Would you believe me if I told you I actually forgot about my blog? Pathetic, but sincerely true. I've been coasting along these days and have remembered some amazing things, but the blog has not been one of them. I've remembered appointments and bills and birthdays and laundry and maintaining everyone's sanity, yet the little ol' internet gets put on the back burner. Sorry about that.
We've had a great fall. Carver's first high school cross country season was spectacular. We watched him grow and mature in ways I wasn't even expecting. And he's a good runner. I'm secretly thrilled that he's falling in love with the sport. So much so we're running a half marathon together in just a few weeks. This photo is Carver with some of his teammates, and they have become tight, tight friends. High school is hard--not gonna' lie. The homework is ridiculous, the hours my extroverted child puts in at school between student government and sports is exhausting, and the new responsibilities are frightening. And yet, it is such an exhilarating time of life for Carver I am completely thrilled for him.
Lily is continuing to enjoy doing school from home. It just plain works for her. I love the freedom she feels with her online homeschool program, and I like that she's learning at her own pace and speed. She's able to work way ahead whenever she wishes, and she does. There are other days that she slows down, which is exactly what she needs, as well. Her health is stable, and for that--above all--I am grateful, grateful, grateful.
Zinabu is turning into a little man, and my heart is breaking a bit each day as I watch my youngest grow up too quickly. It feels unfair that the years go by so fast, but that I have him in my life at all is a blessing of the greatest magnitude--how can I complain? He turns 10 today! And he's celebrating by taking a train trip to Seattle with David. They are off on their grand adventure, and he was the most excited child. Ever. I think he loves travel. I think it's going to be a big part of his life.
As for me, I'm just hanging on for the ride. That's how it feels most days. I'm still working part time and still living most days in my van. I'm still happy to get a run in first thing in the morning, and I'm grouchy when I don't get enough sleep. I feel a bit frozen during this period of mothering--frozen in the sense that I'm stuck in the busiest years of parenting and unable to contribute much to anything else. There are days I feel bad about that. I read about all the amazing things my friends are doing in their lives and I don't come close to their philanthropy or brilliance. But I'm here for my kids when they need me, and for now that's exactly where I should be.