Big Sister

Lily has a sister. A biological sister. She is 8 and her name is Asia. Do the math. Asia is 8, Lily is 7. So Lily's birth mom had a 12 month old baby when Lily was born. David met Asia and Lily's biological mother when he flew to North Carolina to pick up Lily. We've talked with Lily a lot about her adoption story, but not a lot about her biological family because 1) we don't have a lot of information about them and 2) it's really painful. But out of the blue a few weeks ago a letter arrived for Lily (sent via her adoption agency) and it was from her sister Asia. It was the sweetest letter ever and it opened the door to more communication. The part that David and I marveled over was when Asia wrote, "I really love animal and I want to be an animal doctor when I grow up. Do you like animals?" Talk about a genetic disposition!!!! No one is more ga-ga over animals than Lily. Lily immediately wrote her back--all by herself. She is so excited for this new relationship.

Is it exciting? Yes! Is it hard? Absolutely! David and I have read plenty of books and articles on talking to your adopted child and bonding with your adopted child and how to relate to your adopted child. But books and articles really don't prepare you for the exact emotions and trauma your specific child may feel at any given time. So at times we feel as if we're doing the best we can as we go along.

One day at a time, right?


Heather & Adam said...

You said it. We are going to have so many days where we have to trudge through unfamiliar waters.
Luckily, our kids are so so so worth it, and we ourselves are pretty damn awesome, huh? Hehe.

cathy said...

{Smooches Heather}
Thanks, girl!

Mark and Sarah said...

Hi Cathy,
Ditto what Heather said!
I'd like to email you if it's possible. I would like to seek some advice...I think you should have access to my email since I checked the "Email follow-up comments" box, but if not, you can reach me through my Etsy account, my username is sewyummy.

Pam McMahon said...

After literally taping your card to my computer so I won't forget I finally found your blog. So amazed by your ability to do this! Your children are so beautiful, Cath, and it is so great to read about your life with them.

On another note...can I ask how Grace is doing now?

cathy said...


(heart failure!) I miss you!!!

Grace is great. It was encephilitis and she is home. She has had another seizure, though, and doctors don't know if that will be a lifelong complication after the brain tauma.

Keep in touch!

Mama Papaya said...

I look at my girls and think about all of the things I need to teach them. Seriously, use utensils already kid! And then I look in the mirror and marvel at all of the things they have already taught me. And now your daughter teaches me yet more. Imagine what they will one day be able to teach their children and their children them.

Courtney Orrange said...

you're such a great mom. peace to you guys as this new relationship grows.

hotflawedmama said...

unfamiliar water...can't imagine...

You'll get through it with grace as always.

What a beautiful, sweet girl you have. Her heart and excitement at the news was just precious.

Chatter said...

Wow. That's good stuff. And I have to say my favorite part was their love for animals. That is too cute. Good luck with the unfamiliar waters. It's scary. You guys kick butt! You'll do a wonderful job with whatever comes your way! HUGS :)

Deirdre said...

What a wonderful development! I can only imagine how much this must mean to Lily, even if the emotions are difficult, mixed, heart-wrenching at times.

You're right, there's no guide book that actually works when you're dealing with the infinite possibilities of human interaction. I guess all we can do is be as real and present as we can—and it seems you and David do a helluva job at that.