What Is Parenting?

Parenting is the scariest thing... ever. And it is the best thing... ever. And the hardest and the craziest and the most rewarding... ever. And I knew this day would come. And I knew we'd done everything we could to prepare for it. And we hoped and prayed he would have the strength to stand up for himself. And he did.

Carver was offered drugs today. A little bit of pot. Right after school at track practice.

Have you considered how old your kids will be the first time they'll have to deal with this? Did you imagine 12? We had assumed it could happen, though of course I didn't want it to happen. But it did. And it will to your kids, also. Sometime. Carver attends one of the best schools in our district. There is not a history of drug problems at his school. This was not from a friend of his. This could happen in any town, in any place (not just school--think camp, playgrounds, the pool, you name it), at any time. Sometimes kids make dumb choices and offer those dumb choices to other kids. I am relieved to report that he said "No" and immediately told a teacher. He did everything right.

Funnily enough, this all came out when we were eating dinner. I asked everyone to go around and describe something interesting that happened to them today. When it was Carver's turn, he said, "Well, this was kind of  interesting and kind of bad." And he told us the story. I think I should get an Academy Award for my acting skills--for not completely freaking out and running out the door screaming my head off. Instead, I just looked him in the eye and told him how insanely proud I was. Then we all applauded for him and gave him high-fives. I know that how we reacted went a long way in his willingness to say no in the future, and to tell us about it.

So score one for our family today. Just one though. We have years ahead of us. And two more kids.



Chatter said...

Score 100 for your family!!! That is so wondeful (and scary) Cathy. Now please share with all of us your secrets to 'not freaking out' and how you won't stalk the parking lot of his school for the next week :)

Way to go mom & dad and especially sweet Carver!!

Julie said...

Wow, wow, WOW! I would have freaked. Nice going. What a family!

rebekah said...

Wow. So proud of your son. SO PROUD! And thrilled he got confirmation from you all - he knows you have his back no matter what.

jayme said...

So impressed, both with Carver's response to the situation and ability to tell you guys what happened, and also with your response! Nice work!

Rachel said...

Wow. 12!!!!! Aaack. Way to go Carver and Cathy.

hotflawedmama said...

Oooh, goosebumps and tears. I'm not ready for that. I'm not a great actress. :)

Awesome job! Awesome family! Tell Carver he's getting mad props from mamas across the Nation today!

Courtney O. said...

when did you start talking to your kids about drugs and sex? My guess is that we'll have an idea when it's the right time but hearing what others have done helps me.

great job carver!

(and awesome pic of him !)

Mama Papaya said...

I am so proud of your son. And so proud of you. And so very frightened for us all.

Vivi said...

Holy crap. Way to go, Carver and thanks for the reminder of what is REAL out there for our LITTLE kids.

Wow - had you already had the "just say no" talk with him? When do you do that? Apparently, before 12!! But how much more before 12.

Can I send my kids to you to learn? I don't know how to do this.

Shonda said...

Wow, what an awesome story. What an awesome dinner. What an awesome kid! I loved this and loved the follow-up story of how to talk to your kids.

LaNeia said...

Wow - we need to have a talk with our son (almost 9) about that kind of thing. That and cigarettes. Kids are increasingly picking up the habit at younger and younger ages. Geez....its never easy is it?