxes
2. Purchased airline tickets to Ethiopia
3. Finished editing job
4. Started paperwork for Zenabu's visa for the U.S.A.
5. Actually finished a movie with David (we are slowly working our way through Academy Award winners...but we're still back in 2005)

I could have posted a list of everything that didn't get done, but there's not enough room. We're inching our way forward, though, to the big trip. Some details just can't be worked on until a day or two before David leaves. This week should be crazy--but good crazy. Each day gets us closer to Zenabu. In fact, 21 days from today I will be holding him in my arms. Amazing.

Happy Easter. He is Risen!

What Is Brave?


Is it Lily leaving the house dressed like this? Is it me letting Lily leave the house like this? I would like to invent a universal sign that mothers can use to communicate to one another that our child dressed themself that morning. Why would I pick striped tights, a black leotard, and pink crocs for Lily when she has so many other outfits? But still...what a combination!

I confess I am surprised that the number one question I get asked is "Will you keep his name?" The number one question for a while had been "Will he come with a name?" which I highly resented because it made it sound like our son was a product. I will never forget the first time I heard Zenabu's name. Lindsay had called me with our referral and she said, "His name is Zenabu and he's 3 years old." It took me about 24 hours to get used to this unusual but beautiful name (which means rain) and since then I've been smitten. There was much discussion in our house about whether or not to keep his Ethiopian name or change it or shorten it. David's middle name is Jon, so we settled on Jon Zenabu. It flows well and would be easy to transition into. But there's one problem...

I can't do it. I cannot call our son anything other than Zenabu. So who knows what we'll do. Maybe everyone else will call our son Jon, but I will be the holdout for Zenabu. Maybe we'll call him J.Z. Maybe Zenabu will not allow anyone to call him Jon and he will decide for us. After all, it's his name. I guess we will wait and see.

Aaahhhhhh!


God has an unbelieveable sense of humor. Earlier last week I was praying for lots of distractions. So I took on some freelance projects, volunteered for some things at my kids' school, and let the house go to pot. Then out of the blue we get the call that we can travel, so suddenly I am in warp speed trying to do a million things at once. I have way too much on my plate right now. My editing job is due on Wednesday, and let's just sayI'll probably be sacrificing a lot of sleep to get it done. Not to mention packing, paperwork, last minute everything, and just general upkeep with an already disheveled house. Mama mia!