8/23/10

Another School Year

School started last Wednesday and it was fantastic. Lily and Z are still at their elementary school, and Carver has "moved up" to middle school. They were excited to meet their teachers, meet new friends, greet the old friends, and use their new lunch boxes and backpacks. I love the first day of school mostly because they all wake up early and on their own make their beds and brush their teeth without being reminded. It's the only day of the year that happens, so I pour myself a second cup of coffee and enjoy it. Carver is liking middle school. Likes changing classes and having a locker and having some extra curricular classes. After orchestra he has shop class (which in today's era is called "industry basics"). Middle school is wonderful because it is still very sheltered and structured. Carver actually spends most of his morning with two teachers in two classrooms. His english and history classes are with one teacher in one classroom. His math and science classes are with one teacher in another classroom. He switches throughout the morning, but he has two teachers who will know him well. He also is in the same classes with the same kids through the morning, so he won't always feel like a stranger. I hope that it continues to go well, that he makes some good buddies soon, and that he continues to excel.

And this is what my kids look like the other 99.9% of the time.

8/17/10

True Confessions

So, here's a dirty little secret of mine. I still have not finished that last details of Zinabu's adoption. You'll be confused when I describe it to you. After all, what could possibly be left? Allow me to lead you through the littered minefield of adoption paperwork.
Applications
Home study
Medical check
Financial check
Agency approval
State approval
Country approval
Overseas paperwork
Background checks
Fingerprinting (not once, not twice, but often three times)
Security clearance
More overseas paperwork
Referral paperwork
Acceptance paperwork
Medical paperwork
Visa paperwork
Travel paperwork
Travel immunizations
Passports
And probably a hundred more items I forgot.
Then you get home with your child, and there's more.
Medical check ups
Post travel evaluations
Home visits from the social worker
Post placement reports (Several the first year, and one report each additional year until the child is 18)
Application to finalize adoption in our state
Court appearance to finalize adoption
Tax paperwork
Social security paperwork
And a few other odds and ends, but I think you get the picture.
I have done it ALL, three times over. I do NOT begrudge the process. Not at all. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat for every one of my babies. But... can you understand while I've put off one last item? And it's a bit of a doozie. You see, even though Zinabu's adoption is recognized and finalized in Ethiopia, and the United States recognizes and has finalized Zinabu's adoption, he does not have a Certificate of Citizenship. Meaning he's our child but not a citizen. Trust me, the entire process is maddening.
I have not finished the citizenship paperwork for lots of reasons. First of all, I have another 10 years before I need to complete it. Second of all, it's a big fat fee of $500. Third of all, the paperwork necessary is worse than trying to explain the game of Monopoly to my dog. Here I am, a well-educated, English-speaking grown woman and I can't quite figure it all out. Imagine being from another country, where English is not your first language, and trying to navigate our Immigration system. Talk about a bum deal. It would, in a word, suck. So have mercy on me and anyone else you meet that is still working on their paperwork. It's no walk in the park.
I was getting good at putting off this last dreaded task, until last month. I was waking up at night, freaking out, sweating, wanting to wipe this off my to-do list. So I put on my big girl panties and started. I have the photo to show my piles of paperwork (yes, all for the ding-dong citizenship application). I am hoping to get it all in the mail by the end of August. And when I do, I will be popping the champagne!

8/16/10


Just in case you needed a giggle today.
We've had a fair few over the last few days. Like when I asked David a question and used the word "scuttlebutt." The boys lost it. Bent over themselves in hysterics. Milk almost spurted out of Z's nose. Despite having to constantly work on their manners, having these kids is nothing short of joyful.

8/13/10

I Feel Like We Won The Lottery


I can hardly believe it!!! I had to pinch myself when they made the announcement today. Our school district is getting some of its vegetables locally, from a CSA? Are you freaking kidding me? They've banned chicken nuggets and "breaded" foods? They're serving organic, baked chicken?

I had to look around me to make sure I was in the right place, because let me tell you that our school district is not rolling in cash right now. We also have a high percentage of kids on free or reduced lunch. We're tough as nails, thank you very much, but I wasn't expecting this.

I am overjoyed. I am so proud of our Director of Food Services. Seriously. I will probably drive down to his office right after I post this and give him a giant kiss. (So what if I get arrested?) It's been coming on slowly over the last two years. Our director has been making subtle changes, not wanting to rock the boat, working to have small victories here and there to prove that it is worth it to care about what you eat. I know he's a huge fan of Michael Pollan (and you should be too) and he's been easing the schools in our district to a better meal plan.

You probably think I'm going overboard here, but you have no idea how important this is to me. And what's funny is that the only kid in my family who likes school lunch is Zinabu, and that's just occasionally. But when I think of all the kids who go to school and can eat carrots that were picked last week from just down the road, I could cry with joy. I feel like we just won the lottery!

8/10/10

Who Is "Old Men Reflect"?


I love this picture of my Uncle Jim, circa 1969. He's the one in the center. He is the youngest of 4 kids... and he's usually the center of attention. Like this photo. Right in the center. He is my mom's little brother, and currently (and more popularly) known as Old Men Reflect. He leaves all the insane interesting comments on my blog. Like when I wrote about how we're reading aloud biographies of important people to our kids at dinner, he suggested Al Capone and a few other choice criminals. He often suggests I go fix myself a stiff drink. And in my last post about the skunk, he made a reference to Sarah Palin.

His incredible sense of humor and dark wit hide a big softy, though. He is generous beyond words. He is thoughtful. He is loyal. He is kind. He is amazing. He is a knight in shining armour and I am fortunate to have him as part of my family.

Uncle Jim, I'm sorry to have betrayed your secret--that underneath all your biting sarcasm is a great man. A great, great man. Here's to many more posts that inspire your great comments.

8/9/10

The dog got sprayed by a skunk.
Right under our bedroom window--which was open.
It's a toss up about what smells worse: the dog or our bedroom.

Somehow this was not on my to-do list today.

8/6/10

Almost a Middle-Schooler


Yesterday I took Carver to his middle school for registration. For 6th graders they do a really good job of easing them into their new school, and there are a few small activities planned to help them learn the ropes. I'm long past the point of freaking out about middle school. That happens the entire year your child is in 5th grade. Now I'm ready for him to start and I want him to begin experiencing all the fun stuff. That's the good thing about time. You can't stop it, so you learn to just roll with it.

It's possible I've lost a small part of my brain this week. There's a lot to remember, and I'm failing. I keep leaving important pieces of paper on the kitchen counter while we dash off to places where I need those pieces of paper. Examples are (but not limited to): school supply lists, immunization records, and grocery store lists.

The laundry is piled to my ears. The dishwasher broke. ________! (insert whatever naughty word you want right here because if you're going to use naughty words, this is the perfect time.)
The kids are ready to go back to school but school doesn't start for another week and a half. We've done every summer activity you can do, times 5. We're done. And that's saying something because summer is my most favorite time of year.

Yesterday I was in the shower when my brother (the police officer) stopped by for a quick visit. All the doors were unlocked (one might have been wide open but you didn't hear that from me) and after he rang the doorbell my children just let him in without asking, "Who's there?" And that led to him lecturing me on the importance of safety/children/locked doors. Let me tell you, there's nothing like a lecture from your little brother to really get your day going.

On the upside, there's not much planned these days and I'm staying in my pajamas well past an acceptable time. I'll take whatever I can get.

8/4/10

Geeks of the Year Award... Right Here!



8/2/10


Read it.
Read it.
Read it.
Read it.
Read it.

7/30/10

Just another boring day at our house. You know, where Zinabu sucks on a lemon (his favorite treat) while I finish cooking dinner.



7/28/10

(shaking fist angrily at cancer)

What are the odds? Really! What are they? You could almost laugh.

I met my sweet friend Ali almost 6 years ago, the week she found out that her mom had ovarian cancer. It was one year after my dad had died from a brain tumor. We connected in so many ways other than cancer, but I was there for her during a dark time. Fortunately, her mom has had good results from her treatment and has been doing well. Until the last few months. Little things have been off. Her memory. Her mood. Her health has deteriorated significantly. And we find out... the cancer has come back full force. And she has a huge brain tumor. She is going to die. Most likely very soon.

Ali and I went to a movie tonight and on the drive home she broke the news to me. She said, "You're the last person I've told because you're the one person I was afraid to tell. I knew it would be hard." I pulled over and we cried and hugged and just marveled at the craziness of it all. She explained the radiation treatment they're trying and I shared with her that my dad had done the exact same treatment.

And Ali asked seriously, "How did that work for your dad?"

And then we both burst out laughing, because it didn't work for my dad. And we laughed until I almost wet my pants. And then we cried again.

Where the hell is the cure for cancer? Where? Because if I have to go through 10 more years of politicians yelling at one another and stupid wars and wasted resources, there had better be a cure for cancer at the other side of it all. Something to make it all worthwhile.

I'm just saying.

7/27/10

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "I sure wish Cathy would write a post about her hair."

I'm freaking you out, aren't I? How did I know what you wanted? It's a gift.

Well, fear not, loyal readers. You get what you asked for. And after my last controversial post about the corrupt "gifted and talented" system which is slowly eroding our society, I thought I would post about something completely lame and uncontroversial.

Ergo, my hair.

If you've been reading my blog you KNOW that I am attempting to grow my hair long. To wear in a ponytail. In London. In the spring of 2012. And I want it to look something like this:



I am hoping to avoid something like this:


A year ago this was me. My hair was short. And I love it short. Especially when I'm running a lot.


10 months later, this is where I am now.

Longer, but still so far to go. It took a while for the back to grow out and catch up with the sides. I am finally at the point where I can just let it go and see what happens. I wonder what it will look like in another 10 months?
It's okay that you really don't care. If I were you, I wouldn't care either.

7/25/10

Um, seriously?

This is freaky. I am actually asking David to hold me down so that I can't climb on my soap box, but I'm shouting anyway. Gifted and talented? For kindergarten? Let the kids be kids, for goodness' sake. How insane. And how privileged. And how wrong we are as parents to buy into the hype that our 4 year olds need to be "ranked and rated" to somehow achieve more. Blech.

7/23/10


David's brother Doug was visiting us last week. He drove out on his motorcycle and then he and David went camping together. Before he left I took some photos of the kids on the cycle. I have NO IDEA where Carver learned this "I'm so cool I don't even need to smile at the camera but just look smug" look. Geesh. Give a mom heart failure, why don't you. More interesting, though, is what the orange arrow is pointing to. We had asked Zinabu not to touch the motorcycle.
Nice.

7/22/10


No question about it. We are having this for dinner. Can you say "uh--may--ziiiiiiing"?

I have a confession to make. I am tired of my kids. And what's worse, they are tired of me. This has been a long week. They wake up at 6:30, eat breakfast, and by 9:00 they're bored, hungry, and whiny. I hate being overscheduled, so I don't jam-pack our day with activities and events, but we need enough structure to keep from giving each other the evil eye. Next week everyone is enrolled in day camp (can I get an amen) and I get to do fun things like clean out closets and take unused items to Goodwill. Really. That is fun for me, so stop your snickering.

One thing that has gone very, very well this summer has been reading the biographies aloud at the dinner table. So far we've finished Helen Keller, Rosa Parks, and Jackie Robinson. Tonight we start Albert Einstein, and waiting in the wings is Harriet Tubman. It has provoked fabulous conversations--we've talked about the Ku Klux Klan, physical disabilities, being brave, having courage, life not being fair, determination, and how to do the right thing. The kids hate when I finish a chapter and they have to wait until the next day to find out what happens next. David and I read aloud to them every night at bedtime, but the biographies have a different feel to them. Obviously, it's educational, but it's has to do with learning history together. It's been a lot of fun.

7/21/10

Wordless Wednesday... (don't even ask!)




7/20/10

To V or Not To V...

After doing some research and lots of thinking, I was seriously considering going vegan. Living without meat is hardly a sacrifice, since I don't ever crave it or think about it much. And I already drink soy milk, love soy yogurt and ice cream, and think fruits and vegetables are supposed to be a huge part of what you consume. But I cannot give up cheese. And I think soy cheese is gross. Have you ever tried soy cheese? There must be someone out there who enjoys it, but it's hard for me to swallow. I am currently addicted to Feta cheese and can't get enough of it. The photo above is a picture of my favorite sandwich: grilled tomato and feta, with a dash of olive oil and pepper. Yum-o! And it doesn't help that friends post cheese ideas like this on their blogs. Can't wait to try it.

7/18/10

If/Then


If you are wearing a giant orange cowboy hat and crazy pajamas, then it must be time to wrestle your sister.

7/16/10


Carver Comes Home Today!!!!!
Can you believe it? I did it! I survived!

7/14/10


Super sweet kid with killer smile seeks someone to listen to him talk all day long and have answers to questions like "what would happen if I ate a knife?" or "do you think mountain lions like cotton candy?" Serious inquiries only.

7/12/10

The Calm Before The Storm



David and Carver had a boys getaway together--they camped at one of our favorite campgrounds, which is also just a few miles away from the camp Carver is attending. I drove up Sunday morning with Z and Lily to help them pack out, and then while David drove home with the two youngest, I stayed with Carver. We had 3 hours before we could check into camp, so we went fishing. Fishing is Carver's new favorite hobby. He loves to tinker and fiddle with things, and attaching hooks and bait and sinkers and bobbers to a fishing line just thrills him. While he fished, a butterfly landed on his hand. We sat on the pebbly shore and admired the view, chatted, and relaxed. When he'd had his fill of fishing, we drove the dirt backroads to his camp (we'd never been before). The gates opened at 1:00 and we were a little early, which turned out to be a good thing because after we had checked in and finished paperwork the line of people waiting for their turn was enormous.
I don't know why, but I think I had imagined that I would pull up, unload Carver's duffel bag and find Carver's counselor, and then be shooed away. Which was completely stupid of me because it took an hour to check him in. Duh! I had to fill out more medical paperwork, liability forms, transportation forms, and on and on (in addition to what I'd already filled out and sent to them weeks ago). It was incredibly well organized, but certainly overwhelming. He was deemed "finished" and then we went to find his cabin. His cabin is adorable, and there are two counselors and six boys. What a great ratio! He scoped out where he wanted to sleep, poked around, and then we looked at each other like, "Now what do we do?" There wasn't anyone else in the cabin (because the counselors were all working at various stations and greeting people at the front of camp) so we walked around and explored. There are tons of places to play, and a beachfront on the lake where you can swim. There's a blob, zipline, waterslide, horseback riding, canoeing, rifles, archery, and just about everything else you can imagine at a camp. Since we don't allow guns at our house, Carver is freaking hyper interested in the rifle range.
We wandered over to a grassy field and found a few counselors who were playing with kids who were all checked in and their parents had left. I asked Carver if he wanted me to stay longer or was he ready to get his camp experience started. He was ready for me to go. Since we had already had lots of talks about what camp would be like, I didn't have much else to say to him.
I hugged him, told him I loved him and I'd pray for him, and walked away. Good thing I was wearing my big, dark sunglasses. I bawled. Completely lost it. I looked back once and waved. I saw him wipe his eyes. I called good bye and gave him a big smile. And that was it.
I imagine last night was hard. He does not know a soul there, and being gone from home for a week is a big deal. But I know that by today, after he got that first night out of the way and now that he's probably made a friend and knows his counselors and is playing outside, he'll be fine. He's our most outgoing, extroverted kid. But as a mom, this is grueling. This transitioning to letting go; having a child that you used to do everything for... and you used to be everything to them. By leaving him at camp for a week, I am essentially cutting some of the cords that bind us together.
And I don't care who you are or how independent you want your kids to be--that is hard.

7/9/10

Just Being Honest

Lately, our kids have been going at it with each other. Over nothing.
He touched me.
She looked at me with a weird face.
He tried to take my napkin.
She won't let me brush my teeth first.
I thought it was my turn to feed the dog.
I can't stand it when he hums.
And on and on and on. David and I are stumped. We've tried just about everything we can think of to curb the insanity, but so far our kids are completely determined to be miserable together. I love blogging about the cute things my kids say and the sweet pictures when they're all smiling at the camera, but I've got to keep it real. This summer has been rough. I'm not sure if it's Carver, whose transitioning into being a pre-teen and is annoyed by anything... or if it's Lily, whose short temper is stretched too thin right now... or if it's Zinabu, who really is a hyperactive pest sometimes. I am sick of breaking up fights and tiffs and arguments over nothing. So if you're in a season where your kids are all getting along, then please be thankful.
Carver and David left this morning to go camping, and then on Sunday I am taking Carver to his camp for the week. I do know that with 3 kids, one is always the odd man out. Taking one child out of the equation means the other 2 always get along. I don't understand why. It's like an advanced math problem that I'll never solve. But I do hope that with Carver gone for a week, Z and Lily will have a good time together, and that all 3 kids will miss each other enough that they'll be grateful to be reunited.
One can only hope.

7/7/10

Wordless Wednesday



7/5/10


friendship [frend-ship] n: promising your friend Ali that you would not go see Eclipse until she returned from vacation and you could go together.

regret [ri-gret] v: promising your friend Ali that you would not go see Eclipse until she returned from vacation and you could go together.

7/1/10

Greetings from our little corner of insanity. This has been a weird week. We've been sick. We've been stressed. We've been overwhelmed with a few details. And let's just try to go camping this weekend to add to the drama. Once we get there, I love camping. But the getting there is no small feat.

I am making a public announcement that I love World Cup soccer. I can't get enough of it and I have been guilty of screaming at the television while my children look at me with horror. So camping preparations will have to be put on hold tomorrow morning while I watch the Netherlands and Ghana games. You know, you've got to have your priorities lined up.

And speaking of camping, I'm putting the official call out to my Ethiopia families that we're going to have a get-together in Colorado next summer. All are invited. We can find a cabin/cabins with room, kitchens, beds for all... and if you want to pitch a tent you can do that too. So Sarah and Carrie and JC and Chandra, Christina and Tesi and everyone in Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Illinois start thinking ahead.

6/28/10

The Lump


I found a lump on Zinabu's chest.

I was tucking him into bed the other night and stroking his chest when, Wham! A lump. There it was. The size of a pea. Right near his collarbone. At the time I thought, "Well that's odd." It didn't hurt him and I tried to leave it alone and not freak out about it. But it worried me. We don't have good experiences with lumps among our friends and family. They're always the worst possible news.

I called the doctor the next day and got an appointment for the afternoon. Then I did
the
stupidest
thing
ever.

I Googled "lump near collarbone," and what started as an information search ended with me planning Zinabu's funeral. I locked myself in the bathroom and sobbed. I thought I was going to vomit it was so horrible. Here's a little word of advice. Be careful of Googling medical maladies. You'll scare yourself to death.

We went to the doctor and both he and the physician's assistant examined Z. Those 40 seconds of quiet while they poked and prodded and rubbed might have been the longest of my life. Then the doctor said, "I'm pretty sure it's just a cyst."

You had to have heard me exhale across the state of Colorado. It was momentous.

They're not 100% sure it's nothing, but they're 98% sure. And for now that's good enough for me. We have to watch it and let them know if it changes, but I am hoping and praying it goes away on its own and never, ever comes back.

This motherhood stuff is for strong women only.

6/27/10

Vacation





A few highlights from our trip: swimming, eating, and playing. While we were in Duluth, we visited a water park that had our kids mesmerized. They loved it. Between the water slides and the play areas, my kids managed to expose themselves to levels of chlorine they never thought possible. It was a blast, and David and I managed to keep up with them. While in Mountain Lake, we played till very late at night, ate great (and unhealthy) food, and watched our 3 lovies experience life in a small town. The matching t-shirts they're wearing are from running the half-mile road race. Lily won third place. In the 10-12 age category. She's 9. She accidentally ran in the wrong race, the race for older kids. That was a funny surprise.
It's hard to believe that we've been visiting the same park and events since Carver was a baby. Where does the time go?


6/25/10

Photoless


I am currently sitting in our kitchen, and the cord for our camera is in our office, and I am just too darn lazy right now to get up and get it. So I can't upload new photos for you, but I did find a marvelous picture of London that I'm sure you'll enjoy.


Whew... back home from vacation. I have absolutely NOTHING to complain about when Sarah and Tesi are traveling across the globe to Ethiopia to meet their children. My luggage and laundry certainly pales in comparison. But there is still that re-entry that has to happen when you've been away for almost 2 weeks. The laundry is mostly caught up. I'm now back to my regular load a day. And even though I haven't been grocery shopping, my mom had enough milk/fruit/peanut butter in the house to see us through. Sleeping in my own bed has been heavenly, and even the dog is on cloud nine because of our return.


Our trip to Minnesota was delightful. Absolutely great. I wish I could go again and see old friends and Ethiopian families. There's never enough time to get together with everyone. And this weekend a bunch of moms and kids are camping together--and I can't be there. Let the pity party commence.


Shark boy (a.k.a. Zinabu) finally lost his first tooth! We were with David's mom and discussing Lily's braces and Zinabu's teeth and I think he overheard the words "dentist" and "need to pull it out." As he sat there listening, he grabbed his bottom tooth--which was already very loose--gave one great yank, and out it came. He was so proud of himself. Now if he can just get the other one out....


Recently, he was hopping around and chatting with me (he can't hop without chatting or chat without hopping) and he pointed to his brain and said, "Mom, this is my bread and butter. And I don't want anyone messing with my bread and butter."


I'll leave it at that and let you mull it over.

6/23/10

We're hungry.
We're horribly tired.
We're harried.
We're happy.
We're home.

6/20/10

We Are Alive! (Mom, Please Do Not Read The Following)

There's some irony in that title. Turns out we drove through one of the worst thunderstorms in Minnesota history. Don't you just love being a part of history? We left Duluth on Friday (after a wet but fabulous visit there) and drove down to the southwestern part of Minnesota to see David's mom. Thanks to David's iphone, I could keep up with the weather and I noticed there were quite a few thunderstorms. A huge line of storms was pushing its way across the state, and we would be traveling through them at about, oh... say... dinnertime. Whenever I had a chance to check the weather, more and more tornado warnings were popping up. It still looked like we'd have to punch through a bunch of heavy rain, but no tornadoes to speak of. It began to rain--hard--at 5:00 so we stopped to eat. At about 5:50 the tornado sirens began to wail. The restaurant we were in was not exactly safe, since it had a wall of glass windows overlooking the road. From what we could tell, the tornado was northeast of us and heading northeast. We were going to be driving southwest, so we decided to get in the car and head out. We drove another 10 minutes, and the storm was definitely getting worse--not better. It began to rain so hard that we could barely see the road in front of us. We were literally in the middle of nowhere. Cornfields all around us. No structures. No buildings. Just our car. You know... the worst place you can be in a flash flood or tornado. We crawled into the next farm town, where the tornado sirens were wailing. And then the hail started. And David and I looked at each other. He wanted to keep driving, as if we could escape the storm. I feared baseball sized hail smashing through our windshield. There was a corrugated steel gas station at the center of this town, which we eyed warily. The hail was getting worse, so we pulled over to a side street and parked under a tree. This was when I began to feel scared. I kept trying to listen for that tell-tale sound of a train coming, which was supposed to mean a tornado was bearing down on us. I'm not sure what I thought we would do. Run for it???? The kids kept asking, "Are we in danger?" And we answered in wavery voices, "Oh no, we're just going to wait until the rain subsides. Hee hee."

Right.

After another 5 minutes, the rain did begin to subside and David started to drive again. To the west we could see patches of blue sky, so we made a break for it. As we pulled out of town there were horribly ominous clouds trying to touch the ground, and certainly signs of rotation. When we got to David's mom's place, she told us the news had reported a funnel cloud touching down in the town we were in... at about the time we were there. You know, no big deal.

My blood pressure is just now starting to come down. It was awful.

But other than THAT, we're having a lovely time visiting family and more or less driving one another crazy sleeping too close to each other on the floor. Mountain Lake is having their Pow Wow festival, so there are lots of small town events happening. I attended my very first (and hopefully last) truck pull yesterday. Today the kids get to participate in the half-mile fun run and classic car parade. Tomorrow the carnival rides open up, as well as caramel apples, mini-donuts, and cheese curds. The kids love it here, and I can't blame them. Beautiful farms, freedom to ride their bikes wherever they want, and old fashioned elevator in their grandma's building, and sweet neighbors who are genuinely interested in them.

I definitely miss Minnesota. It's actually hard for David and I to come back to visit. So we soak it up while we can. Sorry no pictures. I forgot the cord that attches to the computer to upload photos. Just picture us with dirty clothes, bags under my eyes, and smiles on our faces.

6/11/10

Wanting Another Kiddo and Vacation

There's a catchy blog post title. But it's true. I'm longing for a 4th child. Maybe there's too much pollen in the air or maybe the drugs from past airplane trips are still floating in my system, but the niggling desire is there. And my heart wants a child with special needs. What would that look like? I have no earthly idea. But what do you do when you heart is speaking to you? It's hard to ignore. However, when I shared my thoughts with David he said, "Uh, Cathy, I don't want another child." Which is not to make David look like the bad guy. David is not the bad guy. He's the voice of reason. And it just shows how important it is that both parents be on the same page in an adoption. If both parents are not on the same page then you shouldn't proceed.

We leave tomorrow for Minnesota. (Sorry Twin Cities peeps. We'll be in Duluth and in farmland to see David's family, and there's not enough time to see everyone in between. We will be at the new Twins stadium on Thursday, though, as we drive through. If you're going to be there... let us know!) I love driving to Minnesota. I love the plains. I love farmland. I love the wide open sky and the heat and the grass. Love it. We'll be at Lake Superior for a few days, then we're headed to teeny tiny Mountain Lake, Minnesota, where David's mom lives and where David grew up. This vacation has a few hiccups and snags to work through, but we want to make the most of it and enjoy every second we have together. I'll try to post updates as I can. Till then, adios!

6/9/10

True Story

Today, I had a moment where I could just relax and read a magazine for a few minutes. I sat down and not 2 seconds later Zinabu plopped down next to me. I gave suggestive "hints" that he could go play in the sandbox or ride his scooter or... look for aliens. But he snuggled closer and said, "No, Mom. I want to be right here by you. I promise I won't make a noise. Not even a peep. You won't know I'm here. Okay?"

2 seconds later.

"Mom, you smell good. Like chili."

2 seconds later.

"Mom, let's talk about our vacation. What are we going to do at Grandma Patty's house?"

1 second later.

"Mom, you know what? Sometimes after you tuck me in I like to pick at my nose. Did you know that?"

3 seconds later.

"Mom, I'm not really talking. I'm thinking out loud."
_____________
And such is my life.

6/6/10

Summer


Give the girl some paper and tape, and she disappears for an hour and returns with this. Wings and a bird mask. Her creativity revolves around animals, but she always comes up with something that makes me smile.

We are in full-swing summer mode. We are signed up for activities and day camps and music lessons, but we're still not overly scheduled or committed. Plenty of long hours just sitting around or playing with the hose. Lily is starting the cello, Carver is continuing with his bass, and Zinabu is beginning drums. I have never met a child more predisposed to drum lessons. Though it will be loud around here for the next several years, I can't wait for Zinabu to channel all his wiggles and jiggles into a steady beat.

We've reinstituted TV tickets. I know I posted about this 2 years ago. Last summer we moved and never got around to getting very scheduled or organized (which is really just a cover-up for the fact that I needed the kids to watch TV so I could unpack the house). What we do is give each kid 20 tickets at the beginning of the week. (You can buy an enormous roll of carnival-style tickets at an office supply store.) Each ticket is worth 30 minutes of screen time: tv or computer. That averages out to an hour a day. Considering my kids are up at 6 am and are playing outside until 9pm, I'm just not that concerned about that one hour. What I really love about this system is that it teaches them to budget their time, which is a whole lot easier for Carver at 11 than Zinabu at 6. Zinabu pretty much blew through 14 hours the first 3 days and then it dawned on him he was screwed for the rest of the week. Great teaching tool, and again, so worth the excessive screen time at the outset in order for him to learn a lesson.

I love that my kids have access to music and music lessons. Every child should. We go to a local music store where the instructors rent out their services. The average price is about $15 dollars a lesson. While that adds up with three kids, it is still pretty reasonable considering what you're getting. It's hard "making" my kids practice. Sometimes they're all eager and into it and it goes well. Other times I'm reminding them all day long, "You need to practice your instrument before dinnertime." And they look at me like I'm asking them to dig a well. I know they don't see the value of practice. Most kids don't. So I try to keep encouraging them. If my kids just flat out hated playing an instrument and they were kicking and screaming about the whole ordeal, we'd call it quits. But that's not the case. Overall, it's a very positive experience and I am a firm, firm believer in the benefits of music on kids' brains and self-esteem.

We're going to the library a LOT. This feels like the "magic year" for library time. My kids know were everything is, know how to look up what they can't find, and actually prefer to pick out their own books rather than relying on me to find things for them. I still browse through the more random sections to pull out books that I think they would enjoy, and we've hit upon some favorite new topics this way. I found the greatest book about ancient Egypt and Zinabu is enthralled. The way the book is laid out and the way the illustrations are in 3-D, it's hard not to be enthralled.

I also grabbed some biographies and we're reading them aloud at the dinner table each night after we've finished eating. The chapters are VERY short, and they're written for kids ages 5 to 9, I think... which is perfect for our family. Short and sweet and packed with information. Right now we're reading about Helen Keller. Doesn't every kid love the story of Helen Keller? I know I did. Carver and Lily already know who she is, but Z did not. And I don't think Carver and Lily have had the chance to really think about her life, her accomplishments, etc. Next we'll read about Rosa Parks, and after that I think I might have the kids think about an era in history they'd like to learn more about and we'll find biographies from there.

As a mom, I've learned the hard way what NOT to do when you're planning a new activity with your kids. Do NOT announce one day, "This summer I think we should read a biography together. Every night after dinner you will sit and listen to the book I've chosen. Won't that be fun?" Uh, no. That usually blows up in my face. What I've learned to do instead is just casually pull the book out after dinner one night and say, "Hey, I've got this cool book here. How about I read a chapter before we clear the table?" And voila! Success.

If you have any summer ideas or things that work well for your family, I'd love to hear about it. I might come across as looking like I know what I'm doing, but don't let that fool you. I'm flying by the seat of my pants.

6/3/10



We spent Memorial Day in the mountains at a friend's cabin. It was so peaceful and beautiful and relaxing. The kids got absolutely filthy. Which, of course, is a sign that they had a blast.

6/2/10

Wordless Wednesday
*those are walkie talkies

5/30/10

My Life In Automobiles

(Just so you know, these are all stock photos. Not my real cars.)
We bought a new minivan yesterday, and as David and I were driving home with it, we were talking about the cars we've had over our lives. It brought back so many memories of my high school and college years, that I thought I'd document them in pictures. My very first car was the family station wagon. It was awful. Looking back now, I am grateful to have had something to drive but at the time--when lots of my friends had cool cars or fun cars or at least cars that weren't the color of dog poo--it was rough. By the time I got my driver's licence, our station wagon (a Plymouth Volare) was ancient. It had a battery acid stain on the hood and the engine had issues with exhaust, so that even after you'd turned off the engine it would shake and cough and rattle for another minute or two. I remember parking it in the high school parking lot and running away from it because it made so much noise.

After we buried the station wagon and my younger brother got his driver's licence, we found a little Mercury tracer compact that he and I could drive. I loved it. I eventually took it with me to college and could pack up my life and put it all in the back of this little red coupe in a matter of minutes. That car was good to me, and it made it across the country on road trips with friends and eventually to Minnesota where I chose to live after college. Unfortunately, I was hit head on by a little old lady one block from my apartment and the car was totaled. I think the little old lady had her licence revoked after that incident.

So there I was in Minnesota, without a car, the day before Christmas. I took a taxi to the airport and flew home to spend Christmas with my parents. We eventually decided that I would drive back to Minnesota in my dad's Plymouth Reliant. He and my mom had moved to Colorado and were thinking about a pick-up truck, so my dad was more than happy to pass the old sedan on to me. My dad was amazing. So I drove the grey/blue sedan back to Minnesota where it hated the winter. It barely ran when it was cold.

David entered my life (with his own automobile ghosts and issues, but that's another story) and along came Carver. We'd been married for a few years, had both been working, and actually had some money to buy a new "family" car. We bought a Saturn wagon and I was in heaven. It was reliable, comfortable, affordable, and safe for Carver. I about broke my back leaning over that back seat and taking Carver in and out of his car seat, but other than that it was a dream. Our little Saturn took us to so many places on so many road trips.
We'd had the Saturn for a few years when David's car finally became more of a nuisance than something you wanted to drive. We found an old Volvo sedan (it was actually silver) that a nice family by the University of Minnesota was selling. I kid you not when I tell you this, they took one look at Carver and came down $1,000 on the price. We bought the Volvo for so cheap we paid cash for it. It was unbelievable. It was old and had high miles, sure, but it was a Volvo. Such a great little car. Unfortunately it was with us for a very brief time. We'd had the car for only 6 months when David was in a hit-and-run accident on the highway. He was horribly rear ended, and then the people who hit him (in a stolen car) ran up the embankment and disappeared. Honestly, though, had David not been in such a safe car I think he would have been injured. He walked away without a scratch.

The Volvo accident took place a few weeks before we were moving to Colorado. David drove the Saturn to work during the day which was fine because I was home packing up our house. And in the middle of all that, we adopted Lily. David flew to North Carolina and back in one day to get Lily, and 6 days later we drove with her in a U-Haul to Colorado. It was interesting. And crazy. I have the pictures from that week to prove we did it, but it's all a blur in my mind.
Fast forward 2 years. We were living in Colorado, and we had purposely bought a house a block from the high school where David worked. We were a one car family and loving it. At the end of the day, Carver would ride his tricycle while I carried Lily, and we'd go down the street to meet David at his school and then walk back home together. I have the sweetest memories of that time. One day our phone rang and it was a Saturn dealership offering to buy our Saturn wagon. Seems they had a customer who wanted a used wagon, exactly like ours. I guess we were in the Saturn database somewhere because we weren't trying to sell it. We told them we'd be interested if they had a used Honda Odyssey we could trade it for. We'd heard that was a good, reliable van and loved the idea of more room for road trips. They did have an Odyssey, so before I knew it I was a minivan mama. Our Odyssey rocked. Loved it. Loved not bending over anymore to strap kids into car seats. Loved having more than 3 inches of space between my back and my kids' feet. Loved that they could sit in multiple places and still not be touching each other.
Our old faithful Odyssey made it to 107,000 miles and was 10 years old. I recently took it into our mechanic for basic maintenance and discovered that it was time to replace some big items. The cost of the work was going to be more than the car was really worth, so we decided to look for a new car. We wanted something newer (obviously) that would see us through the next 5 years of crazy road trips. We're planning trips to Atlanta, South Carolina, Washington D. C., and possibly Florida. So the hunt for the next family car began. I had hoped to be past the minivan stage, but with 3 kids and a dog we just don't fit into a mid-size SUV. I couldn't justify a super sized SUV because the gas mileage is so terrible, and to be honest I was scared to death to drive something that big. So it was back to the minivan. We narrowed in on a Toyota Sienna because of the good reviews and their reliability. Turns out the rest of the world likes Siennas as well, because they're hard to find used. We wanted something just a couple of years old with average miles, and in our search over a 100 mile radius we found 3 that fit our criteria. 3. Yesterday David and I drove to Denver and looked at 2 of them and settled on the one we wanted. It's a 2007, but it's tricked out with so many gadgets and features and add-ons that it feels like it's from the future. It also has a sound system like a movie theater, which David and I put to good use on our drive home.

Welcome to the family, Swagger Wagon.*
(If you've not seen the Swagger Wagon video on YouTube, I suggest you go do it now. Funniest commercial EVER!)