Wordless Wednesday

Monday... Again?

Back from a great vacation. Truly heavenly. I slept in. I can't remember the last time I uttered those three words. Months for sure. Possibly a year.

Back to doctor appointments. It's always interesting when the specialist looks at your child, rubs his forehead, and says, "Hmmmm."

A prescription for new meds that are not generic. Lord have mercy.

I feel quite ill-equipped for this. Really, I do. This is borderline hilarious. The side effects of Lily's meds are nothing to sneeze at, and all I can do is pray they don't affect her in any way except positive. Wake Lily up with a kiss, hand her some juice and pills, watch her swallow them, pray for divine intervention, get on with our day, and repeat.

Our trip to London is 99.9% not happening. Oddly, I have not shed one tear. I'm pretty pissed off, but I haven't been hiding in the bathroom with the Kleenex. Yet.

Zinabu is pestering me to start the next Harry Potter book. I like to stretch them out and make my kids wait a while before reading the next one in the series. I think I've put him off as long as I can. He's begun to shoot me nasty looks while holding the book in his hands. I will give in.

Carver is done with the wrestling season. Hooray and amen and pass the extra hours I now have in my day. Love him and love the sport, but glad that's done with for now.

And how in the heck is it that Christmas is less than 4 weeks away? I. Am. Screwed. Don't look for Christmas cards from us this year. If I have a burst of inspiration or time, possibly. But don't hold your breath. Well, I'm sure you don't hold your breath over our holiday cards to begin with, but especially not this year. Today is Cyber Monday and I feel I should be snatching up all that free shipping and super savings, but all I'm doing is picking up stray socks and resigning myself to the fact that I'll be paying full-price for everything in three weeks.

Super.

We are outta here. Gone. On vacation. Off to the mountains to spend some much-needed time together. I can't wait to sleep in and spend time with David and watch the kids goof off. Happy Thanksgiving all. Be thankful for your health, your life, everything. "in everything give thanks."

Music

First of all, you have no idea how close I've come to cutting my hair. Every day this week my finger has quivered over the phone number for Charity, my awesome hair cutter. I have hardly seen Charity over the last year and a half--except for the occasional trim. My finger quivers, I tell you. But I've restrained. So far. Still, with the trip to London currently curbed, what is the point in clogged shower drains, hair on my sweaters, and hair getting caught in my jacket zipper (that's a new one...)?

Rebekah just posted about music and its influence in our lives, and she encouraged us to do our own blog post about music. I had to think awhile about this one, because music used to be very, very important to me. Not that it isn't anymore, but these days I don't have a lot of time to sit and think about music like I used to. Music used to be a constant background. It defined the moments of my life. My friends and I would make mixes for each other, each one a soundtrack to our season in time. And you name any U2 album and I can tell you where I was when I first heard it, the people in my life when it was released, kissing my teenage boyfriend(s) while it was playing, where I was living when I saw them in concert, how many miles I would run to each song, what I was wearing when I met Bono in person, which singles made me weak in the knees, and the fact that my two boys play instruments because of my love for Adam's bass and Larry's drums... well, the rest is history.

These days, I try to keep up on new bands, but mostly I listen to Pandora and just let it choose for me. There's freedom in that though, right? Music is also a curse these days, because my husband works at a high school and is required to chaperon school dances. So music keeps me from time with my husband, and his evenings are spent separating kids from bumping and grinding to "today's" music. Not so fun.

Sometimes I hate music. When I am required to listen to it at the multiple doctor's offices we've been to lately. Sitting in a waiting room, waiting to see a specialist who may or may not have good news about your daughter's condition and you are forced to listen to Air Supply or muzak or (gasp) horror or horrors: country. It makes me feel claustrophobic and like I'm going to break out in hives.

And even though I am morally opposed to any kind of Christmas decor or advertising or lights while we have yet to celebrate Thanksgiving, I confess I get really excited knowing that Christmas music is right around the corner. I love me some Christmas music. It makes me feel 5 years old again for some reason. Plus, it has a magical way of making Zinabu's tone deaf rendition of "Jingle Bells" sound perfect and sweet to my ears.

I wonder what my kids will like for music. I wonder if I will have to redirect them or influence them, like if they suddenly find Weird Al fascinating. I wonder if they will even care. Carver so loves playing music that I just know he will be the kid who listens to indie rappers as well as show tunes. He is incredibly versatile in music likes. He will listen to music for the sake of music. I love that! Lily does not care one whit about music. She would rather be riding horses. However, she thinks Lady Gaga is unique. She's not allowed to see much of what Lady Gaga wears or listen to non-kid friendly songs, but Lily would rather go for someone who is pushing the envelope as opposed to someone safe. And Z? Who knows. He has his own soundtrack beating in his head. He has spent the last year and a half in drum lessons, and I am starting to see the effect of that when he's at school: tapping his pencil unconsciously in his lap, bobbing his head up and down while reading. He loves loud thumpa-thumpa music, and we have a hard time helping him wind down after a good dance party in our basement. I think for him music is all about fun.

Mostly I feel fortunate to live in this generation where I can access ANY music at the touch of a button. How fortunate we are. When Zinabu came to live with us, we had Ethiopian music streaming on our laptop for him. I can go from King Yellowman reggae to Frank Sinatra in one second while I'm making dinner. And I can pretend I'm an angry punk rocker while Pink vibrates the doors of my minivan. Music can be an escape for an especially hard day, and it can take me back to summer camp in one second flat.

Is there anything else in the world like it?

Happy Birthday, Zinabu

He is 8. My youngest is 8. My sweet Zinabu from the other side of the world is now 8 years old. He's been with us longer than he was in Ethiopia: 3.5 years there, and 4.5 years here. That's amazing. He is one of my greatest blessings. I love you, Z Man! Enjoy the photos. I had fun going through them all. And at the end, if you've been following my blog since the beginning, you might remember the classic "C is for Cookie" video that he sang when he'd been with us for only a few weeks. Still makes me laugh and cry all at the same time.

Our referral picture. The first time we saw his face.

With us for just a few weeks. He loved all things goggles and glasses.

Always smiling. Always. He even smiles in his sleep.

Precious.

Quirky.

Totally a Daddy's boy.

Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!
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No More Mrs. Whiny Pants

My family. Lily looking sweet while the boys ignore me. Please note my fab husband is in the
background doing dishes! Love him.

All right. Starting now I am back to my regular blogging schedule, and I will allow myself one day a week to report on the doldrums we're currently experiencing. One day a week to flame out and cry. That should be enough. The rest of the week I'll be blogging like it's 1999--or something close to that.

We had no school on Friday, but the girls Volleyball team from David's school made it to the state finals, so Friday and Saturday were spent at the Denver Coliseum watching multiple volleyball games. Our team placed second in the state, and we all lost our voices cheering them on.

Last night my friend Tesi hosted the Wine to Water event in her hometown. If you have not met Tesi, I recommend you find some time in your life to do so. She rocks the entire world. I can't wait to hear all about the event and hear how much money they raised to bring clean drinking water to those who need it most.

I have also, FINALLY, updated Bridget's link in my "Places I Go..." section. You definitely want to check in with her because she is DAYS away from going to Ethiopia for the first time and meeting her son. I am all aflutter with joy for her. Her adoption journey has been unbelievably grueling. It's a great occasion to break open some champagne.

Thanks for all your continued love and support. I love you right back!

Life is just so, so hard right now. I'm sorry to not have anything more exciting to say, but that's the truth. It's hard. I'm not saying I won't blog anymore, but how many times do I feel like sitting in front of the computer to face the reality of my very crummy situation? Um... not really. It's enough that I have to live it during the day. I'm not eager to re-live it when I try to blog.

We are waiting on multiple medications to make Lily feel better. But until we get there, it's just hunker down and make the most of each day. Sorry I have nothing else to tell you.

Remember When?
Remember when I used to update my blog almost daily? And I had high hopes of incorporating multi-cultural themes into the posts? And remember when I did book reviews?

I do. I miss that. Right now I have exactly 15 minutes to myself, and I'm going to tell you about an awesome little book. Thank You, Sarah by Laurie Halse Anderson. This sweet book tells the story of Sarah Hale and her letter writing campaign to make Thanksgiving a national holiday. The best part of this book is that it really depicts Sarah as the strong, independent, fierce superwoman that she was. She did some amazing things in her lifetime--organizing a national holiday being just one of them. As the book states, "Superheroes work the hardest when things get tough." It's a feel-good story that introduces your kids to the history behind Thanksgiving, with a little "go change the world" attitude thrown in on the side. Totally awesome. I hope you can find it at your library right now.

Halloween
Halloween was just what we needed: a night to pretend things are normal and ok around here. We were blessed with incredible weather--a rare event in Colorado. I think over the last 5 years Halloween has been cold or snowy. This year it was 70 degrees that day, so no need for mittens, coats, or snow boots over costumes. Lily was a cowgirl and Zinabu was the most hilarious looking werewolf. Carver (not pictured) went trick-or-treating with his best friend. It was our first time without him, and I was sad for me but happy for him that he got to go have so much fun.

Buddy's costume was from the vet. He got to be a cone head because he impaled his leg on a branch last week and needed a bunch of stitches. Just when we thought we wouldn't have any more unforeseen expenses, we got to pay the vet a big ol' pile of money for surgery. Whoopee.

I have been avoiding Facebook and blogs, only because when things are so sad here it's hard to read about other people's happy families. I know that no family is perfect, and that everyone is dealing with their own stuff. I get that. But I'm especially sensitive to the fact that things around here are crappy and it just plain hurts to be reminded of it every time I turn around. That's the great challenge in grief and pain, isn't it? To deal with it at home, let people help you as best they can, but still face the world with grace--even joy, as you then celebrate life going on in other people's lives. I'm learning how to do that. It's not easy at all, but I'm learning.