It's Wednesday.

The kids are back at school.

I tried reeeeaaaaallllly hard not to leave a footprint on their backsides as I shooed them out of the car. They were ready, I was ready, and my desire to not hear myself say, "Stop touching each other" was ready.

30 Days of Nothing continues to leave its mark in the lives of people I know. It makes you think and it makes you wonder what else you could give up/let go of/challenge yourself with/and see what mettle you're really made of. There are a few of us tossing around the idea of a new challenge every month. I know some of what I'd like to try, but I began to realize every single one of them was "me" focused. Eating better. Getting back my running groove. Challenging myself to read new authors or more thought-provoking books. Denying myself certain luxuries to sharpen my willpower. All of which are great, but this is also the year I think I need to branch out of my comfort zone with other people.

So here is when I let you know that I am a true introvert. I didn't realize how introverted I was until I had kids and couldn't figure out why I was always exhausted and craving time alone. I then realized I didn't just crave time alone, I needed time alone or I was a freaking wreck. I think I had always been a middle-of-the road introvert most of life, but kids just sent me down the fast-track of needing more alone time. Too much alone time isn't a good thing. I've become way too comfortable with myself and am finding it harder (sometimes) to make the effort to pursue deep friendships with others. The same can be true for extroverts: too much time spent only with others and never with yourself can lead to not knowing who you really are anymore.

So there's a balance to be found, and I am thinking this is the year I start tinkering with the balance. Add to that a very, very disappointing relationship in my life that is never going to get better and I'm discovering that I will need to get out there and find that relationship with someone else. There are a few wonderful women that live near me that I want to spend more time with. And there is this crazy blog network that surrounds me that I would love to take to the next level. People that I know through blogs that have been a source of support like I can't even describe. I want to take some of the focus off myself and put it on others. I figure nothing but good can come from that.


Deirdre said...

I like it! Step one: More playdates with ME!

rebekah said...

I am also an introvert - and this blog world has been great for me. It's the perfect platform for us introverts, I think.

That said, meeting blog friends face to face has been beyond my expectations. The only drawback is the distance, so these new great friends are still far away friends.

Curious to see where you go next with this idea...

jayme said...

This really resonates with me on so many different levels. What you had to say about introversion is so incredibly true in my life. I *need* time for myself.

But more and more I find myself craving true friendship -- not the sort that comes out of the convenience of having one or two common interests, but the kind of friendship where you can lay our your fears and frustrations and know that you won't be judged. Also the kind of friendship that allows us to share the moments of joy in our lives.

I've also realized that I have no space in my life for those negative relationships that cause more pain and stress than the happiness they bring. In the absence of those relationships, I'm hoping to develop closer bonds to build my very own village of friendship and mutual support.

Chatter said...

I'm an extrovert, but one with 10 siblings. I've always leaned on them as my best friends and I'm really hoping 2010 includes new friendships with local moms. I feel like I don't know how to make friends.

Also, wanted to let you know we started our 30 day spending freeze yesterday. I'm looking forward to it! Thanks for the inspiration. Hoping to blog about it soon. So much to say and not sure how to express myself. Wish we lived closer Cathy, I'd love to meet ya (speaking of which, hoping to head out to CO feb/march.).

Bridget said...

ohhhhh....I like this! I'd love to meet both you AND Deirdre and we're really so close....we should try to make it happen! I would love that!

Melodie Monberg said...

Amen. How did you know what I was thinking? Thank you for putting into words what I'm currently trying to figure out!

Hope the day at school was good for all!


Vivi said...

Ditto and amen to that. You're a great writer with lots of good thoughts and a perfect forum. You're clearly challenging many of us...keep it up!