12/13/11

Weepy, Whiny, Wednesday
I said I would allow myself one day a week to whine. You're in luck. Today's the day.

Things are in a weird holding pattern. As in... I'm holding my breath, Lily's holding together, my mom holds my hand, and David holds the boys. We're holding it in, holding out for a miracle, and holding our heads up high.

However, at night I weep. I weep into my pillow and wonder how on earth I will get up the next day and do it all over again. Lily is still not in school. Still not where her doctors want her to be. Still not okay. Still on medication that could cause permanent damage to her body. Still missing out on a lot of life.

I am not taking nearly as many photographs as I used to because I'm afraid that when I look back on them in a few years, I will remember only the pain and heartache of this season. I am ready for 2011 to be O.V.E.R. No guarantees that 2012 will be any better. It could be worse. But as far as 2011 is concerned, stick a fork in it. It's done.

9 comments:

Julie said...

Cathy, what can we do to help you guys? Please let us know.

cathy said...

Oh Julie. If you have a magic wand, feel free to come on over. Otherwise, just your sweet support. Thanks so much!

Chatter said...

Cathy, big fat suckie for 2011 for you all. I'm sorry. I've been thinking of you all so much and wishing I had a magic wand to wave and make everything better. Strength & love friend!

Mark and Sarah said...

Thanks for coming here to vent. We love to support you from afar. Wishing you a MUCH brighter 2012. Holding out and praying for a miracle too.

Vivi said...

Ugh...I'm so sorry, Cathy. I ache for you. I totally understand about not taking pictures - only to be reminded of a bad time. One day at a time, girl. One day at a time.

M and M said...

huggin' and lovin' and holdin'on to wishes for a better 2012 for your family. Hold your family hands (so grateful you can hold your mom's hand) and let us hold yours.

Bridget said...

loving you from Northern Colorado...

hotflawedmama said...

love you, friend.

AnnMarie & Nick said...

Hope you can feel the love and support I'm sending you... Thinkinig of your entire family and hoping 2012 looks brighter.