Cirque Du Soleil

{perfect fall weather... everyone in a happy mood... tree swings... and laughter}

Recently Overheard

Carver is trying to win a kid's contest with a $4,000 prize: I could buy a Wii, a Nintendo, a Playstation, and my own house!

Lily, after having a big crying fit over something I can't even remember: When do I gain my freedom, Mom?

Zinabu, after walking into the kitchen as I was making dinner: Mom, what is that delicious smell I'm smelling?

In keeping with my deep love for romantic dramas from the BBC, I finally had time this week to watch North & South--and by having time I mean I didn't do the laundry or cook and I went to bed very late. But what are food and sleep and clean socks when the BBC offers such a masterpiece? Oh my romantic! Mr. Darcy, move over. Make way for Mr. Thorton. This story is much grittier than P&P, but still filled with dark-haired, brooding, and misunderstood heroes. The tag line on the back of the DVDs describes North & South as "packed with passion, tensions, class warfare and smoldering sexual energy."

What more could you ask for?

The instrument is so big I took two photos to capture it all. Carver is in love. And when he plays (although he really doesn't know how) it makes the richest, deepest sounds. Think dark, dark coffee. I love it. Can't you just see him in 7 years, playing outside his girlfriend's window at night while she swoons at the very sounds he makes?

Heartbreaker.

It's A Date

Lily and I had a divine Saturday morning together. It included a drive to the mall--just the two of us--where we indulged in a Pumpkin Latte for me (mmmmm, my one Starbucks weakness) and apple juice and a donut for Lily. We sat near a fountain and chatted about everything and nothing and just enjoyed our morning. Then we strolled through the mall to a nail salon, where for the hefty sum of $3.00, Lily had her nails painted. And what color did she pick? Fluorescent yellow. Bright, bright fluorescent yellow. You can see her coming from a mile away. She cracks me up. Then we meandered to a toy store and admired all the Littlest Pet Shop toys, which are Lily's favorite. It was a sweet morning.

Saturday afternoon I entered an entire new galaxy. Carver had decided to join orchestra (you can at his school when you're in 4th grade). So we went to the music store for this and that and I felt completely out of my element. All I ever played was piano, and it didn't need things like rosin. Carver is our "try everything" child, and for the most part, he really likes everything he tries. He is going to play the bass--the biggest string instrument. It should dwarf him by several feet, although I think he gets a child-size bass to begin with. Carver had been begging and begging to join orchestra but David and I were afraid it would be too big a commitment for him. But how can you say "no" to a child asking to play in an orchestra? That's ludicrous!!! I can't wait to take pictures of him practicing.

The Blessings of Dyslexia

• For as long as I can remember, I have always cheered for the underdog. I was so meant to be this child's mama.
• Getting to spend an incredible amount of time with my child as we work together to navigate school.
• David's extraordinary empathy, now, for families that come into his office with special education needs.
• Celebrating our child's character, not their grades.
• Being able to actually help with homework in the most tangible ways rather than having to hover and direct and say things like, "You can do it." I get right in there now and we do it together.
• Being able to celebrate small milestones as they are achieved.
• Having the teacher send me emails during the day telling me my child is doing great.
• Being blown away by what my child accomplishes each day given their disabilities.

We are so blessed.

That's IT!!!! I am done!!!

Nowhere in my job description is it written, "Must be able to kill black widow spiders on your front porch." Nowhere.

Anymore days like today and I will lose my marbles.

Two men.

45 years.

Miraculous!

Things Around Here

We're getting into a groove at our house. Z is enjoying preschool and beginning to understand he gets to go 4 days a week. Although the oatmeal for snack today was a big downer. For the kid who will eat anything, I guess we can add oatmeal to the list of "no thank you." And what have I been up to with my free mornings? Volunteering at school. This gives me a chance to be with Carver and Lily in their classes, help their teachers, get to know the students, and my favorite: help in the library. Where else can I have non-stop Harry Potter conversations and look cool? The 5th graders love me!

We did not get tickets to Obama's speech tomorrow night. I got a very nice rejection email letting me know we were on a waiting list. I plan to watch it on TV, of course, and I'll have to be content with that. As an Evangelical Christian Democrat, I set off alarm bells at polling booths and profile surveys. But I continue to believe that we can make a difference with poverty, health insurance, peace, and equality.

This is the week David began classes for his PhD. Every Wednesday night, from 4 to 10. He left this morning at 6:45 and Carver--our early riser--said, "See you tomorrow, Dad." Isn't that sad? So to keep us all happy I've dubbed Wednesdays "slob night." We made cookies and had dessert before dinner, and I tossed some baby carrots and bananas on the table in an attempt at a balanced meal. The kids are currently playing computer and we are living the American dream of lazy evenings in front of a screen.

I figure one night a week won't kill us.

Preschool! Hooray!

We live right across the street from our elementary school, so we get to walk each morning and afternoon. Z was so excited for his first day of preschool that he hopped and skipped the whole way down!

Waiting for the bell to ring so he could enter his classroom. He was slightly shy his first day, but it was fun to actually watch him hang back and check things out a bit. I picked him up at 11:00 and he was hyper with excitement.

His favorite part of the day? No surprises there. Snack time! I'm not sure what all he did this morning, but I got to hear in great detail all about his graham crackers.

A Little Taste...

of what it's like around here. Zinabu met with his preschool teacher and she gave him a few tests just to see where he's at with letters, numbers, etc. She showed him several pictures of different items and wanted him to color them. I think she was trying to see how he held a crayon, and she also wanted to see if he could correctly identify what color each item should be. Had she shown me the assessment ahead of time, I could have saved her a lot of energy, but she went ahead with Zinabu and here's what she got.

Miss Calisse: Zinabu, what is this? (points to a picture of a banana)

Zinabu: A banana (rolls his eyes like it was a really stupid question)

Miss Calisse: And what color is a banana?

Zinabu: Well, that depends. (insert lots of hand gestures and eyebrow wiggling) When you first buy it at the grocery store, it is usually green because it isn't ready to eat yet and the green bananas have just been picked from the banana trees and they're still hard and don't taste very good. When you bring the banana home and it sits on your counter for a few days, then it turns yellow and it is ripe and ready to eat. That is when bananas taste the best--when they are yellow. Not too dark yellow. A nice light yellow. But when the banana has been sitting around for days and days and it starts to get old, then it turns brown and it gets really mushy and it gets mushy brown spots all over it. It starts to smell bad and it doesn't taste as good because it is almost rotten. So I guess a banana could be green or yellow or brown. Which one do you want me to pick?

Miss Calisse: Uh... whatever one you want.

Me (thinking to myself): Welcome to my world, lady. Welcome.

And that is why Zinabu is going to preschool. Carver and Lily never did preschool because, well, it was expensive and I really didn't see the reason. Zinabu is going to Head Start (free) and it meets at Carver and Lily's elementary school. So they're all in the same building, though Z is only there Tuesday through Friday, 8:00 to 11:00. And if you must know, I really don't want Zinabu to spend every morning this year watching TV. And that's the road we're headed down because I have more on my plate and I need to keep him busy. So no TV, yes preschool, and eveyone is happy.

I leave you with a silly photo of my 3 lovies. They're giving Lily's animals "recess."

Bad Blogger! Bad!

I am a terrible blogger for not updating recently. Did you know that our washing machine has been broken for 6 days? I feel fortunate that everyone had enough underwear to last through the drought of clean clothes. Yesterday the part we needed finally arrived and the appliance repair man (bless him) came and got our washer up and running again. Unfortunately, he was incredibly chatty and after I paid him and gave him all the cues to leave, he kept gabbing away about the benefits of a Whirlpool over a Maytag. Inside I was actually screaming at him, "Don't you know I have 2,000 loads of laundry to do? Get out of here!"

The first day of school was on Monday, and not only am I a bad blogger but I am also a bad mommy because I forgot to take a picture. Admittedly, the novelty wears off when you have a 4th grader, but still... It would have been cute. Too many other things to remember, I guess. School got off to a great start for everyone! And everything was going all right until today when I told our dyslexic child the special education teacher would pull them this morning and give them a spelling evaluation. Child burst into tears and said they are sick and tired of spelling and writing. I don't blame them. They are facing "testing" burn out, but still I'm hoping it won't take too long because she (the teacher) needs those results to figure out where to begin Phonemic Awareness skills. Sigh. Our child was so discouraged, I feel sick.

Zinabu starts pre-school next week, which is another post entirely so I'll save the details. But just know that I am pretty excited to have a few mornings a week to myself.

Hope all of you are doing well!

Recently overheard:

Mom, can we have chocolate for dinner? I would eat a carrot, too.

Do you have any idea how badly I wanted to say yes?

Holy Moly!

I am tired! Wiped out! Utterly exhausted! The emotional roller coaster is interesting. My two main symptoms that I'm not functioning at 100% are eating melted chocolate chips drizzled over pretzels and standing in the middle of a room, staring at the wall, with no memory of how I got there. Good times.

Today was the conference meeting with the school principal, teacher, special education teachers, and our tutor. I felt about 5 years old and was sure I was going to melt under the emotional marathon, but all in all it was a great meeting. Our child's teacher is amazing, and is already happy to accommodate us in any way. The bigger issues revolve around instructional help for our child. In special education circles, you have many, many philosophies and ideas about how kids' brains work and how best to treat areas where a child is falling behind. The big problem is everyone thinks their way is best--and that their way is the only way. So our tutor is reaaallllly pushing the word dyslexia to the hilt, while another special ed. teacher doesn't like to use the word dyslexia and won't treat it as such. There are theories, remediation, trainings, interventions for the same issue but they all go about treating it in different ways. No one was really arguing, but I found myself saying things to make everyone happy.

From my perspective, I just want my child to feel good at school and learn how to spell and write. I don't care how it happens, just that it does.

So our kiddo gets to have a small word processing laptop for their desk and we will be encouraging them to use it as much as possible. I can see it being a very slow start--picture laborious pecking at each letter--but as they get more comfortable using it we hope the speed will pick up. Our child will also have a lighter homework load, and will be able to dictate long written answers for big tests. I will also meet again with the teacher tomorrow to find out what the day to day schedule looks like in the classroom and how we can best modify it for our babe. I want to be the teacher's ally, her helper, and I want her to know that we don't want to burden her with extra accommodations for our child, just that we want our child to enjoy school again.

From here on out it is a week to week, bit by bit, moving forward. We can start remediation but will they be enough? Can we get more? We can get accommodations in the classroom, but will they work? Are they realistic? We will know a little more as time goes by.

Thanks for listening through all of this. It's very, very hard to really describe how tough this has all been. My heart goes out to the many parents that have to navigate the "system" for even bigger issues than what we're dealing with. And we're the ones who are pro public school and David works for the district!

As The World Turns

The sun has this very annoying habit of coming up in the morning whether you want it to or not. So I am up, ready to face the day (thanks to all your amazing comments), and ready to meet with the tutor today to discuss her findings. We got a nice fat report from all the tests she gave, and now she can describe them to me in "mom language." How it breaks down is our babe can actually read (a great miracle) but when it comes to thinking of a word and getting it down on paper, it becomes very, very difficult. There is a breakdown in phonological processing, so child cannot remember how to spell words. There is no recall of vowel combinations, like ai, oa, ea, ie, etc. and child has no clue how to use them when writing words. And as all their mental energy goes into coping through the discrepancies, child is exhausted and down on themselves. We are also waiting for an appointment to see an Occupational Therapist, as our babe's writing samples reveal great difficulty with letter formation, spacing, spelling, and close-point copying--which is highly suggestive of dysgraphia (writing learning disability).

Whew! I'm tired just thinking about it.

What does it mean? School looks a whole lot different from here on out. It makes me really wish we were pioneers and lived in the woods where writing and spelling grades just don't matter. However, our child will need to have major accommodations at school--like personalized spelling tests and less time writing. If they do a writing assignment, they should be graded on content and not spelling or sentence structure. And that is why we are meeting with the principal and upcoming class teacher tomorrow. Our school is incredibly friendly and will be 100% behind us, but it might also mean reams and reams of paperwork and additional testing so that our child can qualify for special services with the district. My biggest concern is that by qualifying for special education, other kids will tease and ridicule. Kids are mean, unfortunately. I also hate the "after school banter" between moms about "How is your child doing?" or "What grades did your child get?" I will have to reign myself in from kicking shins.

Whether you homeschool, attend private school, or public school, we live in a society that measures success. We measure our children's worth by how well they complete certain tasks. I am guilty too. I feel just as much pride over "top marks" from school as the next mom. But I'm beginning to change my tune on that. Isn't my childrens' character so much more important than any grade or any gifted and talented program? One of my favorite quotes that I have begun telling our kids regularly is, "It's not your abilities that define who you are. It's your choices."

In other stuff, Zinabu always seems to know when I need a good laugh. He was watching the Olympics with me and saw the rings and said, "Mom, those look like meatballs!"

Everything reminds him of food!

And The Winner Is...

Dyslexia.

I am overwhelmed right now and very, very sad. I plan to have a pity party for all of us and go beat my head against a wall for most of the day. Maybe I'll be ready to face the world tomorrow.

Nincompoop

No parent has a child and thinks, "I'll let them use whatever language they want." Nooooooo. Of course not. That would be "bad parenting." David and I subscribe to the "good parenting" motto and don't allow our children to use crude language. Absolutely no potty talk. We have a zero tolerance policy, and we strictly enforce it. The kids know that bathroom humor will land them in a time out. But I've noticed a flaw in this well-constructed discipline method. By making certain words "unspeakable" we've upped that humor factor at the same time we're trying to discourage this behavior. Just knowing you're not supposed to use a certain word makes it so much funnier when and if you do hear it. The chortles and snorts, guffaws and snickers that ensued when Carver saw the book "Walter the Farting Dog" at Barnes and Noble were really so unnecessary, in my opinion.

Yesterday I was reading a book to Zinabu. It was about a cat that has a secret dream to be a super-hero. The poor cat, in his exuberance, dug up his owner's perfectly planted garden, and the owner thus called him a nincompoop. When Zinabu heard this he about had a seizure he was laughing so hard. He then wanted me to read it again. By the 6th time, I figured I needed to capture his response on video--just for memory's sake. Please note that I am in NO WAY glorifying the word "nincompoop" or Zinabu's laughter at it.

Enough said.

Hi-LAR-ious!

This website--stuffwhitepeoplelike--has given me a lot of laughter over the last couple days. When you go to the top of the page you can click on the tab that says "Full List of What White People Like" and scroll through the topics. My favorites are #100 about bumper stickers and #16 on gifted children. But they're all a riot! Hit this site whenever you need a good laugh. (Editorial Note: This is satire, people. Don't get too worked up over the content of the website. Read it and enjoy the wit.)

Carver is blazing through his week of camp. Loving swimming, mountain biking, dodge ball, zip lines, canoeing, and all the stuff that goes with camp. He's only in the day camp portion as I explained to him he will be 57 years old before he can go to sleep-away camp, but he does not find that amusing. Next week will be our last week of summer vacation and that's not a bad thing. We've had a very active, very blessed summer, and while I hate to see it come to an end, we are all ready for school to start. (That's code for my kids are starting to really get on one another's nerves.)

And in other news, David and I just signed up for free tickets to see Barack Obama's acceptance speech at Mile High Stadium on August 28. I'm sure we're 2 of 200,000 from Colorado that are trying to go, but we can have our dreams, right? I have no idea how long it will take for us to find out if we're going or not, but for emotional and historic reasons, we want to be there!

Darling Deirdre!

A little blurry, because Lily took the photo.


I don't know when Z turned into a self-proclaimed rapper, but isn't Sid the cutest?

I finally got to meet one of the sweetest people EVER! Deirdre and Sidamo and Nora met with Z, Lily, and me yesterday at a mall in Denver. Because it has been so hot here, it seemed like every other mom with young children had the same idea. There had to be 2 million children running everywhere. Sidamo was quiet at the beginning, but after 20 minutes with my kids he turned into the spirited little guy Deirdre has always claimed him to be. He is even more darling in real life. Lily, especially, was smitten with him.

I cannot get enough of other people who have adopted from Ethiopia. There is a deep connection there that always warms my heart. And Deirdre is seriously amazing. She had a nursing baby and a wandering toddler and she kept her cool the entire time. Perhaps she was just trying to show off in front of me, but I doubt it. She's an amazing mama.

My Mom!

Is wonderful. Just so wonderful. She did something so special today--although she is special every day--but whenever I feel the walls closing in on me, she swoops in and makes it all feel okay again. Thank you, Mom!

More Tests
Round 2 of testing for "child X" is over, but we need to do a little bit more tomorrow. Our kiddo was brain-fried after an hour and a half today. We will meet the tutor at the public library in a private room (my suggestions since it is 97 degrees and we have no A/C). Our child can finish what's left and then the tutor can get going with her end of the evaluation. If our child had a very discernible disability, I don't think the testing would have to continue, but as she put it... 'X' presents a very interesting profile. 'X' can read at an advanced level, but also makes story mistakes at the kindergarten level. 'X' cannot spell for beans, which is strange given their reading ability. Has some difficulty with math, and lots of issues with phonics. We're supposed to get an Occupational Therapist evaluation (for writing dysgraphia) but I'm not beating down the doors yet. I hate to over-test our kid all at once. At the same time, I want to be very thorough.

Mostly, though, I am so sad for our sweetie. Our child is definitely having some problems, and I feel terrible that they had to endure an entire school year (last year) of confusion before we noticed. Our child has slipped under the radar, though, because of those high reading scores, I suspect. Even David and I didn't really grasp there was a problem until spring.

So one more morning of tests and then we can let the tutor start crunching the results and write a report for us. We shall see...

Weary... but getting there. The running, that is. I have always loved to run, but I make the mistake of quitting each year when it starts to get cold. It is hard enough to crawl out of bed at 6 am and do 3, 5, or 8 miles when the birds are chirping and the sun is shining. It is near impossible to do it when it is cold, wet, and dark. That's part of the reason I am going for the Denver half-marathon because it is in mid-October. That will keep me running through the fall, for sure. Now I just need to find a race/event for January or I fear I'll give up again come Halloween.

I love to run first thing in the morning. It clears my head, it wakes me up, and despite everything else that may happen that day, I feel as if I've accomplished something. Now that August is here, my training will start to get a bit harder. Short but hard runs during the week, with distance runs on the weekends. I'll try to add a mile every weekend, so that by the beginning of October I will have a 13 mile run under my belt. I am injury free so far, but I'm not holding my breath. My knees always give me trouble and I suspect that at some point I'll need to take a break. Till then, I'll keep on keepin' on.

As Promised...
I said I would share about Z's first smooch on me. He had had an especially rough evening--where everything that could go wrong did go wrong. He fell and scraped his elbow pretty badly, he did not get a cupcake because there were only enough for the baseball players, he lost a toy, and he was pretty tired. He melted down in sobs. I mean sobs!!! He is usually pretty stoic (old orphanage behaviour, I suspect) so I was taken aback by his distress. I sat down on the couch and said, "Zinabu, honey, come sit in my lap."

That's all it took.

He climbed in my lap and immediately calmed down. I wiped his tears and hugged him, and he responded by wrapping his arms around me and kissing my cheek. It was a remarkable breakthrough, because he usually does not like hugs and kisses, and flat-out refuses to give them unless dessert is involved. He's not cold with me or unattached to me--he's just not so "touchy feely." I usually have to wait until his defenses are down and then he's more cuddly, but that unexpected kiss made my whole year.

I love him so dearly.

Silly Ramblings...

Another day, another dollar. Oh wait, I forgot... this "being a mom" thing is all volunteer work. At least I'm the CEO! Here's a little breakdown of today:

1. David is in Cali. and felt the earthquake.
2. Carver had his last baseball game tonight and my mom and I yelled like fools anytime he hit the ball.
3. Zinabu willingly kissed me today. Totally by choice. All on his own. This is the first time he has ever done this!!! I will post more on that tomorrow.
4. Began learning disability testing for "child X" and you all need to completely disregard yesterday's post where I lambasted people for bragging about their kids' achievements because our kid tested at a 12th grade level for comprehension!!!!! Granted, the same child bombed a lot of other areas but we're so happy about that success.
5. I helped Z learn to ride his bike without training wheels.
6. Lily wants to know how much a chinchilla costs. What????
7. There are only 114 days until the next Harry Potter movie is released. Call me a dork, I know.
8. I ate apples with fudge for dinner.
9. Made plans to meet my cyber-blogger buddy Deirdre on Monday. Can't wait.
10. Am currently reading 4 different books. Why do I do this to myself?

The Beginnings of a Shiner!

Carver and Lily were jumping on the trampoline, and as luck would have it... they jumped into each other. When I took this photo, it was just a few hours after the incident. When Carver woke up this morning, his eye was almost completely swollen shut, and the purple and blue hues of a deep bruise were up to his scalp and down into his cheek. It looks quite brutal.

David is out of town again, so we (um...me) are trying to be upbeat and happy. One thing I like to do when David is gone is rent tons of movies just for me and watch them at night to unwind. So of course the electricity would just have to go out at 7:00 and it was hot and getting dark and the kids got their second wind. Lily wound up dancing in the front yard in her nightgown, and Carver played baseball with friends across the street. Not exactly what I was expecting for the evening, but we survived.

Tomorrow we begin the first round of learning disability testing. A woman who specializes in this style of testing (dyslexia/dysgraphia) is coming to our house and will stay for an hour and a half, then come back on Friday for another hour and a half. I could write a novel about this situation and our options and roadblocks, but I'll refrain. I feel quite blessed to have a husband that works for our school district and speaks the language so we at least feel like we are already on step 3 out of 3,000. One of the reasons we're going with the tutor/special education professional is because she will help us write a 504 plan (our rights as parents to determine what our student needs). This means we can go into the school year, meet with our teacher and principal, and explain our child's issues and what we feel will be the best learning methods for them. So if our child has a learning disability in writing, they can be allowed to dictate their homework to me and use the computers at school for more writing assignments, rather than pencil on paper. This is just step A for us, because we need school to be a positive experience again for our sweetie. Right away! Then we get to step B and step C, etc., where we determine how to help our child write better.

Sorry to go on and on, but this is very worrying for us. I don't give a rat's patootie what grades our child earns. Grades are just that--grades! Who cares. I don't play the game of "my child started reading at a 4th grade level in kindergarten" or "my child is in the gifted and talented program." (insert a lot of false humility and batting of eyelashes here.) Some kids really are that smart and that's wonderful for them. But I'm on the other side of the fence. We have a child that finds school so draining and full of opportunities to fail, we watched their zest for life being snuffed out. We have promised our child it will be different this year. I will do just about anything to make sure our child learns to love school again!

Call me a proud mama, but considering just one year ago Z could drown while wearing a flotation device, I am so, so happy that he's learned to swim. This is our neighborhood pool and lessons are very cheap. The lifeguards are amazing, and all of my kids have had a blast swimming every day.

Keep your eye on the blue slide (on the right) and watch the Ethiopian shoot out of it and swim by HIMSELF to the side. Yippee!!

At Least The Gerbil Was Nice Today...

Because I sure wasn't! It was one of those days. I now know why God made days in 24 hour increments. Any longer and I might have landed myself in jail. Oops, I have to go. Carver is hollering that Z called him "Doo-doo head."

I am SOOOO looking forward to the ice cream waiting for me in the freezer.

Splendid Summer!



I love summer. Love it love it love it! Yesterday the kids made cupcake cones--each had a special job: Lily mixed the cake batter, Zinabu put the cones in, and Carver frosted them. Of course it was 95 degrees outside so YES let's turn the oven on, but it was so worth it. I love to bake and always encourage them to "help" me when I'm mixing up some goodies. The end result was quite yummy.

Our summer is wonderful. Last spring was pretty rough--for one child in particular. We were tired and dealing with crummy attitudes and some behavior issues. As your kids get older, you have to grieve the fact that life might be hard for them. And you have to accept the fact that despite all your best efforts, they can still make bad choices. But this summer has been so refreshing and our quality time together is off the charts. Carver and Lily and Z are doing so well together, and I love having so much time with each other.

Still, school looms on the horizon. I've been doing some reading and David and I have been doing some talking and it is becoming obvious that we need to have one of our kids tested for dyslexia--and other possible learning disabilities. I won't say which kid, since I'm sure they would hate to have that news broadcasted to the world, but I confess I am secretly hoping they are dyslexic as it would explain so, so, SO much. The past school year was horrible for said child (see above paragraph). Low self-esteem, feeling defeated, work that felt three times harder than it should have been, and inability to work well. Turns out there are different kinds of dyslexia. There is the kind we all think of, mixing up letters b and d. But there are more. We had a hard time figuring out there might be a problem because our kiddo is actually an excellent reader. It's writing and spelling that are throwing them for a loop.

So I'm making some calls and finding out how/where to be tested. And I hope my child fails the test abysmally so that we can have some answers!

Swimming In It!
I'm up to my ears in a mess. We're busy enough that I don't have much time to pick up the debris my kids are trailing behind them all day long. We're hopping from one activity to the next, and all I can do is push the mess farther into the corner. And since I am a bona-fide NEAT FREAK, I can feel the gray hairs trying to pop out of my head in all this. So it was with great delight that I organized my sock and underwear drawer today. It's clean. It's tidy. And no one can mess it up.

That my life has been reduced to such pitiful accomplishments is pathetic.

Bring It!!!

I am home alone for the next several days with the cherubs as David rides off on his mountain bike. So many mountains in Colorado, so little time. David and I are contemplating big changes in the upcoming year, and we are hesitant but optimistic. I hope this is a time of relaxation for D (since it certainly won't be for me) and a time to prepare for what lies ahead...

Are we adopting again, you might ask? I can say with complete certainty that the answer is no. David is starting a doctorate program at the end of August (while keeping his full-and-a-half-time job of assistant high school principal). I am very proud of him, but I dread that for the next 3 years I'll have a mentally stressed-out hubby. And the other news is that we have decided to move in with my mom.

After my dad died, we realized it was very important to her that she not move. She has a beautiful house tucked up against a hillside. It is big, it is lovely, and it holds dear memories of my father. Since she wanted to stay there, but hates being alone, David and I agreed that we would combine our households. For the past year, we had been thinking that we wouldn't move until 2010 or 2011, but financially it doesn't make any sense for us to keep putting money into our own house when we're planning this move. Therefore, we are getting the wheels rolling, and that includes meeting with lawyers to determine how you split a mortgage, define ownership, blah, blah, blah... And we're looking to hire a contractor to do a lot of work on her house before we move in. Like, change the house from a 3 bedroom to a 5 bedroom. The thought of a home renovation scares me a little. Okay, a LOT! This is uncharted territory for me.

Why move in with my mom? Will it be hard? Will we all wind up hating each other? I am not concerned about my relationship with my mom at all--and if you knew my mom you wouldn't be concerned, either. She is practically perfect in every way. The house is laid out well so we will all have lots of space. Also, we truly benefit because we're acquiring a home that we would never, ever be able to afford on our own. Just like the Jeffersons, we're movin' on up! Also, I cannot tell you how blessed I feel to give my children this experience. I want them to honor and respect ALL people, including the elderly. My mom's not elderly now, but you know what I mean. My kids will have their Nana to themselves at all times, and they will have the chance to watch her grow old and to sit under her wisdom. And finally, my mother spent many years giving me all she had. How could I not return the favor?

So let's recap, shall we? A doctorate program, a home renovation, and a move.
Bring it!

***EDIT: Yes, Deirdre, my mom lives in Colorado ;)

i-everything!
Want to know what I got for my birthday???? Huh? Huh???? One of these babies:

The little Nike chip that fits in your shoe and talks to your i-pod telling you how far you've run, how many calories you've burned, etc. etc. It totally rocks. We are an "i" family--quite addicted to our i-pod, nano, and i-tunes. When I run, I listen to all the crazyfun music, which keeps me actually moving, as well as loads of audiobooks. It almost (almost) makes you forget you're exercising. There is a chance I will get an i-phone, but hell hasn't frozen over yet. I am still cell-phoneless and loving it. David's cell phone plan is up this fall, and I will probably be dragged kicking and screaming into the world of technical ear growths, but until then I will not use one.

Running used to be a lot easier for me. As I mentioned above, it's my birthday and I'm getting older and for pete's sake my body just doesn't want to do what it used to. So I need fun gadgets like this to make it fun. I'm (gulp) training for the Denver half-marathon in October and need all the help I can get.

Oh, i-technology... I love you!

Sigh...

A little of this...

and some of this...

a bit of this...

a LOT of this...

and some of this....

makes me one happy mama. I do forget that we are eyed like a traveling circus wherever we go. I get used to being stared at, but it becomes old when you're on vacation. I think I'm more sensitive to it when I'm away from home. Yes, 3 brown children with 2 white adults do turn heads, but do people have to ogle us like we're purple with orange polka-dots?

The hot springs were fantastic. My kids are completely worn out--between the water and the fresh air and chasing the chipmunks around our campsite. We're happy to be back home and in our own beds, but I cherish the time we have when we're away together with no interruptions. And despite many, many attempts and lots of practice, Zinabu still cannot understand how to work a knock-knock joke. David and I about wet our pants trying to coach him in this fine art.

Report from the Underworld

David thought it would be hilarious great fun to buy a box of smoke bombs for the kids. Guess how many smoke bombs come in a box? 72. Yep... so we'll be lighting these babies off well until Christmas. I took these photos as the smoke was winding down, as they really do put off great clouds of the stuff. There is also a burning, sulfurous, rotten egg smell each time, too, so when you walk by our house I'm sure the odor is fantastic. The 4th of July was a total bust for us (kids falling asleep and begging to go home to bed) so I guess smoke bombs it is for our patriotism this year.

I am recovering from our big trip to Minnesota but gearing up for our next trip tomorrow. I don't do well with this much activity. Seriously. I feel like bursting into tears every five minutes and I'm barking at the kids, which makes me feel terrible. We're going to Glenwood Springs, where there is a humongous (as in an entire city block long) swimming pool with water from the natural hot springs. I know it will be great once we get there, but it's the getting there that is giving me more gray hair and a bad attitude. We will be torturing ourselves camping, so it's the food and the packing and all the what-not that has me jittery. The pool is amazing, though, with huge water slides that are "made to wear the kids out," as the pool website reads. Since all 3 of our kids were born with hidden gills, they will be in heaven.

Other than me being the moody one at home, this is turning out to be a fantastic summer. Our kids have really taken to playing together quite a bit and they're loving each other's company. Yes, they have their moments, but overall they're pretty good friends. Lily is shining in her self-proclaimed role of "activities director" as she corrals the boys and directs them in arts and crafts, trampoline time, and reading books. It's quite funny and sweet all at the same time.

Lily arranging beads.

Carver painting string for necklaces.

I think that summer was made for families to reconnect, as that has surely happened here. It has been so sweet.

The Picnic

Our trip to Minnesota was truly, truly wonderful. Driving was actually a breeze. The kids were fantastic and every day they were up for a new adventure. We stayed with David's mom, who lives in a building with a vintage elevator--the kind with the metal grate door. Carver especially enjoyed playing elevator operator. The kids got to experience summer in a small farming community and were so spoiled by the miles of flat roads, corn fields, and freedom. They rode their bikes everywhere.

We drove to the Twin Cities and tried not to cry at familiar landmarks. We miss living there--especially now with so many families that have adopted from Ethiopia. We spent the afternoon at the Mall of America and burned off some pre-picnic excitement. That evening we checked into the college dorm room where families were staying. There was a pool party that night, and Stacy and Mel proved themselves as "greatest moms in the universe" because they were in the pool with their kids and I swear the water was maybe 50 degrees. We met some families and admired all the children. David was overjoyed to see some of the children he played with at the care center in Addis Ababa. To see them again a year later with their families here in the United States is quite moving. Diana (David's sister) and he got to catch up with some of their travel group, too, and oooh and aaaah over how much the kids had grown in a year.

I learned a valuable lesson.

I should not have expected to have time to really talk with the families I so wanted to meet. Our kids all had their own agendas! Trying to talk to Lucy was a little bit like trying to catch a fairy. Every time I got close to her, I started a conversation but she just smiled at me and dashed off. Stacy had to chase her, I had to chase my kids... and that was that. Next year I will make sure we meet friends for dinner or breakfast over the weekend so I have more one-on-one time with them. That being said, I still think Lucy is one of the darned cutest kids in the world.

Some very touching moments included meeting Sigame and Dengalo. They were at the care center with Zinabu for several months and were adopted right after Z. They have many memories of Z and have followed our blog for the last year. Sigame was so excited to see Z again, and after Z finished his Ethiopian food, he was pretty excited to see her too. We are bonded with this dear family because our children spent time together before they came to us. They share a history. They share a past. They lived in an orphanage together and survived trauma I just can't imagine. I love knowing about these kids because they are a part of Zinabu's story. We will keep in touch with them.

Another time I got teary was meeting Lindsay, our rep. at CHSFS. She is the woman who took on our family after we left our first agency and helped us day after day as we refiled all our adoption paperwork. She is the one who called with our referral of Zinabu. I will never forget hearing her voice on our answering machine... "Hi there. This is Lindsay at CHSFS. I have some important news for you, so please call me back." She sought us out at the picnic and I was so happy. Another piece of the adoption puzzle that brought Zinabu to us.

At the end of the picnic there was a performance by traditional Ethiopian dancers, and when they came out on stage I pretty much burst into tears. The men did a kind of "hop-skip" and it was so exactly what Zinabu does around our house day in and day out. Not having been around for my son's first three and a half years of life is hard for me. So when I see something that is so genuinely from his life in Ethiopia, I am honored to share part in that.

Who am I to be so blessed?

Here are some photos... Enjoy.

Meeting Tyrone! Even I was pumped up over this. Does anyone love the Backyardigans as much as me?

Zinabu and Lucy and Lily. Carver is a blur in the background and Lucy was about ready to dash. Turns out Lucy will only smile for the camera if you tell her not to.

Here I am with Lindsay. So special. And, uh, this is right after my kids got the free CHSFS hats. Can you tell?

Sweet, sweet Sigame and Zinabu. Z took a quick break from shoving injera into his face to smile. That Sigame still loves him after watching him eat is a testimony to her devotion.

We Are Home

Right now I am recharging the battery on my camera so I can upload the 2 billion photos we took on our trip. I am tired and worn out and I actually allowed my children to eat tennis-ball sized jaw breakers on the drive home today. The kids were very quiet but, strangely, are very sticky. We're home safe and sound, and I'll post some highlights of our trip tomorrow. In the meantime, I leave you with a link to my super friend Heather. She just wrote THIS post, and I love her all the more for it. She's very pregnant and possibly hormonal, but her writing is true. Especially for those of us with international children who have cultural names.

Quick Post
I have brief Internet access so I will quickly say that the picnic was wonderful. To feel a part of a community that has experienced what we have, and to celebrate the Ethiopian culture that is now a huge part of our family is hard to describe. Meeting people and seeing these beautiful children running around kept giving me goosebumps. I will need to devote an entire post to Lucy and Stacy, so I'll save that for when I can upload photos. I will also need to devote an entire post to the Ethiopian dancers. I can't fit it all in here.

We are doing well. We are tired and staying up way too late and eating too much sugar and--in general--doing all the things you should do on a vacation. I'll be back in a few days.

Selam!

303

This is my 303rd post. Really? I actually had that much to say over the last 2 years? Hmmmm.

It may also be awhile unto the 304th post, because we are leaving for MINNESOTA (the homeland) in a little more than 48 hours. Although I am positive we will greatly regret it, right now we are planning to pull out of the driveway in our fully-loaded van at 3 am Wednesday morning. It's a 14 hour drive to my mother in law's home, and we had to weigh 3 kids whining and complaining all in a one-day drive fest or 3 kids whining and complaining spread out over a 2 day drive fest. I see it as a great excuse to drink as much Starbucks as my body can handle.

We are beside ourselves with excitement about the Ethiopian Kids picnic in the Twin Cities on Saturday. We will be with David's sister, which is wonderful. And to think I will get to squeeze Lucy in real life!!!! The kids get to dance in traditional Ethiopian attire, we get to eat Ethiopian food, and we can schmooze with all the families I so greatly admire and look up to.

I leave with you a photo of Zinabu and part of his nightly ritual. Spiderman pajamas and "the weighing of the books." He gets 2 books read to him at bedtime each night, and it is a very important decision! I mean, can you imagine him picking the wrong story??? Horror! He is so darling in his pj's I could just eat him up. But I try not to complain at how incredibly long it takes him to pick out his books. Sometimes I almost fall asleep sitting there while he chooses.

Recently Overheard:
Loud sobs and tears.

Me: What's wrong?

Zinabu: Lily made me MAD!

Me: Why? What happened?

Zinabu: Lily said babies can only grow in a girl's stomach and...that...makes...me...MAD! (great guttural sobs follow this.)

Me: Uh, Zinabu?

Zinabu: IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!! (he is now inconsolable)

I didn't have the heart to tell him that most women would line up to trade places with him.

Lily

This is the girl who...

Fed her rabbit

Cleaned the table

Got dressed

Played with Zinabu

Held my hand

Wrote a letter

Caught a ladybug

Changed her outfit

Swam 2 hours

Fixed her lunch

Changed her outfit

Pretended she was a dog

Played piano

Rode her bike

Changed her outfit and

Told me she liked me

And it's only 2:30!

Distraught
I posted recently that I have 4 friends expecting babies any day now. Joyfully I celebrate with Chandra who just delivered a baby boy. Deirdre is due any second now, and Heather has a few more weeks to go till her due date.

And Anne... after waiting 44 weeks for an Ethiopian baby girl, Anne and Steve received their referral just a few days ago. Absolute joy and celebrating has been happening at their home! But it was also tempered with the reality that their baby was on the other side of the world and already struggling with survival. I just found out that Clara Zinash passed away. It is cruel and horrible and completely unfair.

Please keep Anne and her family in your thoughts and prayers. I am unnerved and sick to my stomach.

Yes, I Am Still Alive!

Been missing in action as we are battling strep throat here. It makes for a bummer of a summer (uh, nice rhyme) when we can't go anywhere because one child is so sick. First Lily, now Zinabu. Hopefully we will be on the mend soon.

Summer has been a time of great recovery for our family, though. While I love public school and have been so pleased with what we've experienced thus far, Carver and Lily certainly needed a break. A break from the work and the schedule (although we are the most under-scheduled family I know) and the routine and even the social garbage that goes on between 9 year old boys and 6 and 7 year old girls. We are beginning to suspect that one of our kids has a learning disability, and this was the year that school became tough for them. So having my kids at home has brought out the best in their personalities, caused them to relax, caused them to just play on their own and enjoy being a child. Yesterday we broke out the slip 'n slide and the squeals of laughter made me smile.

And in a final note, happy Father's Day to all the amazing dads I know!

Father's Day

It has been 5 years since my dad died, and this was the first time I was able to stand in front of the Father's Day cards at Target and not collapse in a sobbing fit. Progress, I think. Either that or I have mastered the art of out-of-body-experience shopping. The first few years after he died were terrible. Everywhere I turned the word "Dad" was looming at me, and I kept wanting to scream at the elderly people I saw, "Why not you?" Irrational, I know, but it made sense at the time. The past year or two I have acknowledged Father's Day for my sweet husband's sake, because he is an amazing father, but I haven't done much more than that. I wake up, tell David he's the best, make his favorite food, and try not to think about the fact that my dad never met Zinabu--in fact, never even knew we were going to adopt again.

Today I was able to stand in the greeting card section at the store and spend a few minutes browsing for a card I knew David would enjoy. I was able to banish the vindictive thoughts I had when I saw other people buying cards for their fathers--like, "Do you know how freaking lucky you are????" Not the kind of conversation you exchange with a complete stranger who is just trying to find a humorous Hallmark card.

But I still miss him so much it aches. A terrible ache that has not gotten better over time, as so many people promised me it would. It doesn't get better... you just learn to live with it. I mean, this was the man that hugged me after I accidentally backed into his car when I was 16. The man who encouraged me to go to Italy for the summer after college. The man who was able to answer any question I ever asked him. The man who helped me re-do two kitchens in two houses in two years. The man who loved the summer I worked at Baskin and Robbins because he got free milkshakes. The man who gave me away at my wedding... What do you do when that person is gone?

Wheeeeeee!

Have I mentioned I love summer? We just keep on having more and more fun.

Tonight I am redeeming my Christmas present from David. Remember he bought me a gift certificate for Supper Solutions? It's where you go and assemble 20 meals and package them in freezable containers, bring them home, stash them in your freezer, and then not worry about cooking on certain days. I can't WAIT! The menu I chose has delights like Asian Orange Salmon, Indian Curry Kabobs, and Italian Calzones--to name a few. I'll let you know how it turns out. Kinda pathetic, though, that it took me 6 months to organize a time to go. But better late than never...

The very best part of our summer (thus far... as it has only been 2 weeks since school got out) is swimming lessons. My children are fish. Seriously. I look behind their ears on a regular basis to see if they have gills. They love the water sooooooooo much it's crazy. Swimming lessons were cancelled this morning because of a thunderstorm and all three kids sunk into the depths of despair. It actually ruined their whole day.

We've done lessons in the past--the 2x a week for a month variety. It has given Carver and Lily the basics. But right now we are in lessons that meet every morning Monday through Friday. I have them signed up for the entire summer and we are thrilled. Zinabu loves the water so much he is always under water and missing the instructions his teacher is giving him. We're working on reminding him he is there to learn and not to goof off. But he's so darn cute it's hard not to laugh at him.

Another bonus? It wears them out. Each morning we're up, fed, dressed, and out the door right away. The rest of the day is playgrounds, library, trampoline, and making the house incredibly messy. They're positively crashing at night.

And the ticket system is going well. It's been an interesting study, actually. My kids have watched almost NO television. They have asked for computer time and are eager for their 30 minute slot. But it just showed David and I that the TV was being used when they were bored. Before, if they ran out of things to do they would request a video or watch PBS. Now they are not so eager to part with their precious tickets. I'll keep you posted on our progress.

Role Models...

It doesn't matter to me what your voting preference is... Republican, Democrat, Independent. That's the beauty of our country, isn't it? But for our family, tears of joy were shed at the historical event of yesterday. The first African American to be nominated for a major party presidential ticket. My kids are all about to get these T-shirts, and we've had talks about how exciting it is to see a man with brown skin like them running for PRESIDENT! Even more thrilling to me is that Lily will see images of a First Lady who also looks like her.

My sweet friend Stacy wrote it best here. It sums up what we as parents dream of for our children.