Here's How It All Went Down


*zinabu is, as usual, talking in this photo.

It took them long enough, but in the end they chose David to be the principal. He went through an unbelievable amount of interviews. Hours and hours worth. With the students. With the parents. With the staff. With the executives of the district. With human resources. With the superintendent. It almost makes your head hurt. The school district we live in was actually hiring principals for two different high schools, but David applied only for the school he currently works at. He didn't want to be a principal. He wanted to be a principal at the school he loves and is already invested in. So when he finished his final interview with the superintendent and associate superintendent (last Wednesday), they told him they'd have a decision made by Friday (8 days ago). Thursday came and went. Friday came and went. The weekend came and went. We were frantic because we assumed the worst: they offered the job to another candidate and would give David the bad news when it was all final. Monday came and went. Tuesday... and we were having heart palpitations and were becoming increasingly angry. Did they not know what they were putting our family through? Didn't they know we were in a giant information void. And then the word got out that the superintendent didn't like any of the candidates that had applied for the other high school and they were going to re post that position and start all over. David freaked. Was the same true for his school? And then, finally, he got a phone call. Could he meet with the superintendent one more time? We truly and honestly believed that the superintendent was going to tell him to apply for the other school. We assumed that David would get a pat on the back and "be encouraged" to keep trying. So David went into that meeting hoping for the best but expecting the worst. The superintendent asked David a few more questions, and then told David that he knew all along he wanted to offer him the job of principal at his school. The job was his. David was the best candidate. David was phenomenal. He was utterly impressed and confident in David. It just took longer to let David know because of all the work they were doing with the position at the other high school.

It was a great day!

Although we would have loved to have known all this last week, we're thrilled that the decision has been made, the school board voted and approved David last night, and it is now public knowledge. Thanks so much, everyone, for your comments, emails, thoughts, and prayers. Not knowing our future was rough. Not knowing if David would suffer a blowing disappointment was rougher. And the thought of the person I love most in this world not getting what he so desperately wanted and was made for was hard to even fathom.

Just to add some drama to our otherwise boring week (ha!) Zinabu came down with a wicked stomach flu yesterday. The second time in two weeks. It was bad. My poor, poor baby. All I can do is hope that it was an isolated case and no one else comes down with it before we leave for California in 48 hours. Also, there is a huge blizzard coming, and we're trying to decide if we get to a hotel by the airport the night before our flight--just in case.

We lead such quiet lives.

Because the job David applied for is a public position, I can give you all the glorious details on Thursday. After it is made public.

Nothing

If I knew anything, I would have told you by now. David is being much more of a grown-up about this than moi. And I think I know who invented the flame-thrower. A woman whose husband was waiting for a call about a job. Surely she used it to burn down the office of the lazy bum who should have called her husband after 5 days.

Still waiting...

Neither one of us slept last night.

The longer it takes the more likely the news is not good.

We're going crazy.

How cute is this picture? Lily had just turned 4. She looks so tiny! This was our trip to Disneyland 4 years ago. And we drove. Do you know there is nothing (and I am not exaggerating) between where we live and Los Angeles? We drove through 2 days of desert. We've been saving a long time for this next trip so that we could fly, and Zinabu is fairly happy that he finally gets to go to California, see the Pacific Ocean, run in the sand, go to Disneyland, etc. You know me and flying, right? I won't bore you with my phobias, but rest assured I am stocked up on drugs so that I can get on the plane in 8 days. I told the kids, "Flying makes me sleepy so I may not be able to talk much on the plane." That's just a nice way of saying, "Mommy will be flying high in more ways than you can imagine."

We expect to hear something about David's job today or tomorrow. We will both be happy when this is over. The interview process has been grueling. He's exhausted from the process, and I'm exhausted from everything. Thanks for all your sweet support. I'll post as soon as I know something.

As of Today:

David has his FINAL interview.

10 more days till we leave for California.

I am excruciatingly tired of winter.

Zinabu is growing teeth like a shark. His permanent teeth are growing in behind his baby teeth. Baby teeth are not falling out and this just means more gigantic orthodontist bills for David and me.

I need to do our taxes but will probably put it off another week.

I need to start running again. I am woefully out of shape.

How about you?

Letters of Recommendation

Our world (or should I say, David's world) has been a whirlwind of resumes, letters of recommendation, and interviews. The principal of his school is retiring and he is applying for the position. Not that I'm biased at all, but I think he'd be perfect for the job. A great leader, super intelligent, loves teenagers, and solid believer in public education. He has made it to the final round of interviews and will meet with the superintendent sometime this week. We'd love to hear one way or another if he got the job by the end of this week, but that may be wishful thinking on our part. It could take another week before a decision is made. And if he doesn't get the job, I can tell you with all honesty that he will be content as the Assistant Principal and will still love what he does.

But those letters of recommendation... David deserves every one of them and I am so proud of him. But let me just say that if you're in a career or applying for a job and you get the chance to gather letters where people go on and on about how great you are, consider yourself blessed. There's nothing like that for parenting. In fact, most of the feedback I get is in the way of whining when I say "No" or tears when I tell them we won't buy a giraffe. Parenting does not come with accolades, pats on the back, praise, or recognition. People do not sit down and write letters about your skills, your management, your successes, and your triumphs. Most days parents are lucky to feel like they're on the ball, let alone hear about it.

But all that changed last night. Did you see? Did you watch her? Sandra Bullock won best actress for The Blind Side. And who did she dedicate her Oscar to? "...The moms that take care of the babies and the children no matter where they come from. Those moms and parents never get thanked."

Well. I can't ask for more than that. I love her.

If I didn't own a camera, I sometimes wouldn't believe it myself.

A note Lily wrote to Zinabu. Apparently, there are lots of animals in danger.

Keeping It Real


I admit. There are times when I think, "I'm a good mom." It's rare, but it happens. Like the fact that I make my kids read and I've instilled in them the love of a good story. The thrill of turning the page. The desire to sneak books into bed and use a flashlight to get five more minutes. I was a literature major in college and my career is to get paid to read. I love all things books and print. (True fact: I love reading the dictionary.) So seeing Carver not getting ready for school but trying to finish his current novel just about puts me over the moon with pride.

Harder to admit is the times I am a real jerk. And it happens. For example, I was at the hoity-toity gourmet grocery store for their sale on eggplant and there was a young mom there. She had her perfect two-year old in the cart. He was chewing on organic broccoli. She was dressed just way too adorable for grocery shopping. She had cute shoes and fancy earrings. I had scuffed flats and bleach-stained jeans. It was hard not to compare myself to her. And then, as I was bagging my eggplant, another person approached the cute mom and asked her, "Where do you get your hair cut? It's so beautiful."

Ahem.

So I went to pay for my eggplant and the line was long and after a few minutes there was a terrible high-pitched wail from somewhere in the middle of the store. It continued for a few minutes, increasing in octaves. "Gee," I thought. "Someone sure is throwing a fit." The wailing got louder and who should round the corner? Cute mom with broccoli-eating kid. And what was my response? "HA!" I actually took pleasure in her child's tantrum.


Therefore, I am a jerk.

This and That
I am beginning to feel really sorry for myself. Not only is it possible to get the same stomach flu twice (oh yes it is--living proof right here) but my 6 year old has eyelashes to die for. What 6 year old boy needs eyelashes as thick and long as Zinabu's? Can I somehow harvest them? Pluck them out in his sleep? What a waste of beautiful eye fringe.


The dog gets to spend his days lounging in the sun and making mopey eyes at me. I've decided that's what I want to be when I grow up. A dog. A dog who gets to sleep in sun patches and make mopey eyes at people.

Meanwhile, February is over and gone and my Acts of Kindness trickled down to a pathetic drip. There was no kindness to be found while leaning over a toilet, losing 24 hours worth of dietary sustenance. Or the next day. Or the next. But other than the horrible digestive parasite, I enjoyed challenging myself to being more "aware" of being kind. For example, there were three separate occasions where I found myself grabbing runaway grocery carts in the parking lot and pushing them to the place where you're supposed to leave your carts. I can only imagine how annoying it must be for the cart person to go out to the parking lot on any given day and find that their job is 6,000 times more difficult because all the shoppers are too dang lazy to put their carts away. Another kind act I performed was going through the drive-thru at Starbucks and paying for the person behind me. That was the most fun. Just randomly making someone's day. Try it sometime. You'll like it.

I was hoping to have a new challenge for the month of March, but until I get my body back to "food in, food stays in" I'm not setting the bar too high.

Worst Stomach Flu Ever vs. Us

Me
David
My Mom
Zinabu
Carver
Lily

We're losing. Big time. Are you sick of reading about our stomach flu? Me too. And I'm sick of living it. I'll be thrilled when we move beyond a diet of bland rice and bananas and don't look at mixing bowls as puke-catchers anymore. We are thankful that this hit us now as opposed to three weeks from now, when we're flying to California for a family vacation. Not to mention this is one of the biggest weeks ever in David's job. Ever. More on that later. But for now, we are waiting for Lily and Carver to come down with the Famous Flu of 2010, and buying more bananas.

While I'm glad the kids didn't get sick, it hardly seems fair that their energy levels remain the same. Well, Zinabu's is above average, it that's even possible!

And the good news of the day? I ate rice.

I guess trying to eat today was a little presumptuous.

Dear Stomach Flu,

Thank you so much for visiting our home. Really! When I think of all the families you could have stayed with, I feel so special that you chose us. I had no idea you could be such a party bug! Up all night, non-stop action. Whew. I also want to thank you for allowing me to spend so much time with the toilet in the laundry room. I guess I had always neglected it in the past, but when you kept me up all night I was able to really bond with that particular porcelain object. Somehow you knew it was feeling left out. You're one hard-core animal! I was afraid you'd send me to the hospital after all your influence. And thanks, also, for making sure David got in on all the action. I love that you made sure he was a part of your plans.

Your host,
Cathy

Strange, but the people who seem to best appreciate my role in life is Procter and Gamble. I'm glad someone understands.

This is what you get when you make him take Mucinex. It's an instant reaction and lasts a good 20 seconds. I know the stuff tastes nasty, but he needs it. He sounds like he has things growing in his lungs. He has no fever, no lack of energy (or verbal skills--still talking as much as ever!) but when he coughs he sounds like he should be hospitalized. He was at school yesterday and began coughing so hard he threw up. He was fascinated by the experience... he got to go to the sick room in the office and "see their microwave AND the crossing guard orange vests."


Okee dokee. He's easily entertained.


So he's staying home today and I know he'll be perfectly fine but I'll keep pouring Mucinex down his gullet and keep smiling at his reaction!

Recently Overheard

Zinabu: Mom, guess what? Carver's going to buy me a dictionary if I don't bug him for two weeks!!!

Ski Trip
With a 3 day weekend on our hands, we drove to the slopes for a ski fiesta. It IS possible to ski on a budget, and this was the magic year for us. Zinabu can get a lift ticket for free (kids 6 and under--and this included a horribly awkward moment where the woman at the ticket counter asked us what year Z was born, and David and I froze. Like deer in the headlights. Cause when put on the spot we had no freakin' idea when he was born and we looked like the worst parents--or kidnappers, for all she knew--in the world.), and Carver can get a lift ticket for free (Colorado 5th graders ski free all year). Lily and David got coupon discounts. I was completely free because I stood at the bottom and made sure no one killed themselves. This was Zinabu's first time skiing, and I mostly helped him strap and unstrap his skis and snowboard. It was cold, but beautiful and exhilarating. Mostly, though, it's trips like these that sear themselves into our kids' memories and create those family moments they will always remember.

Carver was thrilled to be snowboarding again. He completed his first black diamond run and he could not have been more excited about it.


Zinabu was a superstar and gave snowboarding his best shot. The bindings were hard to get in and out of, so that frustrated him a bit. Still....


he was pretty good!


Lily and David coming down the hill.


Super dad. Literally! He kept everyone happy and did everything possible to make the trip perfect.


Lily on her skis. David and I talked that our kids ski just like their personalities. Carver is crazy and excited and wants speed and tricks. Lily is methodical and cautious and prefers not to stray too far from the "correct" posture or form.



What happens when you are supposed to stay in a room at the lodge but they didn't have enough beds for our family so they upgraded us--for free--to a cabin? You do a happy dance! (sorry it's so dark. i was using my camera.)


Gorgeous pine interior with a huge loft. Fireplace, fabulous kitchen and bathrooms, pine everywhere, and incredible amenities.

Our view.

Gorgeous.

We stayed at a hot springs and after skiing all day and being cold and tired, we all could not wait to soak in the hot springs. The pool has a temperature of 100 degrees, is outside, and because it was nighttime all the stars were out. It was such a blessing.

Day 2--Zinabu getting ready for his first time on the lift.

Does anyone prepare you for this? Your 6 year old and your 8 year old dangling from a little chair?

On the drive home. Refueling with greasy calories and warm comfort food. We're tired and SORE but my kids had an incredible weekend.

Where is the time going? This weekend is the halfway point for February!

Acts of Kindness Update:
February 8th--I had to run to the store for something, and the weather was terrible. Freezing cold with lots of snow. When I got there the store was mostly empty and the cashier was obviously lonely. She wanted to talk... and talk... and talk. So I let her. Normally I would offer a smile and a quick, "Have a good day" and bolt out the door. But since I really was not in a hurry to get anywhere else, I just listened. I heard all about how cold she is standing at the cash register and about her grandchildren and about how she can't wait for her vacation to New Jersey.
February 9th--Offered to run an errand for a friend since she wasn't feeling well.
February 10th--A coworker of David's just got a referral for a little girl from Haiti. Several orphanages with children whose paperwork is all up to date are trying to get the kids out of the country and into adoptive families. The social worker who works with the orphanage reported that they are running out of food. Right now the babies get one bottle a day. One! They are begging for supplies. The social worker is making a trip to Haiti on Friday and is asking for formula donations. I did what all of you wold have done. Went straight out and bought formula.

Please, please, don't forget about Haiti.

Do NOT spend money on Valentines. No way. Uh uh.

Go HERE to see the cutest, FREE, printables.

Want to update blog.
Need to feed kids breakfast.
Need to pack lunches.
Need to take the dog out.
Need to break up a fight.
Need to figure out if I have any clean underwear.
Need to shovel the driveway.
Need to start next work project.
Need to research info. for vacation in California.
Need to call the dentist.
Need to figure out what we're having for dinner.
So I'll get to the blog later.

That Sam-I-am!
That Sam-I-am!

Why do we live with my mom? This is why. Reading aloud to your Nana on a Sunday afternoon. Pure love between the two of them.

Acts of Kindness update:
February 6th: Forgiveness. Letting go of the ability to hold a grudge against someone. The most difficult but the most rewarding.
February 7th: Going to the grocery store, in the snow, and parking way, way out in the lot to save closer parking spaces for someone else. And helping little old ladies reach canned peaches off the top shelf. Definitely a bonus to my day.

Dough


It's Friday night so that means pizza. Tonight we went to a NY style pizzeria and it... was... heavenly. They toss the dough right there in front of a glass window. My kids looked like they were watching fireworks, they were so dazzled and amazed. The chef must have thought they were awfully cute because he gave each one a hunk of dough. It was great fun* watching my children toss dough up in the air in a restaurant and have it land on the floor but who cares because we're not eating it so just pick it up and keep going. Great fun. They even insisted on bringing it home to throw it around some more in our kitchen.

(*insert sarcastic tone)

Acts of kindness update: Feb. 4th I helped someone with a project they had going on at their house. Feb. 5th (today) I took the kids to a fun activity and when it came time to pay I gave the business owner a bit extra and told her to keep the change. She was flabbergasted. And it wasn't even that big of an amount. I told her to have a nice day and she gave me the most beautiful smile. So worth the extra money.

Well, isn't it just dandy that right after I posted my plan to perform acts of kindness throughout February I had a giant, emotional landmine explode in my face. Just a big ol' pile of yuck, splattered all over my life. That's how it is sometimes, but it sure made being kind to others the absolute LAST thing I wanted to think about. I'm going to have to slog through the next few days until I can get this issue worked out, so until then my kindness quota is nothing to brag about. But here's what I've done so far.

Feb. 1--Went to a meeting at school that evening. Once a month parents have the chance to meet with the principal to discuss concerns or raise questions. I had a few things on my mind I could have brought up, but instead I chose to zip my lip. After the meeting I approached the principal, gave her a big hug, and told her how much I appreciated her and all her hard work.

Feb. 2--It was Open House night at the middle school Carver will be attending. Parents got to come and meet some of the staff and go to a few break-out sessions to get information on classes, schedules, and volunteer opportunities. The place was packed, and every time I went to a new classroom, there were more people than chairs. I opted to stand the entire time and give up my seat for someone else. Not a big deal, but it was an act of kindness.

Feb. 3--The day is only half over, so I could still find other ways to be kind, but for now I am writing a sweet note to a distant relative who is elderly and mostly alone and who I know would love to hear from me. It will make her day, and it's pretty easy to write some kind words on a card and stick it in the mail.

So there you have it. Three days down, 25 to go. Hopefully I can shake off the funk I'm in and have a better attitude in the weeks to come.

Look at that. February. I love turning the page in my little calendar and seeing a new month stretching before me. Selfishly, I like to look at the days ahead and see if I can plan anything for myself before the onslaught of events and activities fills up each little square of "Wednesday" or "Saturday." I liken it to the airline safety rules of putting your own oxygen mask on before helping your children with theirs. It feels counter-intuitive but is really for the best.

Also, I am happy to be finished with 30 Days of Nothing. It got grueling toward the end. When I participated in November it was freeing and helpful and worthwhile. January felt like complete deprivation. So I applaud the many friends I have that finished strong and changed their relationship with money--not to mention their relationship with our very privileged lifestyle here in the United States.

February has begun, and in keeping with my idea that I'll try a new challenge each month I have decided to give myself over to one act of kindness every day. Sounds easy, right? Well, I'm not so sure about that.

Rules:
1. My family is not included. Although if you counted how many acts of kindness I perform each and every day for them, they'd number into the hundreds. But that's just part of my job. Would it be nice if I were appreciated more? Sure. But I don't sling breakfast at them and bark, "You'll thank me for this when I'm dead and gone!" in order to evoke more appreciation for all my menial tasks. In other words, I don't lord my servitude over them. It's my job and that's that.

2. I cannot include volunteering at my kids' school. I already do that almost 5 days a week, and it wouldn't be a change in my behavior. However, if there's a way I can assist someone at school that goes above and beyond my volunteer duties, then I think I can count that.

3. Some acts of kindness can be performed from my computer or with a letter. While I'd love to believe I'm going to be "out in the world" every day, leaving a trail of kindness in my wake, the reality is that there are times when my days are filled with the mundane: carpooling, school, cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc., and I can't count on having an hour to "get out there" and immerse myself in public. So if I can write a letter or help out via the Internet, that's good enough for me.

I'm thinking this should be interesting. I hope I have some sweet stories to tell as a result of my reaching out more... but if nothing else I want to challenge myself to look for opportunities to see beyond myself and toward the needs of others.

*UPDATE: I just discovered that Feb. 15-21 is recognized as "Random Acts of Kindness" week. How fitting.

Wants and Needs

Carver's needs are so simple. He works hard in school all week and lives for Saturdays. Time to himself. Freedom. Silly, goofy jokes. And skateboarding. He needs me to take him to the skateboard park, and I do not begrudge him the desire. In all too short a time he will be driving himself, and I will be unnecessary. He won't shoot me his signature "thumbs up" sign after landing a tricky move because I won't be there to see it. Right now he wants me to watch him. So I do.


Lily--the middle child. She needs to have her voice--her opinions--heard. She needs to know that she has a role in the family. So when she pipes up that she wants to make dinner, and dinner will be PB&J on Ritz crackers, then that's what dinner is. She will be strong and determined, because I want her to be. And I let her try.


Zinabu wants to be loud and touching me all the time. Fingers on me every minute he's nearby. I need him to give me space, but he needs me to be parenting board, sounding board, and tactile board all rolled into one. He wants to reach out to me in love but doesn't always know how. He needs me to be patient. He needs to know that his exuberance is appreciated. So I try. Because I want to try.

This is the post where I give you life or death information on how to buy a cheap birthday present. There are so many of you who are going to finish strong in January after participating in 30 Days of Nothing. I am overwhelmed by everyone's hard work and discipline. I'd say January went well for us, but we hit a ginormous (my kids most favorite word that isn't really a word) roadblock.

We were invited to 4 birthday parties this weekend. Actually, let me rephrase that. My kids were invited to 4 birthday parties. My social calendar can hear the crickets chirping.

I debated long and hard about creating cute little coupons for gifts like, "This entitles you to a playdate and ice cream cone with Lily." But I could feel my creative juices shriveling up the more I thought about it, and it was a matter of "spend money now" versus "spend money next week." So I went ahead and bought 4 different presents.

However, I still tried to get the most bang for my buck. I went to Hobby Lobby and found plain canvas bags for $2.99. Inside the bag I put a pink T-shirt ($2.99), feather boa (.99), beaded necklaces (.50), and a pack of fabric markers. The idea is they get to color and decorate their T-shirts and bags. I also found polka-dot bandannas for .99 cents and stuck one of those in there. The entire gift totaled less than $12.00, but I like that it's a dress-up/craft/use it over and over again gift. I have 4 different bags lined up on our counter, ready to go. We're ready to rumble.

Happy 80th, Patty!


Today is my mother-in-law's 80th birthday. That's a photo of her, holding David when he was a baby. She looked pretty good for being a mom of 5 and working as a night nurse, don't you think? When I first met David, I was in my early 20s and he was in his early 30s. (I love to tease him that he married a trophy wife.) David is also the youngest of 5 children. Do the math. I am much younger than them. In fact, I have nieces who are my age.

As I was beginning to get to know David's family, I thought I had nothing in common with them. I thought they lived in a different era. I was young and stupid and didn't have any perspective beyond being young and stupid. Mostly, though, they intimidated me. They were all strong, independent, and unique. They were talented, intelligent, and determined. And I was just young and stupid.

Meeting David's mom scared the daylights out of me. David grew up in a small farming community and his mom had an enormous garden where she tilled, planted, and harvested vegetables. My mom killed green things by looking at them. David's mom canned thousands of quarts of fruit and vegetables. My mom bought canned goods at the store. David's mom worked the night shift as a nurse. Uh... my mom slept at night. David's mom loved to cut down trees and burn them, fix things with electrical tape, and make everything from scratch. My mom loved to sit by the pool and read a novel.

David grew up in Minnesota.
I grew up in California.

It couldn't have been more different.

So meeting Pat and hearing about her pot roasts and seeing the blankets she crocheted and the quilts she sewed and the legend of her nursing skills... well, I was a wee bit overwhelmed. But as I spent more and more time with David's family and with his mom, I realized I was incredibly fortunate to have the chance to be with them. They've taught me a lot, in ways they would never know, about how to live. And I grew up a lot and left behind my young stupidity. My mother-in-law is as dear and funny and sweet as all get out, and she has 80 years of life to celebrate today.

Happy Birthday, Pat.

Things I Know To Be True:

My kids are practical jokers. Plastic spiders in my bed are just a warm-up for them.

We are having baked ziti for dinner.

I am tired of whining.

It should snow tonight.

Auntie Bev rocks (see previous post).

David is overworked.

I miss making jewelry.

I don't miss running a business.

I love reading books that challenge me.

Lily is good at creating mystery illnesses.

I don't think I could be a good mom if we had more kids.

I don't know what a "good mom" is supposed to look like.

*Putting your gerbils in a little box outside in the cold--late at night--is a decent way to end their lives if they are suffering.

*That last little tip I'm giving to you at no charge.

This was the scene at our house this morning at 6:30 am. Pajamas and tissues. No matter how many times you watch The Lion King, the circle of life is cruel when it hits your gerbils. Both were brought down by a strange illness that slowly paralyzed them. Okay, to be honest, both gerbils were brought down by David but it was the illness that started it. No one tells you when you buy a gerbil, "Do you have an exit strategy if one or both of these animal begins to look creepy and starts doing the army crawl around their cage and are hanging on for dear life but are clearly suffering?" No, no one tells you that. So with as much dignity as David could muster, he took care of them.

It's like he's the new Godfather.

Er...Lily doesn't know that aspect of the tragedy. She just misses her gerbils.

Can you believe January is almost over? I'll have to blog a little more about my spending challenge and my final thoughts--which I promise will be boring and non-illuminating. I have two books waiting for me at the library: this and this, which I'm eager to read, but I'm also eager for February to start because I think my new challenge will be one act of kindness each day. More on that later.

Today everyone is excited because Auntie Bev arrives this evening. She is my mom's best friend and honorary member of the family. To know her is to love her. To know about her is to love her, too. She's just that way. She is staying for two weeks, which is not nearly long enough but we will take whatever we can. More on her later. She is just too, too delicious.

An Email To My Husband
David is usually so busy at work I rarely speak to him. We are a no-texting family (except for relief aid to Haiti. that was my first real text message. aren't you proud of me????) so we don't text each other. But once in a while I'll shoot him an email because odds are he'll read it at some point in the day. Here's what I just sent him.

i'm sitting here working and lily is in the other room resting. she's very stuffy so she's having a mental health day. cherries (the gerbil) appears to be paralyzed from the waist down and i think we need to discuss "eliminating" him even though we do not believe in the death penalty.

i am very sad about the vikings and am trying not to think about it.

i also need to let you know that god is laying some heavy burdens on my heart about orphans and haiti and the state of the world. i want to know what else we can do and i want to adopt again and i don't know what to do with that desire.

whoa. what was that? that was me unloading on you.

love,
me

I think maybe he would prefer my silence.

Breakfast of Champions

I tried the organic, whole wheat, real fruit "toaster pastries" that were on sale this week. Normally something this delish wouldn't be a breakfast option for our family, but a sale is a sale. Don't let the natural ingredients fool you. It's still a pop tart--and it's good.

That's my new coffee cup that David bought me for Christmas. It was from Starbucks and it came with a white pen. The idea was that the kids would write their names on it and maybe draw some pictures, and after you "bake" the mug in the oven, the white paint is permanent. I was so excited. But then the white pen didn't work. At all. And Starbucks was super lame and wouldn't take the present back (long story that would put you to sleep so I'll skip it) so now I have a mug in which I get to imagine my kids' artwork.

It's Monday morning and Carver and Z are at school. Lily is home with sinus crud, but she's happy and flitting around the house making rubber band balls. She just reported that one of her gerbils is not moving its back legs. Which makes me seriously wonder how a gerbil becomes paralyzed from the waist down. So tonight I will greet David at the door with a kiss, a blunt object, and "Hi, honey! What's the best way to kill a gerbil quickly and painlessly?" I imagine he will thank me very much for that.

Christina brought this article to my attention. About a family that downsized their lives and donated a lot of money. It's a fantastic article and I can't wait to read the book. Jayme and Melodie have both discussed their desire to give more. I have discussed my desire to give more. I struggle with the dilemma of giving to several organizations that I deeply love, or do I pick one and make a concentrated effort to give as much as I can to that one charity. Which option makes more of a difference?

And I'll just throw this out there. My heart now yearns to adopt from Haiti. I guess we probably all feel that way, but I want to scream, "Enough is enough with all the orphans in the world!" Let's get to work, people! At church yesterday my heart was so conflicted. I weep and ask, Why? Why so much suffering? Why so many orphans? Why such devastation in such a downtrodden country? And I have no answers.

I don't know what our future holds, but I know I am not ready to say, "I'm comfortable now. Let's chill."

Worthwhile No-Spending Post

Laura

Retro Pictures

I have no new pictures to post because I've been a tad occupied in the busy department and I don't think I could even tell you where the camera is right now. Rest assured we all look the same. Quick updates:

Carver has pretty much chosen the middle school he wants to attend, and rather than pretend it's not happening (a practice that was serving me quite well up until a few weeks ago) I have jumped on the bandwagon and am happy to say we're pleased with the school, how the 6th graders are sheltered from the big, mean, adolescent 7th and 8th graders, and the electives he can take to make it feel like he's not really in school although he is. He has a science project coming up and he has to pick a topic and run an experiment on it. So far he's come up with "leaving a lot of rotten food outside his bedroom window and seeing what animals he can attract."

Right.

Lily is growing again and I can hardly keep her in clothes that fit. She is taking a liking to cooking (proof we do not share DNA) and is always asking to make something. She is a great big sister, which is a role she has always enjoyed but was reluctant to fully embrace until recently. She and Zinabu are really, really good friends. YES, THEY FIGHT! But it is always outweighed by their creativity. Yesterday she pretended to be a kangaroo and Zinabu was her "keeper."

Zinabu is fully Americanized. He wanted to buy a pack of Pokemon cards. He is doing great at school and takes for granted that most of the staff there is friends with David and me. He doesn't realize that not every kid in school knows the other teachers on a personal level. He still never, ever shuts up. Ever.

30 Days of Nothing caused a few stumbling blocks in my schedule last week. I'm back on track though. I'm trying to think of a challenge for February, and every month after, for the rest of 2010. I have a few ideas I've been kicking around, and some I'm narrowing down to more achievable goals. Jayme is doing this as well. Jayme doesn't know it yet, but she may have to make a few "guest posts" on my blog. Everyone should have access to Jayme the way I do.

Coolest... person... ever. (you are too, David, just in a different way.)

I leave you with some pictures from Ethiopia. Look at that cutie pie!!!!!!

Well, what a week.

I'm physically and emotionally drained. What's going on in Haiti is crippling my ability to focus on much. Which is as it should be... right? We can't pretend it's not happening.

One of the opportunities that came out of the Haiti earthquake was being able to talk to our kids about how to respond to a crisis. I'm not usually a "rah rah, go America" kinda gal, but I felt pretty dang proud this week that the Red Cross was reporting millions and millions of dollars being donated by people in this country. David and I talked about teaching our kids that in an emergency you give right away. We teach them to give throughout the year, but this is different. We talked about Haiti and what the devastation is like there. Truly, they could not comprehend it. How can any of us comprehend it? We didn't want to guilt them into giving, but we certainly wanted to give them the chance. I was really proud. Lily and Carver gave from the heart. They dug into their money jars and handed it over to me. Lily even went and got her crutches out of her room and gave them to me. She wanted someone in Haiti who had a broken leg to have them. Her favorite Christmas present of all time and she wanted to give it away. So sweet.

Zinabu, well.... he was a different story. He chose to hang onto his money. He would put a quarter in my hands and then take it back and say "It's so hard!" At least he was honest. It was a starting point.

And if you're participating in 30 Days of Nothing, the timing is rather eerie. It's pretty easy to go without for the rest of January when you know an entire country is without everything. Interestingly, both Jayme and Melodie have recently commented that they like living this way now. They like knowing they're saving money and not spending it on "things," and they want to continue this curb on spending for longer than January. And I completely understand their motivation. Why do you think I wanted to do 30 Days of Nothing again? Because once you start, it becomes a bit addictive. You find it hard to go back to your previous lifestyle. Even if you're extremely budget conscious, challenging yourself to think about parting with every single penny is a worthwhile exercise.

I hope to be back this week with my normal trivial blathering. I'm still recovering from the shock of so much devastation. Thanks for listening.

There is still good in the world. Read this.

Except for Rush Limbaugh. He's a big idiot. Read this.

I won't even get started on Pat Robertson.

(UPDATE: As of Friday afternoon, Americans have texted over 10 million in relief funds!)

Speechless.

courtesy of hosted.ap.org

courtesy of dailymail.co.uk

Wyclef Jean, a musician and Goodwill ambassador to Haiti, seems to have one of the best ways to send help. Go here. You can donate by texting. It will take you less than a minute. Other reputable organizations ready to help:

• American Red Cross: Since its founding in 1881 by visionary leader Clara Barton, the American Red Cross has been the nation's premier emergency response organization.
• Action Against Hunger:Named for the original member of the International Network, Action contre la Faim, or ACF, the ACF International Network shares an overall vision of a world without hunger, collaborating closely and sharing human resources, logistics, and technical capacity.
• Operation Blessing International:Operation Blessing International Relief and Development Corporation (OBI) is a nonprofit 501 (c)(3) humanitarian organization based in Virginia Beach, Virginia, USA.
• AmeriCares: AmeriCares is a nonprofit disaster relief and humanitarian aid organization which provides immediate response to emergency medical needs - and supports long-term humanitarian assistance programs - for all people around the world, irrespective of race, creed or political persuasion.
• ConcernUSA.org: Concern Worldwide is a non-governmental, international, humanitarian organization dedicated to the reduction of suffering and working towards the ultimate elimination of extreme poverty in the world’s poorest countries.
• American Jewish World Service: American Jewish World Service (AJWS) is an international development organization motivated by Judaism’s imperative to pursue justice. AJWS is dedicated to alleviating poverty, hunger and disease among the people of the developing world regardless of race, religion or nationality. AJWS fosters civil society, sustainable development and human rights for all people, while promoting the values and responsibilities of global citizenship within the Jewish community.
• CARE: CARE is a leading humanitarian organization fighting global poverty.
• Beyond Borders: Beyond Borders is a registered tax-exempt (501c3) non-profit organization. All contributions are tax-deductible. We are certified by the state of Pennsylvania as a charitable organization.
• Catholic Relief Services: Help CRS rush humanitarian relief to survivors within hours of man-made and natural disasters around the world.
• Direct Relief International: Since 1948, Direct Relief International has worked to help people who confront enormous hardship to improve the quality of their lives.
• Childcare Worldwide: At Childcare Worldwide, our unique programs not only help feed hungry children and their families, they also help children receive an education that leads to employment. Our goal is to help children survive and succeed.
• Doctors Without Borders: Doctors Without Borders provides aid in nearly 60 countries to people whose survival is threatened by violence, neglect, or catastrophe, primarily due to armed conflict, epidemics, malnutrition, exclusion from health care, or natural disasters.
• Feed My Starving Children: Feed My Starving Children is a non-profit Christian organization committed to feeding starving children.
• Friends of WFP : Friends of WFP is a U.S.-based, nonprofit, nonpartisan organization that focuses on building support in the United States for the United Nations World Food Program (WFP) and other hunger relief operations.
• Haitian Health Foundation: The Haitian Health Foundation provides health care, development, relief, and the hope of a future to more than 225,000 of the poorest people in over 100 rural mountain villages in southwestern Haiti.
• International Medical Corps: International Medical Corps is a global, humanitarian, nonprofit organization dedicated to saving lives and relieving suffering through health care training and relief and development programs.
• Hope for Haiti: Hope for Haiti has held the vision from the very beginning that the people of Haiti are the ones who take control of their future and we are here to lend a needed hand along the difficult path.
• International Relief Teams: International Relief Teams is a nonprofit, international relief organization dedicated to organizing volunteer teams to provide medical and non-medical assistance to the victims of disaster and profound poverty worldwide.
• Medical Teams International: Since 1979, Medical Teams International has shipped more than $1.3 billion in antibiotics, surgical kits and lifesaving medicines to care for 35 million people in 100 countries around the world. More than 2000 volunteers meet the needs of people worldwide each year.
• Meds and Food for Kids: Meds & Food for Kids is dedicated to saving the lives of Haiti’s malnourished children and other nutritionally vulnerable people.
• Mercy Corps: Mercy Corps is a team of 3,700 professionals helping turn crisis into opportunity for millions around the world. By trade, we are engineers, financial analysts, drivers, community organizers, project managers, public health experts, administrators, social entrepreneurs and logisticians. In spirit, we are activists, optimists, innovators and proud partners of the people we serve.
• Oxfam: Oxfam International is a confederation of 14 like-minded organizations working together and with partners and allies around the world to bring about lasting change.
• Operation USA: Operation USA helps communities alleviate the effects of disasters, disease and endemic poverty throughout the world by providing privately-funded relief, reconstruction and development aid.
• Partners in Health: Our mission is to provide a preferential option for the poor in health care.
• Samaritan's Purse: Samaritan's Purse is a nondenominational evangelical Christian organization providing spiritual and physical aid to hurting people around the world.
• Save the Children: Save the Children is the leading independent organization creating lasting change in the lives of children in need in the United States and around the world.
• UNICEF: UNICEF is mandated by the United Nations General Assembly to advocate for the protection of children's rights, to help meet their basic needs and to expand their opportunities to reach their full potential.
• World Concern: World Concern works in 24 of the poorest countries on Earth, giving hope and opportunities to vulnerable people in great need.
• World Vision: World Vision helps transform the lives of the world's poorest children and families in nearly 100 countries, including the United States. Our non-profit work extends assistance to all people, regardless of their religious beliefs, gender, race, or ethnic background.

can't speak...

toured a ... middle school.

kids... so big.

can't... hold... on... much... longer.

Disclosure
Just so you know, I did spend money this week. I enrolled Carver in summer camp (sleep away summer camp... so I am an emotional wreck). But they were offering a sweet deal where if you registered by January 13th you saved $50. I thought it would be a stupid financial decision not to take advantage of that discount just to "experience" financial willpower. Besides, it was a very hard purchase to make. I'm transitioning to a new stage of mothering with Carver, and it's rough. Don't get me started.

Jayme has (as usual, if you know Jayme) some insightful thoughts on her blog. She wrote:

"One of my biggest personal challenges for this year is to learn how to appreciate the beauty in the world without feeling the need to possess it. I have this innate "need" to surround myself with aesthetically beautiful, whimsical, fun, colourful, and meaningful things. My house is an eclectic collection of African sculpture, Costa Rican Art, Thai Pottery, American crafts, ultra-modern statement pieces and antiques. Everything I own has some sentimental value, but recently I've found myself wondering when "enough is enough"? I don't "need" anything more to feel fulfilled and content. But that fact rarely stops me from wanting. From coveting. And from comparing what's within my means to what's within the means of others. I think that's the nature (and one of the worst aspects) of our "keeping up with the Joneses" culture.

It's interesting to me because I've never really been one to "follow the crowd". And yet, I've hopped right on the consumerist bandwagon with reckless abandon. And although my purchases might be off the beaten path, does that really make it any better? This experiment has given me a lot to consider."

How do you appreciate "things" without giving in to the need to "own" them?

Hope this Monday finds you well!

What's the "blogging network" I referred to in one of my recent posts? Let me show you. A little while back I did a small favor for Sarah. No biggie. Really.

I went to get the mail today and found a darling package containing the most beautiful pants inside. A crude person would call them pajama bottoms, but to me they are "crack-open-an-elizabeth-berg-novel-and-pour-a-huge-cup-of-coffee-and-ignore-the-kids" pants. Oh no? Oh yes.

So who's the most thoughtful blogging buddy in the world? Sarah! That's who.
Perfect fit, and oh so comfortable.


Three different types of fabric...and a little pleat on the hem. Seriously? She's amazing.

30 Days of Nothing looks different for different people, which is great because every family is different and every person has their own spending "issues" to tackle. I love reading how people are experiencing their challenges.

Katie.
Bridget.
Melodie.

There it is. I love different perspectives and different ways of life. But one thing seems to bind us all together. Coffee. I was a little surprised at how much money we, as women, dump down the black hole for a cup of joe. No wonder there's a Starbucks on every corner.

Right now I'm sitting in my kitchen watching water drip from the ceiling. I am also trying not to yank my hair out in frustration wondering how much this is going to cost us. Is this going to set us back from our spring break trip to California???? Is this "issue" still under warranty from our contractor? Was my cutting back this month going to be sidelined by a major repair bill? It kinda stinks. So, time to put on my big girl panties and just put all this angst into a kick-butt cardio workout. *

*Oh my gosh! You didn't think I was serious, did you?

Anyone looking for a front man for their new reggae band? I might have just the right kid.

There is a story behind this hat, which I won't go into. But he WON'T take it off. He looks like a lemon meringue pie.

It's Wednesday.

The kids are back at school.

I tried reeeeaaaaallllly hard not to leave a footprint on their backsides as I shooed them out of the car. They were ready, I was ready, and my desire to not hear myself say, "Stop touching each other" was ready.

30 Days of Nothing continues to leave its mark in the lives of people I know. It makes you think and it makes you wonder what else you could give up/let go of/challenge yourself with/and see what mettle you're really made of. There are a few of us tossing around the idea of a new challenge every month. I know some of what I'd like to try, but I began to realize every single one of them was "me" focused. Eating better. Getting back my running groove. Challenging myself to read new authors or more thought-provoking books. Denying myself certain luxuries to sharpen my willpower. All of which are great, but this is also the year I think I need to branch out of my comfort zone with other people.

So here is when I let you know that I am a true introvert. I didn't realize how introverted I was until I had kids and couldn't figure out why I was always exhausted and craving time alone. I then realized I didn't just crave time alone, I needed time alone or I was a freaking wreck. I think I had always been a middle-of-the road introvert most of life, but kids just sent me down the fast-track of needing more alone time. Too much alone time isn't a good thing. I've become way too comfortable with myself and am finding it harder (sometimes) to make the effort to pursue deep friendships with others. The same can be true for extroverts: too much time spent only with others and never with yourself can lead to not knowing who you really are anymore.

So there's a balance to be found, and I am thinking this is the year I start tinkering with the balance. Add to that a very, very disappointing relationship in my life that is never going to get better and I'm discovering that I will need to get out there and find that relationship with someone else. There are a few wonderful women that live near me that I want to spend more time with. And there is this crazy blog network that surrounds me that I would love to take to the next level. People that I know through blogs that have been a source of support like I can't even describe. I want to take some of the focus off myself and put it on others. I figure nothing but good can come from that.

Jayme's Day

Jayme is participating in 30 Days of Nothing and has some big plans for her month. Her biggest sacrifice is going to be Sunday brunch (and perhaps alcohol, depending on how naughty her kids might be). It is her family tradition, and she and her husband and kids look forward to it all week. That's a big item to give up. Today, Jayme's husband informed her they didn't have any more deodorant. He is wondering if they should just "smell" for the entire month. That made me laugh! Jayme managed to stick to her budget at Target today (where she shops for food) and even used a gift card to help with some of the total. This brings up an interesting point. Where do gift cards fit into 30 Days of Nothing? I, personally, feel that if you have a gift card to Starbucks or The Gap, you should save it until February. Otherwise, how will you know how it feels to deny yourself? Using a gift card for gas or groceries is great, since you're more or less agreeing to buy those necessities anyway for the next month.

That's just my two cents. Do whatever you want with it.

In our news I am trying hard to hold it all together until my kids go back to school on Wednesday. We have had a sweet, relaxing, lovely break together. But we're done. We are so done. Today we went swimming at the Y and I heard myself say, "I need a few minutes of no one touching me!" I'm tired of being groped by people under the age of 10. Zinabu has taken to eating limes. So tonight at dinner I sliced one in half and put one half in my water and gave the other half to him. After ten minutes of watching him suck it dry, I asked him to set it down and start eating his chicken. He wasn't really happy about that.

We are so, so done.

The first week of January is well under way, and I'm trying to plan ahead for any bumps in the road that might come with no spending. I confess that once again I alone am attempting this undertaking. I haven't really involved the kids. Mostly because I see this as something very valuable for me and a way for me to get a handle on my spending opportunities. Melodie has an interesting post here. When I do 30 Days of Nothing again, it will involve the kids, and we will set up a giant jar on the kitchen counter. Anytime we forgo a meal out or admission to a fun event, we can put the savings in the jar. At the end of the month we can pick a charity we want to support and send the money off to a family/person that truly needs it. Getting my children involved will be the next level of financial sacrifice and going without. I have big dreams of us--as a family--taking a week each summer to work with Habitat for Humanity or something similar, but starting now on a smaller scale will help my children see that we want to be a family who gives back of their time and resources.

I am so glad that so many families are trying 30 Days of Nothing. I promise you won't regret it!