Pass the tissues, please. Nothing says weeping and crying like writing your will. Honestly, between the medication I need to take to calm myself enough to get on an airplane, and updating my will so that my children don't become wards of the state, going on a 3 day trip with my hubby is about as fun as a colonoscopy. I just finished leaving my three precious children to the written care of my mom should I die in a fiery plane crash or severe car wreck. So fabulous. I also had to declare should anything happen to my mom, that my brother take over responsibilities. It just gets more and more nightmarish.

Meanwhile, I look at my three beautiful kiddos and every wrong they have ever done, every bad choice or stupid behavior is suddenly forgotten. They're angels. Perfect angels. And yet every bad mothering moment I've ever had is suddenly in the forefront of my mind. I am convinced I'm the worst mother in the world--and while I'm gone my kids will only remember my bad moments. So even though we leave on our trip in two days, I am in utter agony here. What a fun traveling companion I'll be!


Heather & Adam said...

I think that the contents of this post are evidence that YOU NEED THIS TRIP! Hehe...You will have a great time once you get going!
I am dreading the will thing too, though...who can decide all that? Eeek.

Deirdre said...

Oh, Cathy, what distressing thoughts to be suffering with! Of course once you're safely on the ground in San Anton' you'll have a wonderful time, but I'm sorry you're dealing with all this worry now. Just remember that you're a wonderful mom, your kids love you, and a few days' absence will make those hearts grow even fonder!!

Anne said...

You sound exactly like me before I leave on a trip. Exactly.

I'm full of empathy for you, and hope you have a wonderful time once you're there!

Anonymous said...

Hello - this is Unca David's niece, Kate. I must admit - I found your blog while checking out refrigerator pictures at Dad's house! I have been thoroughly encouraged by many of the things you have written about your children - and the trip thing? Isn't it wonderful how God gives us such an attachment to our children? It's their own built in security blanket - even with all the mistakes we mama's do make. I hope you don't mind me introducing myself in such an uncommon way!
P.S. Appreciated seeing Pride and Prejudice on the movies to watch list - when I had mono last year I watched it more than a few times - when I was awake!