Last night I couldn't sleep. I was lying awake--thinking about everything and nothing. And I began to think about Zinabu.

Days lived in Ethiopia = 1300

Days lived in The United States = 900

He has still spent more of his life without us than he has with us. That is mind-boggling to me. It feels like he's been with us forever, and it hurts my heart that he had years without us. True, he was with his biological relatives for those first years, and that is beautiful... but we still mourn the fact that his life has been divided.

On the days that Zinabu pushes me to my limit, when he exhausts me (ok, like every day) I often wonder what he would be like in Ethiopia. Would he be as loud? Would he talk all the time like he does here? Would he collapse into bed each night from sheer exhaustion? What would his favorite food be if it wasn't blackberries? Would he hate being told "no" the same way he does now?

I'll never know... but I love him lots. I can't wait until we can celebrate the fact that he's been with our family longer than anyone else.