What happens when Zinabu has a full bladder and David begins tickling him?
3/13/09
3/11/09
Guilty Pleasures...
My BBF (best blogging friend) Heather recently tagged me for the following fun assignment: share 5 of my guilty pleasures. I had to think for a while about what to share, since my deep-dark secret guilty pleasures more or less peg me as a nerd. Gasp! Dare I share such trivial nonsense with my readers? However, after thinking for a while I came up with 5. Achtung! Here is your official warning that I lead a very boring and non-descript life and you will be let down if you think I'm going to confess to clandestine meetings with the mob or that I own a tea cup chihuahua and carry it with me to the grocery store. Uh... no.
If I am alone in the car (I think it happened once back in 2003) I lurrve listening to the BBC broadcast on NPR. I am in love with all things England, especially their delish accents. So I listen to the BBC news and repeat aloud what they're saying and pretend I live in London. So posh.
Books. I am a book fiend. I keep a stack just like this next to my bed. I need, need, need to have 2 books going at the same time and at least 4 in the wings waiting to be read. I get antsy if I don't know what I'm going to be reading next week. How is this a guilty pleasure? Because I am often reading when I should be doing other things, like parenting (did I just say that aloud?). Reading is the most divine form of escapism.
The Office. I bought David seasons one through four for his birthday and we had the greatest time working our way through them. Alas, David and I hardly see one another these days--let alone have time to watch any tv--so when season five comes out on DVD we'll buy it and get caught up. The writers for this show are bloody brilliant! (See? The BBC influences me all the time.)
My running play list. When I run, I prefer to run alone and listen to really great music. I should probably use that time to pray more or organize my thoughts, but I get sucked into my play list every time. I have a weakness for inappropriate rap music (Eminem, Kanye West, ahem). In my defense, though, you really need someone hollering at you with a steady rhythm to finish mile 10.
Sugar-cinnamon roasted almonds. We are frequenters to the Colorado College hockey games, and when we walk in the doors to the arena, we are always assaulted by the most amazing cinnamon smell. One day we went all out crazy and followed the smell. There was a vat of almonds being turned in a roaster and they were coated with cinnamon and sugar. We bought a bag, and after David and I each tried some our eyes met over the tops of our kids' heads and it was like we both had the same thought at the same time. This is nirvana. We will always buy these. Oh, sweet nectar of the gods, how have we been missing these all this time? I have since found a recipe to make them at home and they are just as yummy. I could eat 6 pounds of these in one sitting.
My BBF (best blogging friend) Heather recently tagged me for the following fun assignment: share 5 of my guilty pleasures. I had to think for a while about what to share, since my deep-dark secret guilty pleasures more or less peg me as a nerd. Gasp! Dare I share such trivial nonsense with my readers? However, after thinking for a while I came up with 5. Achtung! Here is your official warning that I lead a very boring and non-descript life and you will be let down if you think I'm going to confess to clandestine meetings with the mob or that I own a tea cup chihuahua and carry it with me to the grocery store. Uh... no.
If I am alone in the car (I think it happened once back in 2003) I lurrve listening to the BBC broadcast on NPR. I am in love with all things England, especially their delish accents. So I listen to the BBC news and repeat aloud what they're saying and pretend I live in London. So posh.
Books. I am a book fiend. I keep a stack just like this next to my bed. I need, need, need to have 2 books going at the same time and at least 4 in the wings waiting to be read. I get antsy if I don't know what I'm going to be reading next week. How is this a guilty pleasure? Because I am often reading when I should be doing other things, like parenting (did I just say that aloud?). Reading is the most divine form of escapism.
The Office. I bought David seasons one through four for his birthday and we had the greatest time working our way through them. Alas, David and I hardly see one another these days--let alone have time to watch any tv--so when season five comes out on DVD we'll buy it and get caught up. The writers for this show are bloody brilliant! (See? The BBC influences me all the time.)
My running play list. When I run, I prefer to run alone and listen to really great music. I should probably use that time to pray more or organize my thoughts, but I get sucked into my play list every time. I have a weakness for inappropriate rap music (Eminem, Kanye West, ahem). In my defense, though, you really need someone hollering at you with a steady rhythm to finish mile 10.
Sugar-cinnamon roasted almonds. We are frequenters to the Colorado College hockey games, and when we walk in the doors to the arena, we are always assaulted by the most amazing cinnamon smell. One day we went all out crazy and followed the smell. There was a vat of almonds being turned in a roaster and they were coated with cinnamon and sugar. We bought a bag, and after David and I each tried some our eyes met over the tops of our kids' heads and it was like we both had the same thought at the same time. This is nirvana. We will always buy these. Oh, sweet nectar of the gods, how have we been missing these all this time? I have since found a recipe to make them at home and they are just as yummy. I could eat 6 pounds of these in one sitting.
If you've read this, consider yourself tagged. Do share! Ooooh Vivi, Melodie, Kristin... do you have any?
3/10/09
AAAACK!
I had horrible insomnia last night. My brain just wouldn't shut off. At 4 am I finally fell asleep. Unfortunately my internal alarm clock that wakes me up without fail at 6:30 every morning had not yet adjusted to daylight savings. Neither have my kids, who also have internal alarm clocks that go off at 6:30. So imagine my horror when I opened my eyes and the clock said 7:45!
Guess what time school starts? 7:55.
No, wait. It gets worse. I was scheduled to work in the library this morning.
No, wait. It gets even worse. I was also scheduled to bring snacks in to Carver's class for an event they're having today.
I feel like the world's most incompetent mother. You can just imagine my hair today, can't you.
I had horrible insomnia last night. My brain just wouldn't shut off. At 4 am I finally fell asleep. Unfortunately my internal alarm clock that wakes me up without fail at 6:30 every morning had not yet adjusted to daylight savings. Neither have my kids, who also have internal alarm clocks that go off at 6:30. So imagine my horror when I opened my eyes and the clock said 7:45!
Guess what time school starts? 7:55.
No, wait. It gets worse. I was scheduled to work in the library this morning.
No, wait. It gets even worse. I was also scheduled to bring snacks in to Carver's class for an event they're having today.
I feel like the world's most incompetent mother. You can just imagine my hair today, can't you.
3/8/09
Saturday
After a week of sunshine and temperatures in the 60s and 70s, Saturday was cold, overcast, and wet. Unfortunately, the kids still had all their regular energy and were not really interested in quiet activities. After dinner, David and I took them to the mall for a scavenger hunt. I came up with 12 clues and they had to read the clues and figure out where to go. They had a great time and it was a fun and cheap evening together. The last clue led them to ice cream, which was (no surprises here) a big hit.
Riding the escalator
Carver digging in
Lily
After a week of sunshine and temperatures in the 60s and 70s, Saturday was cold, overcast, and wet. Unfortunately, the kids still had all their regular energy and were not really interested in quiet activities. After dinner, David and I took them to the mall for a scavenger hunt. I came up with 12 clues and they had to read the clues and figure out where to go. They had a great time and it was a fun and cheap evening together. The last clue led them to ice cream, which was (no surprises here) a big hit.
Riding the escalator
Carver digging in
Lily
Zinabu.
3/6/09
3/5/09
Interview With My Child
The following questions have been floating around Blogger and Facebook for a while now, and I have laughed until I've cried reading some children's responses. They are priceless. I thought Zinabu would answer the following questions predictably and his responses would be dull. Boy was I wrong. He did not disappoint. Remember he's my chatty one? At times I had to tell him to stop talking so I could get to the next question. Here is our interview:
1. What is something mom always says to you? Don’t play with my bellybutton. (This was not a good start, in my opinion, as I cannot ever recall saying this to him… ever!)
2. What makes mom happy? Eating fruit
3. What makes mom sad? Punching
4. How does your mom make you laugh? Like when last time you did a really funny thing to me (he cannot speak anymore because he’s laughing so hard. I wait for him to finish and then he continues) I just can’t remember but it was soooo funny (Dissolves into laughter again.)
5. What was your mom like as a child? In kindergarten
6. How old is your mom? “ 37
7. How tall is your mom? Right up to here (pointing to his cheek) on Ababa (meaning I am as tall as David’s cheek)
8. What is mommy’s favorite thing to do? Give me a hint
9. What does your mom do when you're not around? Doing computer
10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? You’ll be famous for drawing
11. What is your mom really good at? Reading and typing
12. What is your mom not very good at? You’re not good at doing like on the baddest thing or like a skatebord. You really have a hard time. (I had to raise my eyebrow to this one)
13. What does your mom do for her job? Your job? To be the mommy
14. What is your mom's favorite food? Pasta
15. What makes you proud of your mom? When you play
16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be? I would say… Mickey Mouse clubhouse
17. What do you and your mom do together? Lay down and watch tv (Really? This is all he remembers that we ever do together?)
18. How are you and your mom the same? We both like to work --like I work on doing reading… it was monsters everywhere in my house and you took that back to the library. Why did you do that? (This means he is still very mad at me that the book “Monsters Everywhere” by Mercer Mayer was due at the library today and he has not forgiven me for such a cruel injustice!)
19. How are you and your mom different? Give me a hint....(I give him a look) We have different bodies (Bingo!!!)
20. How do you know your mom loves you? Because you want me to enjoy the evening and the day (What?)
21. Where is your mom's favorite place to go? Souper Salad (I about wet my pants I laughed so hard over this. It’s all about the food with him)
The following questions have been floating around Blogger and Facebook for a while now, and I have laughed until I've cried reading some children's responses. They are priceless. I thought Zinabu would answer the following questions predictably and his responses would be dull. Boy was I wrong. He did not disappoint. Remember he's my chatty one? At times I had to tell him to stop talking so I could get to the next question. Here is our interview:
1. What is something mom always says to you? Don’t play with my bellybutton. (This was not a good start, in my opinion, as I cannot ever recall saying this to him… ever!)
2. What makes mom happy? Eating fruit
3. What makes mom sad? Punching
4. How does your mom make you laugh? Like when last time you did a really funny thing to me (he cannot speak anymore because he’s laughing so hard. I wait for him to finish and then he continues) I just can’t remember but it was soooo funny (Dissolves into laughter again.)
5. What was your mom like as a child? In kindergarten
6. How old is your mom? “ 37
7. How tall is your mom? Right up to here (pointing to his cheek) on Ababa (meaning I am as tall as David’s cheek)
8. What is mommy’s favorite thing to do? Give me a hint
9. What does your mom do when you're not around? Doing computer
10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? You’ll be famous for drawing
11. What is your mom really good at? Reading and typing
12. What is your mom not very good at? You’re not good at doing like on the baddest thing or like a skatebord. You really have a hard time. (I had to raise my eyebrow to this one)
13. What does your mom do for her job? Your job? To be the mommy
14. What is your mom's favorite food? Pasta
15. What makes you proud of your mom? When you play
16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be? I would say… Mickey Mouse clubhouse
17. What do you and your mom do together? Lay down and watch tv (Really? This is all he remembers that we ever do together?)
18. How are you and your mom the same? We both like to work --like I work on doing reading… it was monsters everywhere in my house and you took that back to the library. Why did you do that? (This means he is still very mad at me that the book “Monsters Everywhere” by Mercer Mayer was due at the library today and he has not forgiven me for such a cruel injustice!)
19. How are you and your mom different? Give me a hint....(I give him a look) We have different bodies (Bingo!!!)
20. How do you know your mom loves you? Because you want me to enjoy the evening and the day (What?)
21. Where is your mom's favorite place to go? Souper Salad (I about wet my pants I laughed so hard over this. It’s all about the food with him)
3/4/09
I Don't Know
I know a lot about Zinabu. We are coming up on our two year anniversary of his adoption. But there is a lot about Zinabu I don't know. For example, he has a large scar on the back of his hand, wrist, and arm that looks like a severe burn. I don't know how it happened. He probably put his hand in the fire--or fell in the fire--when he lived with his birth family. His family lived in a small farming community and cooked all their meals over a fire. It's our best guess, but we really don't know. We are overjoyed to be celebrating his two years with us, but we are not yet to the point that he has lived with us longer than anywhere else. He came to our family when he was three and a half, so he's lived more than half his life not with us. The "I don't knows" seem to bother other people more than they bother us. It drives one of my friends crazy that we don't know Zinabu's actual birthday. She cannot fathom this. Perhaps because we focus on what we do know about Zinabu, we are better able to deal with the mysteries of the unknown. We focus on what is real and true and so undeniably him. His smile, his giggle (oh, if only you could hear it!), his sense of humor, his non-stop talking, his love of adventure, his love for his daddy... This is what makes up our Zinabu. I treasure each and every moment we've had with him.
I know a lot about Zinabu. We are coming up on our two year anniversary of his adoption. But there is a lot about Zinabu I don't know. For example, he has a large scar on the back of his hand, wrist, and arm that looks like a severe burn. I don't know how it happened. He probably put his hand in the fire--or fell in the fire--when he lived with his birth family. His family lived in a small farming community and cooked all their meals over a fire. It's our best guess, but we really don't know. We are overjoyed to be celebrating his two years with us, but we are not yet to the point that he has lived with us longer than anywhere else. He came to our family when he was three and a half, so he's lived more than half his life not with us. The "I don't knows" seem to bother other people more than they bother us. It drives one of my friends crazy that we don't know Zinabu's actual birthday. She cannot fathom this. Perhaps because we focus on what we do know about Zinabu, we are better able to deal with the mysteries of the unknown. We focus on what is real and true and so undeniably him. His smile, his giggle (oh, if only you could hear it!), his sense of humor, his non-stop talking, his love of adventure, his love for his daddy... This is what makes up our Zinabu. I treasure each and every moment we've had with him.
3/3/09
Weird Things I Said Today, Vol. 2
Put the pickle-picker down! (don't even ask what this means!)
Chew what's in your mouth before you talk to me. No, really chew it. That's not chewed yet!
How did it feel to pet the skunk?
Were you chased by the girls again at recess?
Zinabu, you don't have to tell me what the speed limit is. I got it.
Just eat your pudding without a spoon.
Put the pickle-picker down! (don't even ask what this means!)
Chew what's in your mouth before you talk to me. No, really chew it. That's not chewed yet!
How did it feel to pet the skunk?
Were you chased by the girls again at recess?
Zinabu, you don't have to tell me what the speed limit is. I got it.
Just eat your pudding without a spoon.
3/2/09
Thinking Happy Thoughts
Hooray for me! I packed 8 boxes yesterday. David cheered me on while he was working on a paper, but getting those few boxes done felt great. If I can take a couple of hours each weekend to pack, I think we'll be fine by the end of April/early May. And at one point, I'll have to wait to pack until we actually move, since I can't very well box up our clothes and dishes yet. I also need to make my "to do" list and spread it out over the next several weeks. It's mostly painting, but I think I won't feel so overwhelmed if I can tackle it a bit at a time.
I MUST get to my mom's and take some "before" pictures. The construction starts March 15th, and we are so excited. Bless my mom's heart, she has to live in the house with all the noise and dust, but she's just as excited as we are.
It is 72 degrees today. I don't know what on earth we did to earn such sublime weather, but it is heavenly. It also caused me to eat extra helpings of ice cream today (sorry David), but how could I not?
In other unrelated news, Zinabu starts soccer this week. It's through the YMCA and very low-key, but his coach's name is Billie Joe. She's a woman--named Billie Joe. I didn't know whether to laugh or give her a hug.
Hooray for me! I packed 8 boxes yesterday. David cheered me on while he was working on a paper, but getting those few boxes done felt great. If I can take a couple of hours each weekend to pack, I think we'll be fine by the end of April/early May. And at one point, I'll have to wait to pack until we actually move, since I can't very well box up our clothes and dishes yet. I also need to make my "to do" list and spread it out over the next several weeks. It's mostly painting, but I think I won't feel so overwhelmed if I can tackle it a bit at a time.
I MUST get to my mom's and take some "before" pictures. The construction starts March 15th, and we are so excited. Bless my mom's heart, she has to live in the house with all the noise and dust, but she's just as excited as we are.
It is 72 degrees today. I don't know what on earth we did to earn such sublime weather, but it is heavenly. It also caused me to eat extra helpings of ice cream today (sorry David), but how could I not?
In other unrelated news, Zinabu starts soccer this week. It's through the YMCA and very low-key, but his coach's name is Billie Joe. She's a woman--named Billie Joe. I didn't know whether to laugh or give her a hug.
3/1/09
It is now March. Where did it come from? This means I can no longer pussy-foot around and kind of get our house ready to move and sell. I need to actually get our house ready to move and sell. Yikes.
We have had a wonderful weekend. Zinabu is fighting the cold Carver had. It went straight to his chest and he sounds like a pack-a-day smoker. However, it did not slow him down for the big event last night: charades! After dinner we let the kids put on a talent show (Lily chose burping as her talent, if that helps you picture the moment) and then we played a raucous game of charades. I don't know what it is about charades, but Carver and Lily and Zinabu could play forever. I came up with 25 different topics to act out--from eating a lemon to a pillow fight--and we took turns acting them out. Very, very fun.
Right now Lily is back to work trying to make money in any way, shape, or form. She's creating art to sell. And how could I turn her down? She's too cute.
2/26/09
2/25/09
What's In A Name?
As Lily continues to dream of dogs, and David and I concede that there will most likely be a four-legged friend under the next Christmas tree, I can't help but think of dog names. Here are my top three:
1. Mr. Darcy
2. Edward
3. Harry Potter
Lily's top three:
1. Cookie
2. Brownie
3. Spot
I am determined to sway her.
As Lily continues to dream of dogs, and David and I concede that there will most likely be a four-legged friend under the next Christmas tree, I can't help but think of dog names. Here are my top three:
1. Mr. Darcy
2. Edward
3. Harry Potter
Lily's top three:
1. Cookie
2. Brownie
3. Spot
I am determined to sway her.
2/24/09
So, so sick. Not sure how this happened, but he's a sickie poo. Poor baby. Bummer, too, as it's a gorgeous day outside and he can't enjoy it. Meanwhile, Zinabu is entertaining me with tales of "who did what" at preschool today. For example:
Patrick and me played police and we caught Dominic but Dominic got mad at us and he pretended to shoot us and then he didn't want to play anymore and he cried so me and Patrick told him we wanted to play with him and we told him we'd play something else and then Dominic was our friend again.
If only my life were so easy!
2/23/09
Bad Blogger!
That's me. A bad, bad blogger. I've been meaning to write, but by the time I get to the computer I'm too tired. David and I had the Academy Awards on last night while doing other things, and watching Slumdog Millionaire take home all the big prizes made me feel like even more of an outcast in society. Haven't seen the movie and probably never will... Oh well.
Best thing that happened this weekend? Kids got on the jumbo-tron at the Colorado College hockey game. They always do, as I truly believe they are the only African Americans in the entire arena and it always looks good to put our kids up for the whole audience to see. But Carver, Lily, and Z loooooove it!
Worst thing that happened this weekend? Getting a call from a friend who said, "My cousin is moving to town and I know you're going to sell your house soon so we were wondering if we could come by? We'd love to look at your house. We can come by in about 3 hours, does that work?" I should have said no. But of course I said "sure," even as I looked at the breakfast dishes and the piles of laundry and the recycling overflowing under the kitchen sink. A massive cleaning epidemic ensued.
That's me. A bad, bad blogger. I've been meaning to write, but by the time I get to the computer I'm too tired. David and I had the Academy Awards on last night while doing other things, and watching Slumdog Millionaire take home all the big prizes made me feel like even more of an outcast in society. Haven't seen the movie and probably never will... Oh well.
Best thing that happened this weekend? Kids got on the jumbo-tron at the Colorado College hockey game. They always do, as I truly believe they are the only African Americans in the entire arena and it always looks good to put our kids up for the whole audience to see. But Carver, Lily, and Z loooooove it!
Worst thing that happened this weekend? Getting a call from a friend who said, "My cousin is moving to town and I know you're going to sell your house soon so we were wondering if we could come by? We'd love to look at your house. We can come by in about 3 hours, does that work?" I should have said no. But of course I said "sure," even as I looked at the breakfast dishes and the piles of laundry and the recycling overflowing under the kitchen sink. A massive cleaning epidemic ensued.
2/19/09
Recently Overheard
Zinabu: Mom, I didn't wear underpants today.*
Me: Uh, okay. I bet that was uncomfortable.
Zinabu: Heeee heee heee.
(Note to self: check Zinabu for underpants.)
Zinabu: Hey goldfish, do you miss your friends? How about I eat you and then you can be with your friends. The ones I already eated. They are in my tummy and they are calling for you. "Oh, GOLDfish" they are saying. First I will bite your head off and you will go down my throat and into my tummy. Then I will bite your fins and then all of you will be inside my tummy with your friends. How does that sound, goldfish? Then I will go to the bathroom and you can all go swimming together down the drain.
Me: Ahem!
*Vivi, looks like our kids have something in common.
Zinabu: Mom, I didn't wear underpants today.*
Me: Uh, okay. I bet that was uncomfortable.
Zinabu: Heeee heee heee.
(Note to self: check Zinabu for underpants.)
Zinabu: Hey goldfish, do you miss your friends? How about I eat you and then you can be with your friends. The ones I already eated. They are in my tummy and they are calling for you. "Oh, GOLDfish" they are saying. First I will bite your head off and you will go down my throat and into my tummy. Then I will bite your fins and then all of you will be inside my tummy with your friends. How does that sound, goldfish? Then I will go to the bathroom and you can all go swimming together down the drain.
Me: Ahem!
*Vivi, looks like our kids have something in common.
2/18/09
Bear With Me Here
After a lot of thinking and praying and facing reality, I have come to the conclusion that I just can't do it all. Especially while David is in his doctorate program and still a high school administrator. Someone in this house (me) needs to be well-rested and on the ball most of the time. And that leads me to the tough, tough decision to close my jewelry business. I'm actually posting this to give me the courage to go through with it because I don't do this lightly. I worked so hard to build it up and make it successful. But at the end of the day, when I look at my children, they need a mom, not a small-business owner.
I think if David's job were not so time-consuming, if he wasn't also taking classes, if we weren't trying to pack our house and get it ready to sell, if I didn't have 3 kids, if we weren't cleaning out my mom's house, if I didn't volunteer in Carver's and Lily's classes... If, if, if. But none of those are going to change anytime soon, so the ONE thing I can control is my business.
What's hard about giving it up? The positive feedback I get from it. The feeling of personal achievement. The knowledge that I can create something that someone else will buy. Something that is strictly by me and for me. It's positively addicting. But trying to fit all of that in on top of my family that is stretched to the limit just won't work anymore.
So while I am so sad to put aside a part of my life that was creative and fulfilling and exciting, I know deep down that I have to. I do not want to look back on my life and regret not having done everything I could for my kids. I can just tell they need more of me these days. They are fighting more and impatient more and grumpy more often than not... and it doesn't help for me to say to them, "Not now, I have to fill an order" or "Not now, I need to ship this package to Canada" or "Not now, I need to check Etsy." I want to give them all of me that they deserve, even though it is so hard sometimes. Making breakfast and playing Transformers and helping with homework won't give me the same glorious satisfaction as selling bulk orders to Australia, but I recognize the priceless value of being available to the people who need me the most.
Please do not interpret this post to be anything about working moms versus stay-at-home moms. It is not. This is strictly about me and what is happening at my house and what I need to put aside in order to make our family work a little better. I have 2 custom orders to fill and ship off today, and then I'm done. I'll pack up my supplies and write "on hold" on the box. Maybe I'll open it again in 5 months. Maybe I'll open it again in 5 years. Or maybe never. I don't know.
And as I have been saying a lot these days, thanks for listening.
After a lot of thinking and praying and facing reality, I have come to the conclusion that I just can't do it all. Especially while David is in his doctorate program and still a high school administrator. Someone in this house (me) needs to be well-rested and on the ball most of the time. And that leads me to the tough, tough decision to close my jewelry business. I'm actually posting this to give me the courage to go through with it because I don't do this lightly. I worked so hard to build it up and make it successful. But at the end of the day, when I look at my children, they need a mom, not a small-business owner.
I think if David's job were not so time-consuming, if he wasn't also taking classes, if we weren't trying to pack our house and get it ready to sell, if I didn't have 3 kids, if we weren't cleaning out my mom's house, if I didn't volunteer in Carver's and Lily's classes... If, if, if. But none of those are going to change anytime soon, so the ONE thing I can control is my business.
What's hard about giving it up? The positive feedback I get from it. The feeling of personal achievement. The knowledge that I can create something that someone else will buy. Something that is strictly by me and for me. It's positively addicting. But trying to fit all of that in on top of my family that is stretched to the limit just won't work anymore.
So while I am so sad to put aside a part of my life that was creative and fulfilling and exciting, I know deep down that I have to. I do not want to look back on my life and regret not having done everything I could for my kids. I can just tell they need more of me these days. They are fighting more and impatient more and grumpy more often than not... and it doesn't help for me to say to them, "Not now, I have to fill an order" or "Not now, I need to ship this package to Canada" or "Not now, I need to check Etsy." I want to give them all of me that they deserve, even though it is so hard sometimes. Making breakfast and playing Transformers and helping with homework won't give me the same glorious satisfaction as selling bulk orders to Australia, but I recognize the priceless value of being available to the people who need me the most.
Please do not interpret this post to be anything about working moms versus stay-at-home moms. It is not. This is strictly about me and what is happening at my house and what I need to put aside in order to make our family work a little better. I have 2 custom orders to fill and ship off today, and then I'm done. I'll pack up my supplies and write "on hold" on the box. Maybe I'll open it again in 5 months. Maybe I'll open it again in 5 years. Or maybe never. I don't know.
And as I have been saying a lot these days, thanks for listening.
2/17/09
The Weekend
I think David and I are both in agreement when we say that the past 10 days have been positively brutal. Turns out a lot of people get divorced when one spouse tries to get their doctorate, and have a full-and-a-half time job, and have a family. It has been terribly rough. We didn't see one another for more than a few minutes here and there the entire week. We are stretched way too thin, and it doesn't help that the kids are stretched thin, too. When there's not enough of mom and dad to go around, their responses are not pretty.
Our dyslexic/dysgraphia kiddo started occupational therapy for handwriting. It's a 12 week therapy course and we should see some improvement by the end. The therapists do a lot of fun activities to keep the kids motivated, meaning they do not all sit around a table and practice handwriting for an hour and a half. They do muscle strengthening and fine motor skill workouts, and practice forming letters. Our child, more or less, has to relearn how to write. I was having a pity party about the co-pays and extra work for our already wary child, but then you see some of the other children that need physical therapy, and I quickly shut my trap. We are blessed.
Carver had his big 4th grade science project to wrap up this weekend. We built a sling-shot out of PVC pipe and launched balls to see how far they would go. Do you love the cape and gloves he's got on? Apparently all in the name of science. To be fair, Carver did a lot of work on the project, but there's just no way 9 and 10 year olds can do this on their own, so it was Mom to the rescue.
Having kids in elementary school is a riot.
2/16/09
2/13/09
2/12/09
Random
I took 2 minutes and walked through the house and snapped some random photos. In no particular order:
He's really only a threat to himself.
Bun Bun, giving kisses
Two milk cartons, painted red and just waiting for Carver and Lily to make them into Valentine holders.
Our upstairs toilet with a plunger in it. It's currently clogged because a certain Ethiopian has not learned to use toilet paper in moderation.
Zinabu thinks it's funny to leave plastic spiders or snakes on my pillow. He really believes it scares me.
I took 2 minutes and walked through the house and snapped some random photos. In no particular order:
He's really only a threat to himself.
Bun Bun, giving kisses
Two milk cartons, painted red and just waiting for Carver and Lily to make them into Valentine holders.
Martin Luther King Jr.'s permanent spot on our refrigerator.
Our upstairs toilet with a plunger in it. It's currently clogged because a certain Ethiopian has not learned to use toilet paper in moderation.
Zinabu thinks it's funny to leave plastic spiders or snakes on my pillow. He really believes it scares me.
Lily's current dog choice: dalmation.
2/11/09
Be My Valentine
This is the box of valentines Lily picked out. You can understand why, with the dog and all. Well, Carver liked them so much he picked out the same box. I am very curious to see how "puppies and kittens" goes over with other 4th grade boys, but I gotta hand it to Carver. He picks what he likes.
This is the box of valentines Lily picked out. You can understand why, with the dog and all. Well, Carver liked them so much he picked out the same box. I am very curious to see how "puppies and kittens" goes over with other 4th grade boys, but I gotta hand it to Carver. He picks what he likes.
2/9/09
Retro
My mother is so going to kill me. But this is too fun. I don't have any new pictures of the kids, and you don't need to see any more pictures of me, so here is a blast from the past: my mother the vamp. There's a good chance my dad took this photo, and you can see by the ring on her finger they were engaged. She sure knew how to pose!
My mother is so going to kill me. But this is too fun. I don't have any new pictures of the kids, and you don't need to see any more pictures of me, so here is a blast from the past: my mother the vamp. There's a good chance my dad took this photo, and you can see by the ring on her finger they were engaged. She sure knew how to pose!
This one is classic! This was her "professional" look. She taught 5th grade and wore dresses and heels to work every day. Don't let the smile fool you. This woman could raise one eyebrow and give the death stare to any student who misbehaved. (She can still do it, too.)
I'm meeting with the contractor today to discuss the final house plans, and I think they'll get started ripping things apart the first week of March. Today we had a hurricane. Li-ter-a-ly! We get these crazy storms over the mountains that bring 75mph winds. It was horrible today. Poor Carver and Lily walked to school and almost died. Lily walked backward to keep the sticks and sand out of her eyes. Carver came back to the house and got his ski goggles to wear for eye protection. Who knew walking to school could be so hazardous?
2/7/09
Me and The Kitchen
Two things you must know about me. I love to bake. I hate to cook. I think if I lived alone and every night I could make whole wheat pasta with fresh tomatoes and basil for myself, cooking would be nice. But there are 4 other people who live here and sometimes I feel like all I do is feed the masses and wipe up the crumbs. I have one meat-and-potatoes husband, one child who eats only "less" food: odorless, colorless, and tasteless. I have a child that I swear has a tapeworm sharing his digestive track, and another child who starts crying if you look at her wrong while we're all eating. Fun, fun times.
The other night I made this recipe and it was amazing. Too bad the pan I used had a tiny crack in it and dripped chicken grease all over the bottom of the oven. Chicken grease on the bottom of your oven is a no-no, because it makes all your other food that you cook taste like, you guessed it, chicken grease. Soooooooo.... I thought I'd run the oven cleaning cycle early the next morning.
And that's when the oven caught fire. But the oven door was LOCKED because the SAFETY LATCH kicked in because I was using the CLEANING cycle and all I could do was watch helplessly. So billowing smoke filled our kitchen--smoke that had the distinct odor of chicken grease. It was 7am and I was trying to pack lunches and make breakfast and we had to open all the windows (and a few doors) and turn on a fan and the kids were crying that they were freezing and I reluctantly had to send them to school smelling like a house fire.
It truly is a wonder anyone ever let me parent. Truly.
Two things you must know about me. I love to bake. I hate to cook. I think if I lived alone and every night I could make whole wheat pasta with fresh tomatoes and basil for myself, cooking would be nice. But there are 4 other people who live here and sometimes I feel like all I do is feed the masses and wipe up the crumbs. I have one meat-and-potatoes husband, one child who eats only "less" food: odorless, colorless, and tasteless. I have a child that I swear has a tapeworm sharing his digestive track, and another child who starts crying if you look at her wrong while we're all eating. Fun, fun times.
The other night I made this recipe and it was amazing. Too bad the pan I used had a tiny crack in it and dripped chicken grease all over the bottom of the oven. Chicken grease on the bottom of your oven is a no-no, because it makes all your other food that you cook taste like, you guessed it, chicken grease. Soooooooo.... I thought I'd run the oven cleaning cycle early the next morning.
And that's when the oven caught fire. But the oven door was LOCKED because the SAFETY LATCH kicked in because I was using the CLEANING cycle and all I could do was watch helplessly. So billowing smoke filled our kitchen--smoke that had the distinct odor of chicken grease. It was 7am and I was trying to pack lunches and make breakfast and we had to open all the windows (and a few doors) and turn on a fan and the kids were crying that they were freezing and I reluctantly had to send them to school smelling like a house fire.
It truly is a wonder anyone ever let me parent. Truly.
2/4/09
3 Things I Learned Today While Cleaning Out My Mother's Basement
1. My mother is never, ever, ever allowed to buy any more rolls of wrapping paper. EVER. Good golly, Miss Molly. It's Party City down there...
2. My fear of spiders makes me jump around like a nut case if my fingers even brush against something and I don't know what it is.
3. Zinabu carries on long-winded conversations with me when he realizes I am stuck in one room and not going anywhere.
While my mom is overseas I promised/volunteered/got stuck with cleaning out the unfinished part of her basement. This is what we are converting into two bedrooms for the boys, and it seemed as good a place as any to begin. It's really not that bad. It's a large room with a lot of stuff in it, but I'm learning it's mostly empty boxes and they're all spread out. So once you actually get your hands dirty, it's not too bad. My dad (and I am my daddy's girl) hated clutter and always kept things pared down and tidy. My mom is more of the philosophy, "Let's just put it in the storage room and I'll deal with it later." I have to confess I get a little thrill at being able to sort and purge and toss. I'm weird that way.
Unfortunately, I keep forgetting to bring my camera with me so I have no photos yet. I must do that, because I'll never have another chance like this to do so many "before" and "after" photos.
I also finished up meeting with Jackie, aka "The Kitchen Cabinet Lady" as I've dubbed her. I bet I was her easiest client to date. We're keeping the layout of the kitchen the same, and I knew what cabinets I wanted, so wham, bam I'm done. I have gotten over the guilt of how much it costs to renovate a kitchen. That horrible, horrible guilt when you know there are children starving in the world and you are plunking down obscene amounts of money for new cabinets. Really, it made me feel gross. So I can't defend what we're doing. All I can say is we want to do all the work now so we never have to do it again. And now that I am past the guilt, I must say I am really looking forward to those cabinets.
1. My mother is never, ever, ever allowed to buy any more rolls of wrapping paper. EVER. Good golly, Miss Molly. It's Party City down there...
2. My fear of spiders makes me jump around like a nut case if my fingers even brush against something and I don't know what it is.
3. Zinabu carries on long-winded conversations with me when he realizes I am stuck in one room and not going anywhere.
While my mom is overseas I promised/volunteered/got stuck with cleaning out the unfinished part of her basement. This is what we are converting into two bedrooms for the boys, and it seemed as good a place as any to begin. It's really not that bad. It's a large room with a lot of stuff in it, but I'm learning it's mostly empty boxes and they're all spread out. So once you actually get your hands dirty, it's not too bad. My dad (and I am my daddy's girl) hated clutter and always kept things pared down and tidy. My mom is more of the philosophy, "Let's just put it in the storage room and I'll deal with it later." I have to confess I get a little thrill at being able to sort and purge and toss. I'm weird that way.
Unfortunately, I keep forgetting to bring my camera with me so I have no photos yet. I must do that, because I'll never have another chance like this to do so many "before" and "after" photos.
I also finished up meeting with Jackie, aka "The Kitchen Cabinet Lady" as I've dubbed her. I bet I was her easiest client to date. We're keeping the layout of the kitchen the same, and I knew what cabinets I wanted, so wham, bam I'm done. I have gotten over the guilt of how much it costs to renovate a kitchen. That horrible, horrible guilt when you know there are children starving in the world and you are plunking down obscene amounts of money for new cabinets. Really, it made me feel gross. So I can't defend what we're doing. All I can say is we want to do all the work now so we never have to do it again. And now that I am past the guilt, I must say I am really looking forward to those cabinets.
2/2/09
Mom
Weekend? What weekend. That went by fast. I logged onto my blog and saw the last time I had written was days ago. I was going through withdrawal!
Yesterday I said good-bye to my mom as she left for a two-week trip to Israel. I confess it did not go well for me. We are very close, and I don't like sending her across the world on airplanes (you should all know by now how I feel about those things) and to places where bombs explode. She's not supposed to be near Gaza, but still! Since my dad passed away, I cling a little tighter to her.
I don't blog about my mom much because, well... she reads the blog. But since she is out of the country for two weeks, I can take this moment to dish on her a bit. She's a lifeline to me. The person I call when things go wrong or need to chat or need to vent. She raised three children: boy, girl, boy. As I have a boy, girl, boy under my care, she makes a darn good parenting resource for me.
When my dad died a few years ago from a brain tumor, there was the trauma of the illness and then the death. It was just too much for her. She has not been the same since. I often tell my close friends, "When my dad died, I lost my mom, too." She was so altered by the grief (and she has every right to be--it was hell) she is a shell of what she used to be. I still glimpse the "old" mom I remember from before, but for the most part she functions on auto-pilot and does her best to get through each day. That is why we are moving in with her. I want her to have a life again.
I hope she has a great trip. I hope she comes back full of life and eager to do more. But I'm also glad that we're one step closer to being with her full-time.
Weekend? What weekend. That went by fast. I logged onto my blog and saw the last time I had written was days ago. I was going through withdrawal!
Yesterday I said good-bye to my mom as she left for a two-week trip to Israel. I confess it did not go well for me. We are very close, and I don't like sending her across the world on airplanes (you should all know by now how I feel about those things) and to places where bombs explode. She's not supposed to be near Gaza, but still! Since my dad passed away, I cling a little tighter to her.
I don't blog about my mom much because, well... she reads the blog. But since she is out of the country for two weeks, I can take this moment to dish on her a bit. She's a lifeline to me. The person I call when things go wrong or need to chat or need to vent. She raised three children: boy, girl, boy. As I have a boy, girl, boy under my care, she makes a darn good parenting resource for me.
When my dad died a few years ago from a brain tumor, there was the trauma of the illness and then the death. It was just too much for her. She has not been the same since. I often tell my close friends, "When my dad died, I lost my mom, too." She was so altered by the grief (and she has every right to be--it was hell) she is a shell of what she used to be. I still glimpse the "old" mom I remember from before, but for the most part she functions on auto-pilot and does her best to get through each day. That is why we are moving in with her. I want her to have a life again.
I hope she has a great trip. I hope she comes back full of life and eager to do more. But I'm also glad that we're one step closer to being with her full-time.
1/29/09
1/27/09
Impasse
This is what Lily wants, plus maybe 4 more.
This is what Lily wants, plus maybe 4 more.
This is what I want to give her. She's not going for it. It's all she talks about anymore. She even wakes up at 3 am, calls me into her room, and tells me the specifics about dog behavior and how she'll take care of it. She is nothing if not obsessed. And determined.
I think I'm going down.
1/26/09
Monday
We've all been suffering from colds here in our cozy, germ-infested home. Not bad, but sneezing and sniffling and coughing. The coughing is getting annoying. Carver and Lily are finally well enough to go to school. Zinabu doesn't have preschool on Mondays, so he and I are enjoying hot oatmeal and hot tea and hot baths. My kids have always thought the bathtub is just a miniature swimming pool, so I plopped Z in with his bucket of animals and dinosaurs. Add some fun music and he's good for the morning.
I'll spend the rest of the day paying bills and getting caught up on chores. We're also enjoying light snow, with more to come tonight. Life is ho-hum right now, but I'll take it.
We've all been suffering from colds here in our cozy, germ-infested home. Not bad, but sneezing and sniffling and coughing. The coughing is getting annoying. Carver and Lily are finally well enough to go to school. Zinabu doesn't have preschool on Mondays, so he and I are enjoying hot oatmeal and hot tea and hot baths. My kids have always thought the bathtub is just a miniature swimming pool, so I plopped Z in with his bucket of animals and dinosaurs. Add some fun music and he's good for the morning.
I'll spend the rest of the day paying bills and getting caught up on chores. We're also enjoying light snow, with more to come tonight. Life is ho-hum right now, but I'll take it.
1/22/09
Stuffing
I don't mean this kind of stuffing--the kind that goes in a large bird and is baked. I mean my kind of stuffing. The stuffing that happens when I begin to think that we are going to move in 3 to 4 months. The sweating breaks out, the to-do lists flash before my eyes in technicolor strobes, the panic of selling our house in this market overtakes my intestines. So I stuff. I stuff all those unpleasant thoughts deep down in the basement of my brain and eat more chocolate chips.
The fact that the holidays came and went so fast, and they were the last ones we would spend in our little house together, makes me teary. We moved here when Carver was 2 1/2 and Lily was a newborn. I remember their little naps each day and the way our house felt so big then. I remember first teeth and learning to walk and learning to ride bikes and learning to not play with matches (a story for another day). Of course now, with 5 of us, our house feels like it is closing in on us. For Pete's sake, we all have to share the same bathroom! So, yes, the positive side of moving is that we will gain a little more wiggle room. But oh... the negatives of the whole ordeal.
Let the stuffing commence!
1/20/09
Rockin'!
David and I successfully enjoyed a getaway to Denver this weekend. Chalk one up to marriage enrichment! Although David had to finish an enormous project and he spent most of the time working, I was able to be with him and relax and not cook, clean, or wipe noses. Really, my definition of relaxing has deteriorated, but that is neither here nor there. We stayed at a very funny hotel--its theme is pop culture, so the lobby and restaurant are very modern and streamlined. Each floor, though, has its own theme, and we were on the "Big Hair" floor.
Yes, the Big Hair floor, so it was decorated with pictures like this. As David and I have wicked senses of humor, we loved it.
We strolled around Denver when we could, because it was 65 degrees and lovely. We went to the train station to get some information for a train trip David and Carver want to take together in a few months. The building is impressive and inside it has the old wooden benches that you just imagine sitting down on and taking a midnight train somewhere.
David and I successfully enjoyed a getaway to Denver this weekend. Chalk one up to marriage enrichment! Although David had to finish an enormous project and he spent most of the time working, I was able to be with him and relax and not cook, clean, or wipe noses. Really, my definition of relaxing has deteriorated, but that is neither here nor there. We stayed at a very funny hotel--its theme is pop culture, so the lobby and restaurant are very modern and streamlined. Each floor, though, has its own theme, and we were on the "Big Hair" floor.
Yes, the Big Hair floor, so it was decorated with pictures like this. As David and I have wicked senses of humor, we loved it.
We strolled around Denver when we could, because it was 65 degrees and lovely. We went to the train station to get some information for a train trip David and Carver want to take together in a few months. The building is impressive and inside it has the old wooden benches that you just imagine sitting down on and taking a midnight train somewhere.
One of our best meals was at a Mexican restaurant where I got enchiladas with spinach and blue corn tortillas. Here me now: it was so amazing! Just seeing the photo again makes me groan and salivate.
Coming home was hard, but of course I missed my sweet kids, their hugs and kisses, and their ferocious love for me. They express it so much more after I've been gone for a day or two. And I would not have been anywhere else in the world today, but with my children... watching history.
And seeing Carver's eyes fixated on the television as Obama was sworn in
and then Carver looked at me
and he grinned
and I cried
and we rejoiced.
Well, you can't really put that into words, can you?
1/16/09
Don't Take Me Too Seriously
I love reading blogs. I could whittle away hours just reading about other families and moms. I have also met some of the nicest women {ever} through blogs. But I tend to stay away from the blogs where the mom never has anything negative to say about her children. I just can't relate to that. No one has perfect children, so it feels phony to read repeatedly on coordinated outfits, stellar behavior, and grades and intelligence. I bet they're the kinds of people who cheat on their taxes, too.
I love reading blogs. I could whittle away hours just reading about other families and moms. I have also met some of the nicest women {ever} through blogs. But I tend to stay away from the blogs where the mom never has anything negative to say about her children. I just can't relate to that. No one has perfect children, so it feels phony to read repeatedly on coordinated outfits, stellar behavior, and grades and intelligence. I bet they're the kinds of people who cheat on their taxes, too.
I also don't need to read the overly-sarcastic and negative blogs. And after yesterday's post, I think I came eerily close to falling into that category. So I took a deep breath and looked at the sunrise and drank a little more coffee and just relaxed. I love being a mom. I love the challenges life throws at me. And I love that my kids are, sometimes, up to no good and are messy. We are as real as you can get around here.
I had to cancel our credit cards--David and I had a joint account. We'll live. Report cards come home today. They will be decidedly average and yet overwhelmingly precious at the same time. David and I are attempting to try for our getaway once more. Hopefully it will work out. I can't wait to show you pictures of the hotel. It's so funky! So we're good...
From this not-perfect family to yours, have a fabulous weekend!
1/14/09
The Mother of all Days
This picture is so funny. It was taken on the last day of school before the holiday break. Do you remember me saying Lily was pretending to be Rudolph? I wasn't kidding. She and her friends are a riot. You're getting this picture because I did not take any new photos today. And with good reason...
I will look back on this day and laugh, I'm sure... in about 20 years. If you read my previous post, you'll see that my day began at 2 am cleaning up puke. A whole trail of it. (sorry if you're trying to eat right now) And my day ended digging through bags of garbage trying to find my lost credit card. That's right. GARBAGE! It had been out in the alley in our cans for a few days, getting all ripe and nasty and I had to dig through it!
Am I secretly being filmed for a reality show? Isn't this the kind of challenge that should score me 100,000 dollars? Truly, it was beyond belief. At about 11:00 this morning I realized I couldn't find my credit card and began searching. Every pocket, purse, blanket, library book, pillow, cushion, mug, towel, and crevice was scoured to no avail. The last time I used it was on Sunday, so I had to figure out where the garbage from Sunday was so I could look through that. Yeah, the garbage from SUNDAY, people! Out in the alley in our trash can.
Because cancelling that puppy is a big deal and a royal pain and I was grasping at straws, hoping it was in the trash.
But no. It wasn't.
Let's see what's on tap for tomorrow, shall we? A slug eating contest? Oh no, how about sewage back flow in our basement? Better yet, my whole family will erupt in boils and we'll have to smear salve on ourselves!
Thank you for letting me vent.
This picture is so funny. It was taken on the last day of school before the holiday break. Do you remember me saying Lily was pretending to be Rudolph? I wasn't kidding. She and her friends are a riot. You're getting this picture because I did not take any new photos today. And with good reason...
I will look back on this day and laugh, I'm sure... in about 20 years. If you read my previous post, you'll see that my day began at 2 am cleaning up puke. A whole trail of it. (sorry if you're trying to eat right now) And my day ended digging through bags of garbage trying to find my lost credit card. That's right. GARBAGE! It had been out in the alley in our cans for a few days, getting all ripe and nasty and I had to dig through it!
Am I secretly being filmed for a reality show? Isn't this the kind of challenge that should score me 100,000 dollars? Truly, it was beyond belief. At about 11:00 this morning I realized I couldn't find my credit card and began searching. Every pocket, purse, blanket, library book, pillow, cushion, mug, towel, and crevice was scoured to no avail. The last time I used it was on Sunday, so I had to figure out where the garbage from Sunday was so I could look through that. Yeah, the garbage from SUNDAY, people! Out in the alley in our trash can.
Because cancelling that puppy is a big deal and a royal pain and I was grasping at straws, hoping it was in the trash.
But no. It wasn't.
Let's see what's on tap for tomorrow, shall we? A slug eating contest? Oh no, how about sewage back flow in our basement? Better yet, my whole family will erupt in boils and we'll have to smear salve on ourselves!
Thank you for letting me vent.
Consistency
We're 2 for 2 at our house now. Carver began throwing up at 2 am last night. Another night time vomit cleaning spree. I'll spare you the details but it was a doozie. I am considering tarps for the kids' floors at my mom's house instead of carpet. I think one of the harder things about motherhood is the way your days change on a dime. One day everyone is healthy and you make plans and appointments and play dates, and the next day kids are sick and you're trapped inside and start wondering how long this tummy virus will take to run through the entire family.
It's part of the job. I can't complain. Every other mom has done it too. It's possible I'll give the mop and bleach to David next time, though. I really feel like he's missing out.
We're 2 for 2 at our house now. Carver began throwing up at 2 am last night. Another night time vomit cleaning spree. I'll spare you the details but it was a doozie. I am considering tarps for the kids' floors at my mom's house instead of carpet. I think one of the harder things about motherhood is the way your days change on a dime. One day everyone is healthy and you make plans and appointments and play dates, and the next day kids are sick and you're trapped inside and start wondering how long this tummy virus will take to run through the entire family.
It's part of the job. I can't complain. Every other mom has done it too. It's possible I'll give the mop and bleach to David next time, though. I really feel like he's missing out.
1/12/09
1/9/09
Revelations
1. Lily loves her rabbit. Pregnancy, though, does not look good on her.
2. Having a husband that works 60 hours a week and is working toward his PhD is impossible. Something needs to give, and we don't know yet what it will be.
3. Cleaning up vomit at 3 am is probably my least favorite thing in the universe. I think every time my kids have thrown up it has been in the dead of night.
4. If you don't go to Target, you will not spend money. Deep down I know this is true, but I'm really putting it to practice this month.
5. You can sneak pureed carrots into lots of recipes and your kids won't know.
6. Doing extra lunges at the end of your workout means you won't be able to walk the next day.
7. The older I get, the more pet peeves I have. I feel ashamed, as if I am less tolerant of people each year.
8. Zinabu does not throw temper tantrums. I just figured this out in the last month or so. Instead, he will argue with you until he is blue in the face. I would take a temper tantrum any day over his constant negotiations.
9. In less than 6 months, we will move into my mom's house. Where did the time go?
10. I wish my minivan could transform into a convertible MG when I am driving alone.
1/7/09
1/5/09
Big Sister
Lily has a sister. A biological sister. She is 8 and her name is Asia. Do the math. Asia is 8, Lily is 7. So Lily's birth mom had a 12 month old baby when Lily was born. David met Asia and Lily's biological mother when he flew to North Carolina to pick up Lily. We've talked with Lily a lot about her adoption story, but not a lot about her biological family because 1) we don't have a lot of information about them and 2) it's really painful. But out of the blue a few weeks ago a letter arrived for Lily (sent via her adoption agency) and it was from her sister Asia. It was the sweetest letter ever and it opened the door to more communication. The part that David and I marveled over was when Asia wrote, "I really love animal and I want to be an animal doctor when I grow up. Do you like animals?" Talk about a genetic disposition!!!! No one is more ga-ga over animals than Lily. Lily immediately wrote her back--all by herself. She is so excited for this new relationship.
Is it exciting? Yes! Is it hard? Absolutely! David and I have read plenty of books and articles on talking to your adopted child and bonding with your adopted child and how to relate to your adopted child. But books and articles really don't prepare you for the exact emotions and trauma your specific child may feel at any given time. So at times we feel as if we're doing the best we can as we go along.
One day at a time, right?
Lily has a sister. A biological sister. She is 8 and her name is Asia. Do the math. Asia is 8, Lily is 7. So Lily's birth mom had a 12 month old baby when Lily was born. David met Asia and Lily's biological mother when he flew to North Carolina to pick up Lily. We've talked with Lily a lot about her adoption story, but not a lot about her biological family because 1) we don't have a lot of information about them and 2) it's really painful. But out of the blue a few weeks ago a letter arrived for Lily (sent via her adoption agency) and it was from her sister Asia. It was the sweetest letter ever and it opened the door to more communication. The part that David and I marveled over was when Asia wrote, "I really love animal and I want to be an animal doctor when I grow up. Do you like animals?" Talk about a genetic disposition!!!! No one is more ga-ga over animals than Lily. Lily immediately wrote her back--all by herself. She is so excited for this new relationship.
Is it exciting? Yes! Is it hard? Absolutely! David and I have read plenty of books and articles on talking to your adopted child and bonding with your adopted child and how to relate to your adopted child. But books and articles really don't prepare you for the exact emotions and trauma your specific child may feel at any given time. So at times we feel as if we're doing the best we can as we go along.
One day at a time, right?
1/1/09
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