I am surprised at and wary of how fast my kids are growing. I mean, yesterday they were babies with ear infections and tomorrow they'll be leaving for college. Ack! Before long, I will be losing my all-encompassing influence over their lives and they'll begin testing the waters of life, making bigger and bigger decisions, and probably making some mistakes. I can't help but wonder if I shouldn't have an arsenal of weapons to "help" them make better choices. For example, if they break curfew or get caught skipping class, I feel I need to have some consequences in place to ensure they won't be tempted to repeat the infraction. So far, here's what I've come up with:

I could start my own club to bring back the "jumpsuit" and have regular meetings at our home.

How about wearing an "I love David Hasselhoff" t-shirt every day for a week?

Even better, I dress up in full Southern Belle regalia to pick them up at school.

I could threaten them with a mural for the family van.

Stand across the street from where they're hanging out with friends and tell all their cute baby stories with a bull horn.

This is fetching...

I would only use this as a last resort, but I never say never.


hotflawedmama said...

That is hilarious, particularly the naked rollerskating. I'm a fan.

Heatherbean said...

Cathy...I am certain that these parenting techniques NEED to be printed in book form. You're sitting on a goldmine, woman!

Vivi said...

Your lucky kids! Once again confirming that Lily's creativity is inspired by her mama!

Anne said...

Brilliant!!! :D Make them sorry they ever had the nerve to even THINK about growing up!

Also, friend them on facebook and...well, you obviously know what to do!