WATER!

Carver at one end...

Zinabu at the other.

My boys stood at their stations for the better part of an hour just blasting each other. I wish I had a sound clip of Z's hysterical laughter. It was too funny. The water gun idea was so geared toward boys, as not one girl would go near them. Lily grew tired of having no one to play with and sulked on her towel. Exhibit A:

Keeping 3 kids busy (but not too busy) and entertained (but not too entertained) and challenged (but not frustrated) over the summer is a delicate balance. My kids are old enough now, though, that we can work on systems and charts and incentives. That goes a long way. For the summer, we've instituted the ticket system. You can buy huge rolls of red carnival type tickets at office supply stores, so we dropped $7 for a big roll. Each child gets 20 tickets at the beginning of the week. Each ticket is worth 1/2 hour of screen time (tv or computer). That averages out to an hour a day, plus some extra on the weekend for morning cartoons or a movie. Ahhh, but here's the fun part! They can lose tickets based on bad choices. They can earn more tickets by doing extra chores or reading for 30 minutes. For Carver, he can earn a ticket for extra schoolwork he completes. (There is one particular area he needs lots of practice, still.)

We're not battling the television so much as trying to teach our kids delayed gratification, budgeting skills, and consequences for rotten behavior. TV and computer are great! Lily's favorite website is Animal Planet where she can learn about science and endangered species, for pete's sake. But I do want my kids to learn that screen time is a privilege--not a right. And they can earn it or lose it. I'll let you know how it works.

WHAT?

My house smells like barbecue sauce. We did not eat barbecue today. Or yesterday. Which gives me three options:

1) I am losing my mind (a serious possibility).
2) I forgot a jar of barbecue sauce somewhere in the house and it has been opened but no one knows where it is.
3) A child was eating barbecue sauce in hiding and did not do a good job of cleaning it up, therefore I can still smell the evidence.

These are not good choices.

Did You Know...

that 9 of 10 kids living with AIDS are African?
Did you know you can help? Buy a RED product.

A Hallmark RED greeting card. How easy is that?

A motorola phone wrist strap.

My personal favorite... the onsie from BabyGap.

Freeline skates. I saw a video of someone using these and they rock!

An African-print bag available through Hallmark.

A RED t-shirt from the Gap (as you can see, it doesn't need to be red in color!)

Not to mention laptops, watches, cologne, sunglasses, purses, bracelets, ipods, dresses, etc! So there, you have no excuse not to go shopping this weekend and buy a little something for yourself and help save the life of an African living with AIDS. Retail therapy at its best.

Summer!
Summer is finally here. And I mean FINALLY! It is 84 degrees today--with gale force winds, but I'll take it. It was 45 yesterday with drizzle. Honestly, people, Colorado in the springtime will just about put you over the edge. And then all of a sudden, it's hot and you can finally put the jackets away.

The past few days I've been entertaining 5 children, as my friend Ali and her husband are in Cancun. Am I a good friend, or what? We had 2 of her kiddos here for 3 days and I tell you it was one assembly line after another between meals, brushing teeth, getting dressed, etc. Today I am back to just my brood, and we celebrated by hitting a huge park and splash fountain that's free and fun and makes Carver forget he's 9 going on 15.

Here are some photos from our camping trip. Did I mention it was cold?

Lily and Z rock climbing



Zinabu talking and yakking away as usual.




Carver and me trying to stay warm.

*Diana: it goes without saying we are eager, eager, eager to see you in MN. soon. But I thought I'd say it anyway. Toodles.

This & That

It's looking like it just might happen. Obama as the Democratic candidate. I've got fingers, legs, eyes, ears, and arms crossed. I am so excited about it I can hardly stand it!!! The first black president, a democrat, a compassion for the poor, and getting troops out of Iraq. It's like Christmas has come early!

We had a good time camping. At least we're all still alive, and that's saying something. Is there anything cuter than an Ethiopian eating a s'more? Zinabu l o v e s them.

Right now we're trying to iron out our summer plans. We had been planning a trip to Minnesota but it has become more and more difficult to figure out how to make the dates work. David's mom has not yet met Zinabu, and we NEED that to happen. Also, it is so important for us to get to the massive picnic attended by all the families who have adopted from Ethiopia through our agency. We're still trying to sort it out.

I just want happy kids, warm weather, a chance to sleep in, good visits with family, and no broken arms. Is that too much to ask?

School Is Out!

Carver and a few friends on the last day of school. I refuse to believe he will be in 4th grade next year. Let us not speak of it.



Lily (on the left) and some of her friends. They are so darling together I can't even stand it.

And a silly video of Zinabu. I am not kidding when I tell you that he would sit and talk to the grass while he watched it grow. He talks and talks and talks... I was finishing up my lunch when I realized he was aimlessly conversing about the fact that he thinks he's faster than me. Sorry it's dark, but watch at the end when he realizes he's lost the argument.

It is supposed to be one of the coldest weekends in a while, and of course it is the weekend we are scheduled to go camping. I am currently tearing the house apart looking for wool socks. I hate having to pack GLOVES for the kids for a weekend away, but it is what it is. Hope your weekend is wonderful.

List of 10

10. The number of books I have piled on my nightstand and am trying to read. Could this be the root of some of my issues? Trying to do too much? Hmmmm...

9. Nine o' clock. My favorite bedtime--for me.

8. The number of recipes I want to make in this book, but I am too intimidated by how pretty she is. Should someone who eats that much pasta be this beautiful??? Not fair!

7. The number of apples I have in the fridge right now. That should last us about 3 days.

6. Number of years left until Carver can apply for a driver's permit. Just kill me now.

5. I have 5 sisters-in-law.

4. Number of people who are expecting babies very soon--Anne, Chandra, Deirdre, and Heather.

3. In the last 24 hours, the number of people who have told me they are pregnant! (This has to be some kind of record!) K., A., and C.

2. Only two more days of school left!!!!

1. One very quirky behavior of mine... I actually love watching cartoons with my kids. It's hard for me to get things done when I allow them TV time because I want to watch, too.

Happy Again

So if you dared to return to my blog after that last whine-a-thon, then more power to you. I appreciate the encouragement... And I have to say that it's not terrible here. Just some days can be more psycho challenging than others and it doesn't take much to turn me to a blob of insecurity. We had a great weekend with hot weather--which included a track meet, popsicles, the wading pool, planning a camping trip, books, tag, and all the other things that make childhood fun.

On Friday I joined Lily's class for a field trip to the zoo. Our zoo here in town is pretty rockin'--with very hands-on exhibits and kid-friendly environments. Here are a few photos.

Lily feeding the budgies.

The aroma in one of the buildings was a bit too much for Z.

If Lily could have taken one home, she would have.

The zoo is actually set in the mountains. When we left, we drove past a resort and golf course and saw this!

Please notice the golf cart in the background. I think the men were actually a little peeved that they had to abandon their game. Also note the WIRE FENCE between me and the bears. And if you listen, you can hear Z whisper, "They're so BIG." He was putting no faith in the wire fence.

Not bad for a field trip!

Warning: Not-So-Happy-Cathy Posting Today

Not-so-happy-Cathy is also interchangeable but not limited to Eats-Too-Many-Carbs-Cathy and Utterly-Sleep-Deprived Cathy, as well as What-On-Earth-Was-I-Thinking-Having-3-Kids-Cathy and Screw-You-People-I'm-Out-Of-Here-Cathy. But today let's just stick with not so happy. This was the week it all came crashing down. The distressing reality that motherhood does NOT get easier with each passing year. Rather, it just gets harder. Seriously. I thought those baby and toddler years were the ultimate challenge, but alas I was so, so wrong. Now that I have three kids who are in the "middle" years, I find myself more and more ill-equipped for what they throw at me, what happens on any given day (example: one child yelling that another child locked them out of the house), and how I am supposed to meet their individual needs over and over again.

So even though I really should be reading some kind of self-help parenting book right now, I chose to use my time in a strictly idiotic way--reenacting "the tantrum."

Exhibit A: you know you're about to hear something you disagree with, so you look extremely disinterested and pretend to be staring at a spot on the wall.


Exhibit B: The eye roll. You hear your mom or dad giving you constructive criticism or some kind of important life lesson, and you show them by rolling your eyes (repeatedly) that you really could not care less.

Exhibit C: The tears. Also accompanied by yelling and howling. Usually after the eye roll when you realize there is a punishment accompanying the above life lesson. A full blown fit if it's a really bad punishment.

Exhibit D: The "I am not speaking to you anymore" look. It is the only weapon left in the child's arsenal, but they use it very effectively and it reduces many parents to jell-o. At this point the parent has to stick with everything they've just laid out, despite the fact that the child is staring daggers at them.

Exhibit E: Parent goes to the kitchen to stuff their face with comfort food and tries to talk them self off the ledge of giving up entirely.

Now repeat that cycle weekly--and on a REALLY bad day, multiple times.
Why do you think I blog? It's my only safe outlet.

A few days ago I mentioned I was looking for a certain video I wanted to share. This is it. It was a little over a year ago that we drove to the airport to greet Zinabu. This video is very bittersweet to me--I can remember being scared out of my mind. Meeting a perfect stranger who was essentially my child! I see Zinabu in this short video clip and cannot help but comment on how incredibly brave he is. He had just left his home country, had flown for endless hours with strangers, could not understand English, was exhausted, was already getting sick with the mumps, and had to meet his new family. Can you imagine?

Although it is hard to see in this clip, Z walked with a definite waddle, almost like he was wearing cowboy boots that were too big for him. His legs had atrophied muscles and he was incredibly bowlegged. Partly from malnutrition, we suspect... It's hard to know. He had a very difficult time on playground equipment when he first arrived, and all his muscles were frighteningly weak. In the past year his legs have bulked up and there are no lingering issues. He has grown almost 10 inches this year. TEN INCHES!!! Amazing what nutrition will do.

So although this video is a milestone for our family, I grieve because it was such a traumatic time for Z and a blatant reminder of how much he needed good food and a family. I am still processing all of it. I feel so strongly about adoption, the call for decent families to step up and give an orphan a home, the need for children all over world to have a decent meal and heath care each day, the reality that too many (millions) die from hunger and preventable diseases...

I implore you to make a difference!

Recently Overheard


Lily: Mom, I am going to marry a black man when I grow up.

Me: Okay.

Lily: I mean, it would just be too weird to marry a white man.

Me: Okay. (Note to self: remember to discuss marriage options are open to all races)

Lily: The problem is, I don't know any older black men.

Me: I certainly hope not. You're only in first grade!!!

This Makes Me Feel Better

I was invited to Carver's 3rd grade classroom for a Mother's Day Tea today. Without knowing about it, Carver paid $1 of his own money to help contribute to the cookies, he wrote an essay on why he loves me, and made the sweetest memory jar with slips of paper inside on which he wrote memories of things we've done together. I loved every single minute of it. Here is his essay, in case you can't hear him...

These are the reasons why mom Mom is special to me. First, she loves me. She makes my lunch for me every day. She spends time with me. I also love her. Next, she buys me things. She buys me toys. She buys my clothes. Also, she buys me candy. Sometimes. Last, she is a great cook. On my birthday she made me cheeseburgers. I love cheeseburgers. She makes good grilled cheese and quesadillas. I think she is special. So you can see I love my Mom.

I come across a little bit like Santa--you know, with the toys and candy. And have I ever once bragged about my culinary skills? Snort! You know I haven't. I LOVE a 9 year old's perspective.

Missing In Action

Haven't blogged in a few days. We are having a hum-dinger of a rotten week at our house, so it's hard to find anything fun to talk about. Maybe we can turn this around and be all smiles again in a few days.

Blast It!

Those Wiggles and their Australian accents! I have just had the 3,000th conversation with Zinabu that the song that sounds like "Wiggly Potty" is actually "Wiggly Party." Its just that with their accents they don't say the "r." Zinabu has lectured and lectured me about potty talk, and I have found myself in a debate with him (remember, he's 4) way too many times.

I'm off to chuck some music out the window.

Dreaming...

I so, so, so want to adopt an HIV+ child from Ethiopia. There! I said it. (David just fell out of his chair as he read this I'm sure.) Of course, we are done with kids. Unless we win the lottery or I grow 2 more arms, it won't happen. But the ache is still there. I don't think it will ever go away.

Still looking for that video to post. It's so precious, I will waste an entire day uploading it and making sure you get to see it. We are celebrating Z home ONE YEAR today!!!! I am speechless. I look at him and just get all teary and gooey inside. I'm pretending it's my allergies everytime he asks me, "What's wrong, Mom?"

And for fun, I Love Giveaways is featuring my Etsy shop this week. Go HERE to check it out. You may win (that's for you, Heather)!

Thinking of Last Year

One year ago I posted this:

I am one of those freaks that is somewhat anti-cell phone and doesn't feel the need to have one. But I tell you, today I am singing the praises of technology because I just spoke with Zinabu on the phone. David called me (on our $4.99 a minute) international phone, and Zinabu is with him now at the guest house. David has full custody and the boys are together in the room. All through our brief conversation, I could hear Zinabu in the background babbling like a normal 3 year old boy. In fact, he was talking so fast, so loud, and so excitedly David and I were laughing till tears were running down our faces. Such joy! David put the phone up to Zinabu's ear and I said, "Selam, Zinabu! Mommy!" I heard him scream, "MOMMY."Okay, I am ready for them to come home now.

It brings back memories I can hardly describe, and the knowledge that we are just days away from our one year anniversary of bringing Zinbau to America is wonderful. I'm looking for a specific video to post and will hopefully get that uploaded in a day or two, but for now I am just goofy happy that we can celebrate this milestone!

Different Strokes for Different Folks

What is true love? For Lily it is this:

For Carver it is this:

For Zinabu it is this:

For David it is this:

And in case you even had to wonder... for me it is this:

It's no secret from David. He knows. In fact, yesterday he told me I should have a bumper sticker that says, "My other husband is Mr. Darcy." Which is why I married him in the first place. Smart man, that one!

What Weekend?

48 hours can go by so fast. The weather has turned from the dark side back to good. This entire week is going to be beautiful and warm. I might have to suck it up and start getting the garden ready. It's one of the many items in a long, long list of things to do. I always forget that once the weather gets warm the yard suddenly needs lots and lots of attention (read: work). The highlight of our weekend was seeing Finding Nemo on Ice. Any Disney show is worth it, as the special effects are usually great. (Hayat: you would have loved it!) The fireworks that went off nearly scared the you-know-what out of Lily, but everything else was superb. We had warned the kids beforehand that there would be lots of toys and snacks for sale but we WOULD NOT be buying any. It's really over the top, if you ask me. Men and women roaming the aisles, hawking $20 Nemo cups of frozen lemonade and hats. Zinabu got the idea that if he smiled his 100-watt smile at them and gave a friendly wave someone might just give him a free toy. I think he was genuinely surprised when it didn't work. My brother the police officer stopped by that afternoon and let Z flash the top lights of the squad car. Does it get any better than that?

She Is Almost 7

I don't know how it happened, but in just a few more days Lily will be 7. I'm dying inside, but can't wait to see who she'll become. And we're already pushing for a college track scholarship because she is the dang fastest child I have ever seen.

From this...


To this...



And now I am like this...

Oh Yeah... This Is Why I Like Being A Mom!

Today was like the perfect storm: balmy weather in the 70's, a welcome lull in my jewelry orders, a stocked refrigerator, and no errands to run. Z and I walked to the park where we just played and laughed and had a picnic together. It seems like forever since I've had a day like this with him and I had a blast. It renewed my soul and gave me hope that summer really will come this year and that being a mom is not so bad.

Recently Overheard

I swear I could post one of these every day, but I'll try to keep it to once a month. In the car on the way home from church...

Lily: Zinabu, here's what you do when someone is being mean to you.

Zinabu: What?

Lily: I just look at them, and I push up my eyebrows and I tell them to stop it or I'm gonna tell on them!

Zinabu: (speechless silence--as he's seen her lift her eyebrows and he knows she means business)

I'm The Cool Mom With Fries

Today Carver's 3rd grade class had a field trip, and I volunteered to be one of the drivers and chaperons. Carver vacillates between still wanting me to hold his hand and wanting me to stay as far away from him as I can when he's with his friends. So he was almost making himself bi-polar over the angst of my coming along today. Happy to be with me, but not wanting me to be there to remind him to stay in line and be quiet, blah blah blah. I drove Carver, 2 boys, and 3 girls, and I was responsible for them as we toured a really beautiful historical mansion here in town. I am overjoyed to report that I lost NO ONE! On the way back to school, the girls broke out their High School Musical trivia book and gave me the multiple choice quiz. I passed! And in a burst of kindness, I drove through McD's and got each of them french fries to munch on.

So now I am, like, so totally cool to all of them.

How Does The World View Our Upcoming Election?

I have sweet (and I mean sweet--there is no one like them) friends living in Jordan right now. They recently posted this on their blog. Very interesting. If I don't read about what's going on in other parts of the world, my universe gets about this small. I too easily focus on my own issues and lose sight of a larger perspective. Granted, the current infractions in this house that Zinabu is annoying and looks at his sister wrong is edge-of-your-seat exciting, and I can't wait to find out who The Biggest Loser is next Tuesday night... but still, I need to stay relevant.

In other news, it rained this afternoon and rather than spend the after-school hours at home I took the kids to an indoor put-put golf place. I could have offered my kids some of my airplane meds and we would have had the same experience, because this place was lit with black lights and painted in day-glo paint. By the end of our hour there, my kids were sneaking peeks down their pants to see if their underwear glowed in the black lights and I felt like my eyes were going to explode. Lily quickly informed me she wants her birthday party there so there is a good chance I will be back in a few weeks, watching kids whack glowing golf balls around. I bet you can't wait for photos.

What do you get when you cross 3 children who are hungry, one exhausted woman, 2 stuffy noses, nothing for dinner, and the grocery store? A really bad idea, that's for sure. At one point my child pushing the cart actually hit a little old woman!!!! I wanted to die of embarrassment. Then we get to the checkout where Zinabu was convinced we needed the M&Ms at his eye level and Lily felt I was giving Z too much attention and Carver wanted to "help" type in my info on the credit card pad... Then they all started arguing and crying and sneering and (be still my heart) tattling! I was one of those women who looked like she had no control over her kids (well, let's face it--I didn't) and the older gentleman in line behind me could not have been more displeased with my parenting skills. Just about the time I think I have this mothering thing figured out, right after a really good weekend when I was able to connect with each of my kiddos, this grocery expedition throws it all out the window and I feel so crummy. I keep clinging to what my mom tells me... that they won't remember this when they're older. Please let that be true.

Waiting for Spring

It just does not seem to want to come. Spring, that is. I keep waiting, shaking the lucky 8 ball, praying, hoping, looking--but alas, spring is taking its sweet time arriving. The blessed part about Colorado is mild winters and warm days that come between snow storms. But then there is the downside--the expectation that it should be warmer than it is. I so desire warm afternoons, but so far all we've had is cool, windy afternoons. Snow and rain expected this week, and 2 of my kids have colds again. It feels like January! The photo is of the tree in our backyard--looking as bare as ever. C'mon spring! Where are you?

What do you do to keep from going nuts at this time?

Parenting Tip #341

The days after Halloween, hit Target and grab as many costumes as you wish for 75% off. Also hit Goodwill for wigs, princess accessories, superhero garb, etc. Let your kids dress up whenever they want and let the good times roll.

Someone Dropped The "B" Bomb

I knew it would happen... someday. "I wish I lived with my birth mother!"

Said this afternoon by a child in utter exasperation, after a long conversation about computer time and computer privileges. It came out as child was stomping up the stairs. And for all my fears about that phrase, it didn't ruffle my feathers at all. Given the circumstances leading up to the blowout, it was said in total frustration and was really no different than saying, "I want to live with Grandma" or "I want to live somewhere else." Because certainly we are the only house in the universe with rules about the computer. Every other kid in the world gets to stare endlessly at inappropriate games on the screen while drinking straight Coca-Cola and shoving candy in their mouths. Why do my children continue to believe the lie that we are the only parents who have rules? Who is feeding them this propaganda?

Of course I refrained from saying, "Go ahead!" because that would not be a good mothering moment. Right now I am letting the child cool off, and we will talk about it later. But secretly I am glad to have that phrase out of the closet and in the open, and I don't have to worry about "someday" anymore.