Things No One Tells You...

There's a conspiracy--things no one tells you will happen when you have kids.

1) You will forever take showers with toys in the tub.
2) Every child will want to eat their pancakes differently--one with butter and syrup, one with just syrup but cut into little pieces, one with butter and a little sprinkle of sugar. Making pancakes here is an art form.
3) You might have to read the same book every night for a good 3 years if it's your child's favorite.
4) You don't set goals for yourself like, "I want to finish a marathon" or "I want to read the works of Shakespeare". Your goals are whittled down to "I want everyone to eat a vegetable today."
5) If math was never your thing, you will feel like a complete LOSER when you help your 3rd grader with a word problem.
6) You are utterly speechless when you park at the mall by the restaurants and your child asks "What's Hooters?"