Some amazing things happened this week:

1. Zinabu's Certificate of Citizenship for the United States of America came in the mail. In some states you wait up to 6 months for them to issue that certificate, but I guess here in Colorado the Department of Homeland Security is having a slow season. I mailed our application in 2 weeks ago. Amazing. I wish I could describe the feelings of joy and relief that washed over me when the mail carrier rang my doorbell and had me sign for the document. I am so, so relieved. No more waking up in a cold sweat at night, remembering that I have to get this done. It's done!

2. One of my kids began taking an anti-depressant. I write those words and I think, "Is this my life? Has it really come to this?" Indeed it has. The doctor we saw this week confirmed what we suspected--and what the counselor suggested--that our kiddo suffers from anxiety, a little OCD, and because of that some mood disorders. Amazing that what we thought had been years of strong-willed behavior turned out to be brain chemistry. We are starting with a super low dose and seeing if this brand works with our kid's brain. I am so excited to think they could begin having relief from being anxious a lot of the time. As hard as it is for me to be in this place--this place of diagnosis and medicine and therapy and rough days--there are far, far, far worse things we could be struggling with.

3. I was with two separate groups of moms yesterday and I heard two blatantly racist comments. The first group of women I had a lot in common with. The second group of women I had almost nothing in common with except that we all have children and we love them very much. I was floored at their ignorance, their snobby-ness, their superiority.

4. My friend Sarah rocks this world. 5 for 5 has raised over $20,000 for famine relief in east Africa. And she was featured in the Huffington Post. Read it! I'm praying the publicity spreads and we make it to $50,000 by the end of September. If you already gave, thank you! If you haven't, what are you waiting for?

5. In one month I will have a teenager. Let us not speak of this any more.

6. Last night we went to the first high school football game of the season. It is officially fall.

7. I called the IRS to find out about the status of our refund. You know the one. The one we filed for back in February? After waiting on hold, they were able to tell me they haven't even looked at our paperwork yet. I can expect another 60 day wait before they tell me anything, and it could very well be that they tell me to wait some more.

8. Despite all my best efforts, I am amazed at how many times I still fail as a mom. And despite all my failures, I am amazed at how sweetly and deeply my kids love me. I am amazingly blessed.


hotflawedmama said...

1) yay! (COC).

2) I'm thrilled for your babe who will now feel freedom that comes with no more/much smaller anxiety. I'm sure it's a surreal place to be in, but I can't wait to hear how your babe is feeling after some time. :) Please give said babe extra hugs from me.

3) gross.

4) Sarah is amazing. Love it.

5) gulp

6) love fall

7) effin IRS. Have you talked to the tax advocacy service yet?

8) you are an amazing mom. The love you pour out on your kids comes back, that's just the way it is.

Love to you.

Bridget said...

Can we please, please, PLEASE go out sometime??? I want to digest all this in person.

Cindy said...

I will just second everything Tesi wrote.
Sorry the IRS is being so terrible and that people are jackasses :(

jayme said...

1. I am amazed at how quickly you got Z's COC. Ours took 8 months, and we had to go downtown to pick them up! Hooray for crossing that one off your list!

2. Hoping your kiddo finds peace and balance. Constant anxiety is so hard to manage! Sending hugs and positive energy!

3. ugh. It always upsets me when people I otherwise respect make comments that show their ignorance. I use those moments as a reminder of just how far we have to go. (by the way, are you aware of this symposium? It's put on by the same people who do the WPC, and I can't tell you how tempted I am to hop a plane to Colorado just for the day to go to this! http://www.whiteprivilegeconference.com/symposium.html

4. Sarah is incredible!

5. whoa. hit pause, quick!

6. Fall is lovely. I am so ready for cooler temperatures, changing leaves, apple cider, pumpkins, etc. I will hold my tongue re: football.

7. I really hope the IRS sends you a fat check with all of the interest you would have earned on the money they're holding hostage. This situation is beyond ridiculous, and I'm so sorry you're still having to deal with their ineptitude. I would not have nearly as much grace as you've shown.

8. I don't like hearing the word "fail" as it relates to parenting. I definitely think that there are times when we *all* could do better, and *everybody* makes mistakes (sometimes small and sometimes life-changing). But to me, FAILURE entails so much more than that.

Don't be so hard on yourself. All three of your kids are phenomenal young people in their own rights, and you and David are providing them with consistent, strong, loving examples of how to be compassionate, thoughtful, and engaged citizens of this world. I have no doubt that all three of your children know how much they are loved, even if they sometimes struggle with aspects of how that love is shown. And even if you sometimes don't meet your own expectations of how to best parent them. You are amazing, Cathy. Don't forget that!